[Book VII, Act X, Scene I. Harvey's Sitting Room. ALICE is here, wearing a "Dementia's Gonna Getcha" t-shirt. ]

A0 [Enter MAC, looking travel worn. MAC looks around for the others]

Mac: Hello? Anybody here? [Wonders around before taking a seat in the living room to await the others]

Alice: Hi Mac! What are you doing here?

[Enter JERRICK, wearing a big woolly jumper bearing the message "I LOVE MUM"]

Jerrick: Hi, Mac. How's it going?


[Enter CLINT, shockingly clean and smelling strangely of soap.]

Clint: Hey, guys. Long time, no see!


Alice: Stinky! Wow, looks like we're getting the band back together!


[Enter CHARLIE, looking very chipper and carrying a slide projector in one hand and a bag stuffed with wrapped presents in the other. She is once again wearing her wedding ring, which has been repaired.]

Charlie: [Cheerily] Hello, group! I've brought presents for all of you [shakes the bag of presents enticingly] , and Pestilence and I put together a marvelous slide show [lifts the projector] just for you, with [beaming proudly] 500 of the very best pictures of our darling daughter, Wilhelmina!


Clint: [Enthusiastically.] Do you have any of her looking annoyingly cute?


Charlie: [To Clint, delighted] Oh, ALL of them are just [enormous proud emphasis] achingly precious! Here, open your presents! [Hands Clint, Alice, Mac, and Jerrick each a stack of three presents]

;;; The presents are a fridge magnet, a keychain, and

;;; a framed picture, all featuring a sleeping infant,

;;; AKA, Wilhelmina!


Alice: Yay! Presents! [Tears open hers, and looks at the puzzled] Which one is she looking cute in?


Jerrick: [Smiling broadly] Aww she's so cute! [Sadly] But I didn't get you anything!


Clint: Hey, thanks! [Takes a closer look.] My god, this baby doesn't have any teeth!

;;; In the immortal words of my grandmother, who really

;;; ought to have known better.


Alice: That's okay, Jerrick. I got some presents for everyone too. And these are even cuter than baby pictures! [Gestures to a pile of badly wrapped gifts that are a mess of paper, ribbon and tape] Don't they look beautiful?

[The presents are all tourist tat from Dementia, ALICE's hometown, which is on the sea. There are plastic donkeys, snow globes, etc., all with "Dementia" written on them in a variety of nausea inducing ways.]

;;; Gone for an hour!


Charlie: [Cheerily shakes her snow globe and watches the fake snow swirl] Oh, how lovely! Thank you, Alice. [Holds up a t-shirt that says "The Demented Do It Donkey Style" and discreetly tosses it behind a sofa]


Jerrick: [Examining one of the gifts] Now who would want to tattoo "Dementia" on a donkey's ars- Oh, I know! If the donkey got lost someone standing behind him could tell him the way home!


Charlie: [Looks around the room, smiling] It's wonderful to see all of you. You're all looking so well! [Settles into a chair] Tell me, what have you been doing this past month?


Clint: Incredible! What will they think of next?


Mac: Thank you very much you two! The gifts are wonderful. Unfortunately I don't have any gifts as such but I would happily regale you all with my travels helping people and kittens where I could.


[Austin strolls casually into the room, wearing a beautifully tailored Ribelula suit and hand made baby panda skin shoes by Alexandria McSwoon]

Austin : Hello everyone, so good to see you all looking so well. [To Charlie] I believe congratulations are in order [Gives her a big hug]


Alice: Hey Austin! [To Charlie] So, a month ago you were pregnant, and now you have baby pictures. What gives?


Charlie: [Returns Austin's hug warmly] Thank you! Here, I have some gifts for you [hands Austin his stack of Wilhelmina-themed gifts] . [To Alice] The pregnancy only lasted a few weeks, and you wouldn't believe how quickly she's growing. We never quite know what to expect next with her, given that she is biological a half-demon, and there are no studies on the subject. [Big smile] Yet!


Jerrick: [Chuckles] Awww, they grow up so fast don't they? She'll be eating the sofa before you know it.


Alice: [Nostalgically] Then Pestilence will find her on the sofa with a boy that he throws out, and before you know it, it'll be her thirteenth birthday!


Charlie: [Sighs happily and admires Jerrick's framed picture of Wilhelmina] She's just lovely, isn't she? So like her father. I can't wait for all of you to meet her! [To Jerrick, conversationally] But what have you been doing this last month?


Mac: [Admiring the picture] She is an adorable little half-demon isn't she?

;;; I have an important meeting at 14:30. Prior to that I'm preparing

;;; for it so my posting today will be sporadic.


Jerrick: [Shrugs] Found the old crew - we did a few charity cruises, relief efforts, transporting food to poor regions, that sort of thing. Then I went to Cormyr to drop in on my family, see how they're doing. [Points to his jumper] Hey, what d'you think? Mum made me this!


Charlie: [Admiring the jumper] Very nice! [To Austin] What about you? Where did you go?


Alice: It looks cool, Jer, although [lowers her voice] I think she spelled "Mum" wrong!


Jerrick: Thanks! [Beams] Nah, this is just how we spell it our end of the world.


Charlie: [To Alice] And what have you been doing this past month?


Alice: You'll never guess where I've been!


Charlie: [Wryly shakes her Dementia snow globe at Alice] Yes, I know WHERE, but what have been doing?


Mac: Um... Dementia?


Alice: No! [Dramatically] Dementia! [To Charlie, pretending to be shocked] Oh my God! It's going to snow, even though we're indoors! Aaaargh! [Calms down] Myself and Deucie spent a bunch of time together, and then we went to Dementia to meet my family. Deuce is just great -- wait until you see the tattoo I got!


Austin : [To Alice] I'd just love to see your tattoo. [To Charlie] Well, I went on a bit of a tour, visiting many of my ex's [Yawns] Quite tiring really. They were all very please to see me. [Looks suprised] Not suprising really.


Jerrick: [To Alice] Did you and the donkey get matching tattoos? In the same place?


Alice: I don't know, I didn't see what kind of tattoo your mother got. [Hitches up her skirt, showing off her frilly underpants as she does so, before pulling them down a bit to reveal "Alice + Deuce 4Eva"] Isn't it great?


Charlie: [To Alice, surprised] Wait, you mean MY Deuce?! Do you think that's such a good idea?


Alice: No, Charlie, he's MY Deuce. Don't you see that tattoo?


Charlie: [Averting her eyes] Yes, unfortunately, I saw it! [Delicately] But, Alice, are you sure Deuce has [searches for the words] feelings of the permanent, shall we say tattooable, kind for you?


Mac: Are you sure that was such a good idea? I mean, [blushing slightly] it's very tasteful an all, but relationships don't always last.


Alice: Of course! Deuce got one just like it -- and look, there's more! [Pulls down her knickers a bit more to show that the entire tattoo is "Alice + Deuce 4EVA, or for as long as they both remain committed to what's probably not a life long relationship"] See? It's not like I did anything crazy!


Mac: It is a good disclaimer, but if it doesn't last forever do you think future partners are going to want to see it?


Alice: Don't be ridiculous! Of course it'll last forever!


Charlie: I see. Out of interest, which of you suggested the text for the tattoos?


Jerrick: [Raises an eyebrow] And if it doesn't, you've got a prenup down there, right? That'd certainly make the whole deal a lot more interesting...


Mac: Then why the extra bit on the end?


Alice: [Fixes her clothes, annoyed] You know what? You're just a bunch of jack asses! So much for understanding!


Charlie: [To Alice, soothingly] Please calm down, dear. We are just trying to look after you and make sure your expectations are realistic, so that your feelings aren't hurt. Not everyone can be as lucky as me, after all.


Jerrick: Yes, we do not mean to pry - we were just showing friendly concern.


Alice: You can show your friendly concern to someone else!


Austin : [To Alice] Well I think your tattoo is just excellent. Succinct and to the point, fashionable yet personal, and street but complete. [To the party] After all, nothing last forever!


Charlie: [To Austin, flashing her wedding ring] Not true!


Jerrick: Perhaps we should change the subject? I had this weird dream about a dove....


Charlie: [To Jerrick] Oh, so did I! It was horrible. I haven't quite been the same since, either. [Looks at the others] Is that what brought all of you here?


[Enter Dur, with a sad dreamy look on his face]

Dur: Indeed. Nothing short of strange visions could tear me away from my new life and re-discovered love...=


Alice: Love? Really? Do you have a tattoo?


Charlie: [To Dur] How splendid, Dur! Was this that Hatie woman you suggested was younger and more attractive than me?


Dur: [To Alice] Who would need physical scarring to prove their love to someone? [To Charlie] Indeed it is!


Jerrick: [To Dur, shocked] You said *what*? [Backs away carefully]


Alice: It's not physical scarring, it's body art!


Charlie: [To Jerrick] It's quite all right, Mr. Adaar! I have no need to feel that I am physically attractive to Dur. [Looks around the room] Now, did all of you have the same vision? One of a burning dove? And did it make you feel rather in dispair afterward?


Alice: As a matter of fact, I did. It wasn't really a vision, rather a very vivid dream.

;;; Gone for an hour


Jerrick: [To Charlie] Phew! Thank Phili for that! [Collects himself] Yes, a dove flying, then it bursts into flames. Just the same dream over and over. And yeah, there was a kind of depression afterwards.


Charlie: [Uneasily] What do you think the dream means?


Austin : Sadly I think it means the end of peace.


Charlie: Do you think it's a warning, then?


Jerrick: Who could it be from?


Dur: Does it have to be from anyone? It could perhaps just be a premonitionof things to come. Perhaps we should ask Clementine herself?=


Charlie: But what if it's a warning ABOUT Clementine? I think we need to know more before we tell anyone else. [Frowns] I wonder if anyone else is having these dreams?


Mac: I also had the same dream. But far from consult Clementine, I feel the dove may represent Clementine.


Dur: [Looks thoughtful] Perhaps we can hit the streets and consult our neighbors and see if they have had similar dreams. If the dream IS about Clemen= tine, it could also be a warning that her well being is threatened. If she represents the dove as peace, then that peace may be due to be disrupted. B= ut by who? Clementine herself? The dove caught fire but did not necessarilystart the fire.


Jerrick: Represent Clementine? In what way?


Alice: Dur's right, a lot of people refer to Clementine as the Dove. But the question is, what does the warning mean?


Austin : It means that she is either going to die or that she is dieing. Perhaps we should go and check.


Charlie: Yes, it could well mean that, though I don't know why WE are receiving that information, or how! Did anyone in your lives mention having the dreams? Perhaps it's a form of attack by an enemy of Clementine, to undermine her?


Alice: I asked plenty of people, but none of them'd had it.


Jerrick: I asked a few of my crewmen and they suggested I go have a good lie down.


Mac: I kept it to myself. I wanted to confer with you all first.


Alice: [Nods] Always good advice.


Charlie: [Flips through a notepad quickly] We're forgetting about the prophecy, group! Remember what Gougal said about that last bit? That he thought it referred to "something beautiful or something that can fly . . . " and that his interpretation was that beautiful/flying thing HAS to die. [Wails] That can't be what this means, can it?


Clint: [Soothingly.] Everything ends sooner or later, Charlie. Even the age of aquarius and all that.


Dur: [Looks sad] I don't really want the Bliss to end! What happens when itdoes? Does everything go back to the way it was before?


Austin : [To Mac] Whislt I understand that you did what you did with the best of intentions, would you mind telling us all your real name. It makes one feel foolish to keep calling you Mac, when one knows that that is not your name.

;;;; awa hame


Alice: No way! Surely people won't forget?


Jerrick: Wait, has the world been tilted towards good all this time because of Clementine's sacrifice? What happens when it re-balances? Does it tilt towards evil?


Mac: My real name is Amacus Brindleworthy. But people have been calling me Mac for so long that it might as well be my real name. I guess that's how the mix-up at the watcher council happened.


the >mix-up at the watcher council happened.

Dur: [Shrugging to both Alice and Jerrick] I don't know, but is it worth taking that risk? If something threatens Clementine's well being I say we opp= ose that threat post haste to try and avoid the prophecy outright!! I say we go talk to Clementine as soon as we can!=


Alice: [To Jerrick] Well, the risk is at the moment, because there is so much good, it is easier for evil to thrive. Although, [nervous cough] that hasn't happened, er, yet.


ppose that threat post haste to try and avoid the prophecy outright!! I saywe go talk to Clementine as soon as we can!

Charlie: [To Dur, sadly] I wish we could do just that. Certainly, this has been the happiest month of my life. I'm sure that's true for all of us. But Mr. Adaar makes a good point. If the balance has swung too far toward good, what can that mean for the future?


ppose that threat post haste to try and avoid the prophecy outright!! I saywe go talk to Clementine as soon as we can!

Jerrick: [To Dur] I think we need to know what's happening either way. I don't like the idea of sitting and waiting to see if the world is still here tomorrow.


Clint: [Worriedly.] I agree, as long as by "oppose" you mean "have a rational, non-judgmental conversation about it in a value-neutral sort of way."


Mac: Before we act we need more information. [To Charlie] Perhaps your husband can offer some insight?


Charlie: [Sighs] I'm afraid not. I told him all about the dreams, but he didn't have them himself and knew nothing about them. In any case, the dreams were so unsettling, I asked him to stay behind at Bodenringham Manor and watch over Wilhelmina, just in case something terrible is happening.


Jerrick: So what now? We can try to find Clementine and talk to her about it, or... Any other ideas?


Charlie: [To Jerrick] None, I'm afraid. [To the group] Shall we go see Clementine, then?


Alice: I have the prophecy here. [Reads it] The fruit of the tree (the Realms) that has no thorns will be consumed by the devil. The Children of the Lady (that's us) who gave birth to the guardian (reference to us creating Phili) Create the spirit of the lion through the death of the dove. [Thinks] Huh.


Clint: I don't like the sound of that! The dove is probably Clementine, and the lion sounds... violent. Which is just lions being lions, but still!


Alice: But what does the lion actually represent? Everything else in the prophecy seems to represent something else.


Charlie: I don't know! I can't think of anything or anyone who has been described as lion-like in relation to Clementine or the prophecy, etc. [To Alice] I don't suppose you took a brief break from tattooing to ask Deuce what he might guess the lion could be?


Clint: [Shrugs.] Search me. Maybe something kind of royal-like, or violent, or something like that. [Amused.] Maybe it's Pestilence, somehow.


Charlie: [To Clint] Yes, good point--perhaps royalty? [Wryly] Though somehow I doubt Pestilence would find himself described as lion-like in any prophecies. He doesn't have many fans, and it strikes me as rather a positive term.


Jerrick: It says the spirit of the lion rather than the lion itself, right? That could also mean nobility or honor. Which doesn't sound so bad...


Clint: Well, didn't Pestilence used to be noble and virtuous back when he was working for the first Phili? [Proud of himself.] See? It could totally be Pestilence. But probably not.


Alice: Actually, Deuce had plenty of time to think about this, but he didn't, what with being so into me and all. One thing he did say about the spirit of the lion is that it probably does refer to something like nobility or strength.

;;; Gone for TWO hours!


Charlie: Perhaps a trait or a feeling, then, rather than a person? Or a person who has those traits? [To Jerrick] Pestilence would be happy to come with us, but he's quite far from here just now, at Bodenringham Manor. [Uneasily] And he's watching over our very vulnerable newborn. In any case, I don't think the prophecy could refer to him. [To Clint] He isn't the man he used to be, of course. Not matter how much I love him, even I can't deny he isn't exactly a NOBLE character!

;;; As am I, rather coincidentally!


Jerrick: Looks like the only course of action right now is to go talk to Clementine, then. Shall we?


Austin : Perhaps your newborn is the Lion?


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Charlie: [To Austin, taken aback] Well, she IS perfectly splendid, but I can't imagine that an infant could play a significant role in the prophecy. [Ho= rrified] At least, I hope not! --Apple-Mail-1--47411498 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable


Alice: Remember, Jerome's newborn played a part when he was trying to take over the world. [To Jerrick and Mac] We had to kill him.


Charlie: [Fiercely] No one is laying a hand on our daughter! She has nothing whatsoever to do with this. The lion must refer to something else.


Jerrick: [Sarcastic] Oh great. Killing newborns was *exactly* what I had in mind when I got up this morning.


Mac: Charlie, don't forget that the prophecy says we create the lion through the death of the dove. I don't think your daughter can be the lion as the dove isn't dead yet. I don't think we should be searching for the lion as I don't believe it exists yet. We need to identify what we could create, whether it is a kingdom, or a religion, or anything, by destroying Clementine.


Alice: [Nods] Yes, it would be awful to have to hurt her. And that's not [stagily] lion!


Charlie: [To Mac] Yes, of course! Your interpretation is quite right, I think. I wonder if we'll only know what is created once Clementine is destroyed? [Winces] What a horrible thought! She's brought so much joy to so many people.


Jerrick: Of course, it's *possible* that she did that to produce a tilt back towards evilness.


Dur: I refuse to believe such a thing! [Frowning] I'm not saying it isn't possible, mind you, just that I refuse to believe it! As loathe as I am to p= art from my beloved, I fear we may be required to take some sort of action group.=


Charlie: [To Jerrick, reluctantly] Yes, I suppose we must recognize that possibility. [Looks around the room, looking a bit ill] So, are we agreed, then? We must find a way to destroy Clementine?


Austin : I am not supporting any from of aggression against Clementine. It is a preposterous idea. Surely if Clementine has move the balance overly then nature will take care of things, and we should not interfere!


Charlie: [To Austin] Then, how do you interpret the prophecy? What do you make of these dreams? And what would you suggest we do next? Believe me, I am more than ready to take a different course of action, but none is clear to me at this point, so please suggest an alternative if you can!


Alice: How about NOT killing Clementine? At the very least, let's not tell anyone that we've even been talking about it. I know people are understanding, but this might be going too far!


Charlie: [Exasperated] Well, I don't WANT to kill her, and I had no intention of discussing it openly, at least outside of the company of the group. I'm open to suggestions. The only other suggestion anyone has made is Mr. Adaar's, I believe, that we seek out Clementine and reassess after that. Shall we do that, then?


Mac: From the sounds of it, the prophecy can't be completed until we take action. We aren't on any time scale so rather than take any rash actions we need more information. I think we need to identify what this lion refers to first. [To Charlie] Can you think of anyone else we could contact discreetly regarding this?


Alice: Do which? Kill Clementine? [Puzzled] I thought we said we weren't going to!

[There is a scream from outside.]

;;; Gone for the weekend!!


Jerrick: Are blood-curdling screams ever a good sign?


Dur: Hardly ever... Though I have gotten used to them over the years traveling in this company. [Sighs] =


Charlie: [Takes her sword and heads outside] Come along, group! That doesn't exactly sound like Bliss, does it?!

;;; Have a good weekend, everyone!


Mac: [Rushes out after Charlie, making sure to stay close behind her] C'mon everyone!


Jerrick: [Rolls his eyes] Here we go again! [Follows Charlie and Mac, sword drawn]


Austin : [Wiggles his eyebrows] That depends on what kind of bliss you are after! [Smirks]


Alice: [To Aus] I know -- it's either really bad or really, really, really good!

[Exit ALL, running outside.]

;;; End of scene. Next one coming up


[Book VII, Act X, Scene II. The Streets of Queens View. ALICE, AUSTIN, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR, JERRICK and MAC are here, having just left HARVEY's house. The streets are fairly quiet as it is now late in the evening. There is a man here, DON MCJAIN, who is covered in blood. Also here is BERNARD MACBERNIE, a cheerful looking man.]

Don: Please! Help me!

Bernard: [With a big smile] Don't worry friend, you'll be fine.

;;; The party are now almost back to normal with

;;; each other, i.e. a little more understanding than

;;; normal, but not a whole lot more. However,

;;; they will still assume the best of non PCs.


Clint: [Serenely.] How did this happen, and can we help?


Don: I was attacked by an uhhhh. [Passes out]

Alice: An uhhhh? [Looks alarmed] Sounds scary.


Charlie: [To Bernie] Did you see what happened?


Clint: And if you did and you're too traumatized to talk about it, don't worry. This is a safe place here.


Charlie: [To Clint] But he doesn't seem traumatized, so perhaps he could be so kind as to help us help this poor distraught man?

;;; Cleaner, gentler Clint cracks me up! : )


Bernard: Of course. Perhaps someone should take a look outside to see what happened? It must have been a wild animal or something.


Jerrick: [Rummaging through his pack] I wonder if I have anything to ease this poor unfortunate man's pain. [Finds his flask, hesitates, then offers it to Don with a pained grimace]


Clint: Really, this seems like a job for a doctor. Or even a pretend doctor. [Gives Dur a look.]

;;; Even ol' Stinky had to have a sensitive side somewhere!


Dur: Uh, sure. I'll take a look. [Takes out his poking stick and gives Don a poke] This man is alive! [To Bernard] Take him to the doctor's surgery, he needs urgent care.

[Unfortunately, DON is unconscious, so can't avail of JERRICK's kind offer.]

Alice: Did everyone bring their weapons? Maybe we should check outside to see what happened?


Charlie: Oh, yes! I brought my sword. [To the party] If you haven't a weapon, grab something with some heft and let us go! [Heads outside]


Austin : [Sighs, readies his sling shot and follows Charlie] Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.


Jerrick: [Draws his sword, looks at it fondly] Well, girl, looks like we might have work to do again. Been a while, eh?


Alice: [In her best sword voice, which sounds rather like her own voice] Yes, Jerrick, let's kill something!


Charlie: [Horrified] Well, let's TRY not to kill something, at least. [Hopefully] Perhaps the man merely fell? This is a time of peace and understanding, after all!


Austin : Wait a moment, [Turns and take a closer look at the body] You said some form of animal must have done it? [Inspects the wounds]

;;;; Are these wounds like the 'from within it consumes' woundss?


Jerrick: Well he said he was attacked - I see no reason to assume he was lying. But if he was attacked by something, we should see if it's still in the area.


Alice: But he didn't say what he was attacked by!

[He doesn't have any obvious stab wounds. They look more like claws and teeth.]


Charlie: Mr. Adaar is quite right. We'd better find this animal at once. It's clearly terribly dangerous. Come, group!


[The party light up some torches and head out of the town. There is a clear trail of blood that they follow, and soon come across the scene of a crashed carriage.]


Austin : I guess it could have been a lion, escaped from a travelling circus our the likes?


Jerrick: The lion the prophecy mentions?


Charlie: Hm, possibly! [Approvingly] That certainly would clarify things in a tidy and efficient manner!


Alice: And that's not [stagily] fibbin'! [Looks confused] Hm. [Looks at the carriage] If it was an animal, how did it crash the carriage?

;;; Away for 1-2 hours!


Charlie: [Sensibly] Well, clearly it was being driven by someone else. Perhaps we should take a closer look at the carriage? [Goes to check out the crash]

;;; As am I!


Austin : [Takes a search around the carriage] I wonder what the Colonel is up to.


Dur: I hope you are not insinuating that he may have been involved here?From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with SMTP id kr9cs60002qcb; Mon, 9 May 2011 06:16:10 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with SMTP id b51mr2687017wer.60.1304946969981; Mon, 09 May 2011 06:16:09 -0700 (PDT) Return-Path: <djmalzie@gmail.com> Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id m28si16580286wej.38.2011.; Mon, 09 May 2011 06:16:09 -0700 (PDT) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of djmalzie@gmail.com) client-ip=; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of djmalzie@gmail.com) smtp.mail=djmalzie@gmail.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@gmail.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dc7e9190000>; Mon, 09 May 2011 14:16:09 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id p49DGAF5026931 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Mon, 9 May 2011 14:16:10 +0100 Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dc7e9180003>; Mon, 09 May 2011 14:16:08 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL5.ul.ie ( [] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Mon, 9 May 2011 14:13:49 +0100 Received: from mail-iy0-f181.google.com (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dc7e88c0001>; Mon, 09 May 2011 14:13:48 +0100 Received: by iyb26 with SMTP id 26so4827478iyb.26 for <conor.ryan@ul.ie>; Mon, 09 May 2011 06:15:18 -0700 (PDT) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc :content-type; bh=xNUU20ws39una2GxsmHLbdrbdaBxWyg+jhhw46BdB7c=; b=hgMfjK9YQ+k3PYbU/ktzZHa2r1fymR/0vaE2WqslXWYTk/uPD/FD9FFL81yIgCnCzp oYLEcqRoOSLJT6BKEpfGSV1Q6JWXZwhbW+yJZbNxsoQ/hH24jTnH4MYN6qK44pGPRVH9 /HHe6s/MsTOjlT9iMpeQadY3+sLQIk1G04HFEDomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc:content-type; b=HjcrrgwD934Vm2Adk4ekhbBZHBWSZp1vs/xJrXVMJN78rD71tfwIoq9kSgmRlOK91y JbFetuDvD4UtzwnQwvCJ5VCeH9E5j6hy/DRo3ua3kU1ckA/Wiv6p00EPHn8DpIs0a4tv pMlnNZ2SVKBF7hyUdoj10jbUy2lvVjZyQon68MIME-Version: 1.0 Received: by with SMTP id xo5mr5833755icb.71.1304946918262; Mon, 09 May 2011 06:15:18 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with HTTP; Mon, 9 May 2011 06:15:18 -0700 (PDT) Date: Mon, 9 May 2011 14:15:18 +0100 Message-ID: <BANLkTi=gMLOtfDUkhy+aZNEa2VG6vTKBPQ@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie>, John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 09 May 2011 13:13:49.0306 (UTC) FILETIME= [EF5C15A0:01CC0E4A]

Austin : [To Dur, dryly] No. That is a stupid suggestion.


Jerrick: Any sign of any lions? [Checks inside the carriage]


Alice: [To Austin] He's lion low. Himself, Jasmine and the kids went off on a big trip somewhere.

[JERRICK opens the door to the carriage to reveal that there are three bodies inside, all torn to pieces.]

Alice: Yikes! What the hell?


Dur: [Peeks inside] It's my medical opinion that these people are dead.From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with HTTP; Mon, 9 May 2011 06:56:08 -0700 (PDT) Date: Mon, 9 May 2011 14:56:08 +0100 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: AVI9TMI0nA3DrR9l8jfWKDkIjuc Message-ID: <BANLkTinQEgd5UNnXxxE0Ca4bmD734o=EZQ@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Alice: That's one smart lion, isn't it? Getting into the carriage and closing the door after he was done?


Dur: Perhaps it was a man that wanted to look like a lion...From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with SMTP id kr9cs61676qcb; Mon, 9 May 2011 07:02:04 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with SMTP id j49mr2823117wed.59.1304949723210; Mon, 09 May 2011 07:02:03 -0700 (PDT) Return-Path: <djmalzie@gmail.com> Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id s20si16627294wec.186.2011.; Mon, 09 May 2011 07:02:03 -0700 (PDT) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of djmalzie@gmail.com) client-ip=; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of djmalzie@gmail.com) smtp.mail=djmalzie@gmail.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@gmail.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dc7f3d90001>; Mon, 09 May 2011 15:02:01 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id p49E23S7027238 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Mon, 9 May 2011 15:02:03 +0100 Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dc7f3d90000>; Mon, 09 May 2011 15:02:01 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL5.ul.ie ( [] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Mon, 9 May 2011 15:00:30 +0100 Received: from mail-iw0-f181.google.com (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dc7f37e0000>; Mon, 09 May 2011 15:00:30 +0100 Received: by iwn38 with SMTP id 38so15098iwn.26 for <conor.ryan@ul.ie>; Mon, 09 May 2011 07:01:59 -0700 (PDT) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc :content-type; bh=BkqAtggdgcxDXT0f4YNIH9FvMVW0gEZqi6TQYoJ4Ob0=; b=pTGJWPrc1dxxPF3KGwpT5y/L0Lob8GADg6tQV+WjMPJ56nFZgAwiPxCp6LIL1s45Kg 6IiXch9j047wECmHVCHPSMIxU6QJ3ZB5RStzCFL/RTKs7C436n3Az1e7cRCChoaY0/BE OH9hlIagLg1J7qLnnhSJcz+gzkro8Bpp2JofYDomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc:content-type; b=OYgnsJxcwz4umGNGiMsTW5eYIkWVd6Z7k4yJ8BLNukg6nMPC6TKF0YFx8gyJm6y0BX b4YTnTNpcjg1cI7rPphxmIkl2hlvjoSiNqdGV0Tcbef/NlKAJ8NeYQJ7OLXX4w/n2a0o 7Y8d55Ie2NCVVJN+wF+mkqHKm7Zod9Y5ht6iEMIME-Version: 1.0 Received: by with SMTP id wo4mr5673495icb.406.1304949719839; Mon, 09 May 2011 07:01:59 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with HTTP; Mon, 9 May 2011 07:01:59 -0700 (PDT) Date: Mon, 9 May 2011 15:01:59 +0100 Message-ID: <BANLkTimO4P0scDcyfrBNrjMK_A75CF+CTw@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie>, John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 09 May 2011 14:00:31.0126 (UTC) FILETIME= [755FE360:01CC0E51]

Austin : Perhaps it was nothing to do with a lion, not someone dressed as a lion. [Slips on a marigold and checks the bodies for identification and anything else of interest]


[All the bodies have ID, but nothing of any particular interest. No one has any money, but this is common enough for these times.]

Alice: [Points at the windscreen, which is completely smashed] Isn't it weird that the windscreen looks like it's broken from the inside and not the outside?


Austin : Perhaps they were gestating some form of parisite, which bust out from the hosts once it had reached term. They or it tried to break out of the carriage in a pannick.


Dur: Or there was another person in the carriage that went mad and ripped their compatriots to shreds before escaping. [Searches for evidence of a mis= sing passenger] .From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with HTTP; Mon, 9 May 2011 07:16:58 -0700 (PDT) Date: Mon, 9 May 2011 15:16:58 +0100 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: ppdPkxY30xAtSSuN8bNu-2cmCCY Message-ID: <BANLkTi=VZfHLo6Y4ALKEHoDY3u+-p2aB2Q@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Alice: [To Austin] Ew!

Charlie: [To Austin] Fascinating theory! There are several references to such parasites in the Cryptozoology literature, but I wouldn't have thought there were any in our dimension.

Alice: [To Dur] I guess that guy who came into town covered in blood was with them, right?


Jerrick: [To Alice] Sure, so did he escape by smashing the window...?


Charlie: Or perhaps he was taken over by a hostile parasite and is now attacking innocent bystanders! [Muses] Though, to be fair, it would only be in his nature to do so, if that were the case.


Austin : [Looking around] Does anyone see any trails of blood or footprints leading away from here?


Alice: Just the one heading back towards the town.


Jerrick: There's the blood trail we followed on the way here... That guy back there didn't seem in any shape to attack anyone, though I guess if he was under the control of a parasite, and it's left his body now.... [Examines the side of the carriage for claw marks]


[Everyone pokes around the carriage, and, although there are clearly claw marks on the inside, there appear to be none on the outside.]


Charlie: [Worriedly] Perhaps we'd better go back to town and make sure no one else has been attacked by this creature! Follow me, group! [Follow the blood trail back to town]


Alice: Huh! Look at this. It's a really weird looking snail!

[ALICE is pointing at what appears to be a snail that's slightly large than normal, but which seems to have six legs.]

Alice: What is it?


Clint: Looks like a snail that's slightly larger than normal, but which seems to have six legs.

;;; Sorry all. Tradesman came and woke me up right in the middle of my

sleep cycle, and I'm a wreck as a result.


Austin : [Very cautiously looking at the snail] Perhaps that is what killed those people. Try not to anger it.


Clint: It's a snail of some sort! Can it even get angry? [Pauses.] We need to find some way of containing it, like a big glass jar or something. With airholes. [Defensively.] Even parasitic footsnails need to breathe!


Alice: No way did it kill those people -- it's so cute!


Charlie: Well, it does have a rather nasty-looking claw, though it doesn't look bloody. Perhaps it isn't the culprit? [Gingerly touches the snail with the tip of her shoe]


Jerrick: What happened to not angering it?


Clint: Well, it's not like she kicked it. More like... gave it an opportunity to infect her shoe with some sort of strange parasitic goop.


Charlie: It's highly unlikely that an infection could be passed through shoe leather! And, in any case, did it rip through those people and then give itself a nice manicure? There's no blood on the claws.


Austin : Perhaps it is a baby, and it's mother is close by? [Looks around nervously]


Jerrick: I get the feeling the mother would have come to protect her young if that were the case. But let's take a look around anyway. Clearly something did this, so we should find out what.


Clint: Maybe it just wiped its feet on something?


Alice: How will we know?

[The snail reaches up with one of its claws and slashes through CHARLIE's foot.]

;;; Charlie lose 7hp and a nice shoe.


Charlie: [Leaps backward, shaking her foot frantically] Kill it! Kill it!


Jerrick: On the other hand.... [Attempts an overhead chop onto the snail's back with his sword]


Clint: What ever happened to not making the snail angry? [Carefully, and regretfully, tries to separate the snail from its feet, with his sword.]

;;; Oooh, Charlie's gonna have a parasite!


Charlie: [Kicks her shoe off and hops over to the snail on one foot, sword out] Is it dead? Watch out for its blood, just in case it is infectious!

;;; I know, and that's probably on top of all kinds of

;;; demonic STDs that are surely lurking!


Austin : [Jumps back then shoots the evil snail claw beast] Kill it!


[The snail leaps into the air and wraps its claws around CLINT's neck, drawing blood.]

;;; Lose 5hp Clint

Alice: Careful! That snail moves faster than you might think!


Austin : [Tries to shoot the snail again] Save Mr Scar!


[AUSTIN fires, and just barely misses both CLINT and the snail, sending the bullet ricocheting around the carriage. The snail maintains its grip.]

;;; Lose 10hp Clint

Alice: Here's how to kill a snail. [Takes off her shoe] You squash it! That way we won't hurt Clint! [Looks at the six inch spiked heel] Hm, maybe someone with less exciting shoes. Charlie?


Jerrick: [Bashes at the snail's back with the pommel of his sword] I'm sure snails are usually easier to kill than this!


Charlie: [Attacks the snail with her sword. To Alice] I don't think my shoes can hurt it, given that it made such short work of the last one!

;;; Out for an hour or so!


[JERRICK smashes the snail with the hilt of his sword, and it lets go, whereupon CHARLIE slashes it and AUSTIN shoots it. Finally, ALICE spikes it with her shoe.]

Alice: Hurrah!


Mac: Good work guys [carefully checks to make sure the goo is definitely dead] . I wonder if there's more around somewhere? And where did this one come from?

;;; Sorry for the protracted absence.


Alice: Has anyone ever seen anything like it before?

Charlie: [Nursing her foot] It certainly doesn't seem to be from our world. I think we need to do some research into what it is.

;;; No probs, good to have you back!


Jerrick: Are there any decent books on random crazy snails that try to kill people?


Charlie: [Big smile] Not yet!


Alice: If it didn't come from our world, where did it come from?


Charlie: [Frowns] Weren't there quite a number of demons in Clementine's original dimension? Could she have inadvertently brought some along with her?

;;; Am I remembering that right, Conor, or

;;; was that yet another dimension??


Alice: Maybe, but she's been here for thousands of years, stuck in that hill, so probably not.

[The party hear a voice approaching. It is DATT MAMON.]

Datt: Hello? Is everyone okay? [Appears at the door of the carriage] Wow! What happened?

;;; Almost right!


Dur: Just business as usual I'm afraid. [Checks Clint's wounds, casting a healing spell] . Who are you good fellow?


Charlie: [Fishing a spare shoe out of her bag. To Datt] Do be careful around here! We just encountered a vicious creature, and there could be more of them about.


Datt: Oh, you poor people! I hope you're all okay. [Looks at the bodies] Did the creature kill them?


Jerrick: We assume so. We got here after this occurred so we didn't see exactly what happened here.


Datt: Wow. That's harsh. [Looks at Clint and Charlie] I hope you guys weren't attacked!


Charlie: I'm afraid we were, but luckily our group was able to overpower the creature. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name?


Datt: Datt Mamon, I sure am pleased to meet you all! I'm on my way to Queens View. Say... would you mind if I took a look at the creature? Professional curiosity.


Charlie: [Delighted] Oh, are you a scientist? Perhaps you know my work! [Offers a hand] Dr. Charlotte Parker-Kensington, cryptozoologist, [modestly] amo= ng other things.From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with HTTP; Tue, 10 May 2011 07:00:12 -0700 (PDT) Date: Tue, 10 May 2011 15:00:12 +0100 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: KUFjdcPHWLtgZP7t4u67n6e8QPo Message-ID: <BANLkTin0e9yFWM5b=TbGLCMrvfJjkL=tVQ@mail.gmail.com> To: Heather Goggans <heather.goggans@gmail.com> Cc: John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, TomHenderson <th4@rice.edu>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Datt: Wow! *The* Dr. Parker-Kensington? [Shakes her hand] What a pleasure! I guess you got the call too, right? [Smiles at the others] Are you all scientists too?

Alice: No, but my boyfriend is. And he has a really big penis!

Datt: [Good naturedly] Good for him!


Jerrick: What exactly do you mean when you say "call"? We all had a dream about a dove in flames - is that what you mean?


Datt: Nope, I got a nice letter in the post, asking me to come to Queens View. A lot of naturalists and botanists got the call.

Alice: Naked people who like bottoms? This sounds like my kind of meeting!


Charlie: [Disappointed] No, I didn't receive an invitation, but it sounds positively divine. Could I join you as a guest? I dabble a bit in cryptobotany, so perhaps I could make some small contribution to the discussion. [To the party] Isn't this a marvelous piece of luck?! [Sighs dreamily] I haven't been to a conference in ages.


Datt: I bet your invitation arrived after you'd left home. You're all welcome to come along, but first, could I see this creature?


Jerrick: Sure, but don't take too long - Charlie wants to go see some bottomists.


Mac: Charlie, not wanting to spoil things at all, and I'm sure it would be erm, fascinating, but don't we have more pressing issues than a conference?


Dur: If they have a convention investigating disturbances such as this slug, it may be exactly what we need to check out.=20

;;; In a meeting for about an hour.From qvblogger

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Charlie: [To Mac, in a low voice] I don't know, with all of this talk of lions and doves, I thought perhaps a gathering of naturalists might be a good place to start, no? [To Datt] What did your invitation say? This isn't a regularly scheduled conference, it would appear?


Mac: [To Charlie, In an equally low voice] Possibly, but I though they would be metaphors though, and thus these could be the wrong academics we need to consult. You have more knowledge in these areas than me though, so I defer to your judgement.


Charlie: [To Mac, wistfully] Yes, I suppose you are right. [To Datt] Thank you for your kind invitation, but I'm afraid we have pressing business to attend. Do take a look at this creature [pointing to the dead slug monster] before we part ways, though, and tell me if you've ever seen such a thing! And do tell me a bit about this conference. Who is sponsoring it? What are the aims? Do you have a copy of the CFP?


Jerrick: And if you want to collect samples, I'm sure Mac and Dur will help you out!


Mac: I don't think so, sailor boy.


Datt: It's not so much a conference as a meeting. I'm not sure what about yet, but it wasn't scheduled or anything. [Takes a look at the slug] Huh! I don't think that's what did all this damage.


Jerrick: You sure? It latched onto Clint here pretty good, and took a chunk out of Charlie's foot.


Charlie: [To Datt] He's right. What makes you think the creature didn't kill the others?


Datt: [Laughs, but stops when he sees that the party are serious] Oh. Really? That's very surprising. This is a Spikey Demon, one of the weakest kinds of demon in existence.


Jerrick: Well, this one seems to have been pumping some iron. Here's a worrying thought though - if that's the weakest, what's the strongest like?


Dur: And what's a demon slug doing crawling around here in a time of Bliss anyway?=


Datt: [Thinks for a moment] Good questions. [Thinks again] Very good questions. [Thinks some more] Yeah. All very good questions.


Charlie: [Enviously] Oh, do you know much about demonology? I have recently grown quite interested in the field, and in fact I anticipate making it my research focus going forward.


Clint: Say, Datt... how do those things reproduce, anyway? They don't, say, deposit little demon eggs in your neck when they try and rip your head off, by any chance?


Datt: [Laughs] Oh no, nothing like that. They first put them in a little sac, and, once they've been fertilized, then they try to deposit it in your neck.


Clint: I see. Guess I'm gonna have a baby or something.


Jerrick: Congratulations! Maybe you and Charlie can organise a playdate or something!


Clint: With the snail thing that's going to come bursting out of my chest in a... say, how long do I have?

;;; I think Clint would make an excellent father, personally. *Shudder*


Mac: Seems we need to get our friend to a *qualified* surgeon A.S.A.P.


Charlie: [Claps her hands, delighted] Oh, Mr. Scar! You're going to love fatherhood. It will enrich your life beyond measure. [Flips open a day planner and starts scanning through it] Let me get you the name of the company that made our refrigerator magnets, etc. . . .


[DUR makes to say something, but stops at MAC's words.]

Datt: Nah, you'll be fine. They take on a bright pink colour when fertilized. As long as you didn't see that, you're in no danger. I'm more concerned about how it was even able to hurt you. Their claws shouldn't be sharp enough to break skin.


Charlie: Where have you seen these creatures before?


Datt: Only in books. They come from another dimension, but I would have thought that they were too puny to be able to travel between dimensions.


Charlie: [Intrigued] Another dimension? How interesting. How on earth DID it get here? [To the party] Perhaps we really should tag along to this meeting of naturalists and see what they think of this. If there is an infestations of these creatures, it really must be seen to at once!


Jerrick: Maybe they'll have reports of other creatures. Let's go then. Lead the way, Datt.


Charlie: [Excited] Splendid! [To Mac and Jerrick] You two are in for such a treat! The rest of the group was fortunate enough to accompany me to a conference some time ago, and they can tell you what fun we had! [To Jerrick, in a lower voice] And don't worry, Mr. Adaar, I shall help you with the more difficult words and concepts, so there is no need to feel anxious or intimidated.


Alice: It was great -- Deuce beat up Pestilence!


Austin : Yes, a real treat, a poorly ventilated room full of geeky unwashed cardigan wearing bug collectors, with naught to drink but weak lemon juice, and conversations about snails. [Rools his eyes]


Jerrick: [To Charlie, raising an eyebrow] Sure, thanks - if you have time between showing all the bottomists your underwear that is. I wouldn't want to interrupt your... hobbies just because of my poor intellect.


Jerrick: [Produces his flask with a grin, then takes a swig] Who says there's nothing to drink but lemonade?


Alice: Don't worry, Jerrick, not everyone can be a scientist like me and Charlie!


Alice: [Whispers to Jerrick] That was Austin!

[Exit ALL, heading back towards Queens View.]

;;; End of scene, next one coming right up


Charlie: [To Alice] First of all, no one beat anyone up at that conference. There was a brief misunderstanding involving an attempt on Pestilence's part to stab Deuce through the heart, but that was all sorted out and now they are friends. Second, that minor bit of rough-housing was not the excitement to which I was referring, rather the thrill of the exchange of ideas among peers! [To Jerrick, with a sniff] And I do hope someday you will be able to stop thinking about my underwear. I am, after all, both a married woman AND a mother. It is highly inappropriate for you to show me such attention.


Alice: [Nods] True, it's not like she's YOUR mother, Jerrick. [Thinks for a moment, and then gets flustered] Er, let's get going!


Charlie: Right! [To Datt] Take us to your meeting, if you please. [To the party, gleefully] Come along, group!


Mac: [Pleased] It will be nice to be amongst intellectuals again.


[Book VIII, Act X, Scene III. Queens View. ALICE, AUSTIN, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR, JERRICK, MAC and DATT are here, having just arrived back. It is now very late at night, well after midnight.]

Datt: Well, I guess the meeting won't start until tomorrow. What do you say, new friends? Can I stay with you?

;;; The party can now treat each other the way they

;;; always did. However, although the Bliss is clearly

;;; slipping away, they will still be unusually tolerant

;;; of non party members.


Mac: Sure thing Datt.


Charlie: [Happily] I couldn't sleep a wink, I'm so excited about the meeting! [To Datt] Perhaps we could stay up and chat about your work? I should like to hear all about it, and no doubt Mac would like to join us.


Datt: You got it! I wrote THE book on miniature slug demons. They are super cool. They are terribly evil, but are so weak that they can't hurt people.

Alice: Other than Clint and those people back in the carriage?

Datt: Uh, yeah, I suppose.

;;; Gone for 2 hours!


Mac: I would indeed be most interested in learning about these slugs. Perhaps we could retire to a more comfortable setting to discuss them without disturbing our colleagues, [quietly to Charlie] and without having to listen to their snide comments?


Jerrick: [Pretending to be shocked] Mac, I have no idea to what you refer!


Charlie: [To Mac, giving Jerrick a pointed look] Not to worry, I suspect most of them will be intoxicated and snoring within the hour, and we will be left in peace!


Jerrick: [Smiling approvingly] Now that sounds like a plan! Do we have any more booze around here? This small flask [He holds up his flask which is quite large] won't see me through tonight and tomorrow - 'specially not if there's ... scientist-talk going on.


Austin : Surely heavy drinking is not condusive to science?


Jerrick: [Winks at Austin] Depends on the type of science


Charlie: [To Jerrick, unimpressed] If you are referring to applied sexology, yours is a common misconception. Studies show that intoxication lowers the sexual completion rate by 23%, and the decrease in reported sexual satisfaction is far more alarming than that, as high as 47% in some categories! Though, to be fair, intoxication does improve the overall chance of the spontaneous initiation of a sex act, so you are not entirely incorrect. Only mostly.


Austin : [Ponders] Ahh, bad science. I see. Any excuse for an all expenses paid booze up!


Dur: [Eyes already glazing over with boredom] Awwwwwww. She's doing it again!=


Jerrick: [To Austin] That's the spirit! [To Charlie] I would think taking part in that kind of study lowers both the initiation and completion rates. Though of course, sexology is very much your field, is it not?


Charlie: [To Jerrick, patiently] No, my area of expertise is cryptozoology, though I have a great and growing interest in demonology. [To Dur] Someone must take responsibility for correcting the spread of false information!


Dur: Maybe so, but enlightening all of us is hardly the way to do that as we will likely spread misinformation anyway. All we hear is bla, blah, blah,= yakkity yak!From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with SMTP id kr9cs28614qcb; Wed, 11 May 2011 06:23:37 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with SMTP id l47mr467851wee.78.1305120214463; Wed, 11 May 2011 06:23:34 -0700 (PDT) Return-Path: <velangelus1@gmail.com> Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id e7si351640wer.165.2011.; Wed, 11 May 2011 06:23:34 -0700 (PDT) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of velangelus1@gmail.com) client-ip=; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of velangelus1@gmail.com) smtp.mail=velangelus1@gmail.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@gmail.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dca8dd50000>; Wed, 11 May 2011 14:23:33 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id p4BDNYcJ029092 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Wed, 11 May 2011 14:23:34 +0100 Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dca8dd30008>; Wed, 11 May 2011 14:23:31 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL5.ul.ie ( [] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Wed, 11 May 2011 14:22:10 +0100 Received: from mail-ww0-f45.google.com (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dca8d820000>; Wed, 11 May 2011 14:22:10 +0100 Received: by wwi36 with SMTP id 36so454582wwi.14 for <conor.ryan@ul.ie>; Wed, 11 May 2011 06:23:19 -0700 (PDT) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:message-id:date:from:user-agent:mime-version:to :cc:subject:references:in-reply-to:content-type :content-transfer-encoding:x-antivirus:x-antivirus-status; bh=As8ZMKShv7sQjgQbew07bN7eHdO9a2fsefPxbTaTAUg=; b=tKExMkNa2aX1oA80g6fpoRiEMUAC/jxD1qKfKkFFNjVGyM9cJ5upiAqCxSE52BIZ5D whGXbyDK0B/5bw63LJ55FYA+vYcklZFrjXFd0b+ZIidC9Dj3oODEAh3S7AmcmN/Gw0by nM+l8IpCR3X0wxpkJh2S9nQzEyGri/wuc7OwIDomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=message-id:date:from:user-agent:mime-version:to:cc:subject :references:in-reply-to:content-type:content-transfer-encoding :x-antivirus:x-antivirus-status; b=MBIxtJy3N8DaNehzVyAYVzWYe/L3VSffNsIUFhMrfh+cPu1n4ZiZcf3nGdwGQsQb1R 1t3ZIqtl59wVZfPCsF6R/Ur02cZA8ZvZXatLcqCkSTdoCfbIiEBLVXJXi8U6pMUdQUje 8lcRbr+sD8TCczHRbxLe9ZREklydUItbXLl54Received: by with SMTP id gg1mr6847538wbb.65.1305120199818; Wed, 11 May 2011 06:23:19 -0700 (PDT) Received: from [] (cpc5-hitc6-2-0-cust74.9-2.cable.virginmedia.com [] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTPS id z9sm96651wbx.51.2011. (version=SSLv3 cipher=OTHER); Wed, 11 May 2011 06:23:18 -0700 (PDT) Message-ID: <4DCA8DC4.3020005@gmail.com> Date: Wed, 11 May 2011 14:23:16 +0100 User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.1; en-GB; rv: Gecko/20110414 Lightning/1.0b2 Thunderbird/3.1.10 MIME-Version: 1.0 To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> CC: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> References: <BANLkTinriiYgY+1TOBj4LmP3RpK4hZv7Sg@mail.gmail.com> <B96870A1BA16904491A1E702A34C176907C75A7511@GRPMMIRVG701.grouphc.net> In-Reply-To: <B96870A1BA16904491A1E702A34C176907C75A7511@GRPMMIRVG701.grouphc.net> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Antivirus: avast! (VPS 110511-0, 11/05/2011), Outbound message X-Antivirus-Status: Clean X-OriginalArrivalTime: 11 May 2011 13:22:10.0801 (UTC) FILETIME= [6F19A610:01CC0FDE]

Mac: Well then perhaps you should pay better attention!

;;; Gone for an hour or so.


Alice: Huh? What did he say after yakkity?


Austin : [To Alice] Does it matter? I don't believe that anyone cares.


Alice: Of course it matters! The less people care about something the more it matters -- don't you know anything about academics! [Spots something in the corner] Hey! There's something in the corner, watching us!


Charlie: [Pulls out her sword and approaches the corner] Not another snail?! Watch your neck, Mr. Scar!


Jerrick: It's not one of your scientists is it? [Reaches for his sword]


Mac: Whatever it is it had better have a damn good reason for being here! [Approaches cautiously behind JERRICK and CHARLIE]


;;; That's weird. I got Tony's mail BEFORE Heather's

;;; and John's!

[Everyone approaches slowly, and soon spot the creature. It is about two inches high and looks like a cross between a cute snail and a delightful fluffy bunny.]

Alice: Aw! He's so cuuuuute!


Mac: Watch out! It could be as dangerous as the demon snail. [Calling over his shoulder] Datt, do you have any idea what it is?


Charlie: [Keeping her sword ready. To Datt] Yes, and what dimension is home to all of these slugs?! We certainly seem to have an infestation of them.


Jerrick: Or what's the deal with all the snails? I mean, why snails?


Datt: I think they're both from Bardus, which is supposed to be the nearest dimension to ours. I have no idea how they got here, though. It isn't really easy for them to travel across vast distances.

Alice: Why? Something to do with the pan-dimensional properties of string theory, I suppose?

Datt: No, because they're snails.


Charlie: [Watching the fuzzy snail warily] Well, I don't wish to kill an innocent creature, and it doesn't seem intent upon attacking us. Let us try to trap it in a box or something and try to ascertain its nature from observation and testing.


Jerrick: You'd subject an innocent creature to that but not an evil one? [To the snail] If you ask really nicely, I'll kill you instead of letting the mean nasty scientist get a hold of you.


Austin : Be very very cautious. I my extensive experience, the most innocent looking demons are the worst and most dangerous.


[The BUNNY SLUG looks at JERRICK and appears to throw up. However, it comes out like a power hose and strikes him in the chest, knocking him across the room.]


Clint: Witness coeds!


Jerrick: [Picking himself up off the floor] I said ask nicely!


Charlie: [To Jerrick, smugly] And THAT's what comes of that tree-hugging nonsense! Animals were MEANT to be studied in labs. [Attacks the snail]


[Everyone charges at the snail, who responds with more projectile vomiting, which results in ALICE and DUR being knocked across the room. Each of JERRICK and CHARLIE get a hit in on the snail, and it is soon dead.]

Datt: Wow! That was amazing! What is making these harmless demons so strong?


Charlie: I cannot imagine, but I wonder how many more of them are lurking about! Group, we'd better check this room carefully before resting for the night. [Looks at the vomit puddles in disgust. To Dur] And do tidy the place up a bit, won't you?


Clint: [Confused.] It's got to have something to do with the bliss and all, right? I mean, the timing can't be a coincidence, can it? But what do a bunch of invertebrates - slugs, snails, lawyers, that sort of thing - care about whether people are happy? [Pauses.] Not, uh, that there's anything wrong with that?


Jerrick: You forgot to mention scientists - there seems to be a few of those about as well


Alice: And flashers! Although, I suppose there's a lot of overlap between those two groups.

Datt: Well, I'm going to find myself a bed, if you don't mind. I've got that meeting tomorrow.

[Exit DATT, into the first room he finds.]

Alice: So. We almost just got killed by a slug and a snail. That's kinda weird, isn't it?


Clint: Could something Clementine is doing be somehow making the slugs and snails stronger? Say, taking all the aggression and hostility from this dimension and dumping it into the next one over, something like that?


Charlie: That's quite an interesting theory, Mr. Scar! [Worried] If you're correct, this is likely only the beginning. If these are normally harmless creatures, I shouldn't like to encounter a creature that it normally hostile!


Mac: Indeed, and if she is behind this then it would certainly explain why we would want to fulfil the prophecy.


Clint: On the other hand, if it was my idea it's probably wrong, so hey, the universe is saved!


Charlie: You ARE sometimes right, though. [To the group] For what it's worth, I can attest that Pestilence has certainly NOT been more hostile or aggressive--and in fact has been an absolute delight--though he is unaffected by the Bliss. So, if there has been a sort of overspill of hostility, it does not seem to affect [delicately] creatures from our dimension. Based on a very small sample. Has there been, then, a deliberate redirecting to this Bardus dimension? We must learn more about it, and see if there is some significance to this place!


Clint: Right. To the science convention! Maybe one of those people knows something about Bardus or something else useful like that. [Defensively.] Stranger things have happened.


Alice: You mean things like there being a convention that starts at 2AM? Maybe it's just that Bardus is the closest one, like that Datt said.


Charlie: [To Clint, looking at her watch] Yes, there's no need to go just yet, so perhaps we can all get a bit of sleep first? No doubt my fellow scientists will be able to shed light on these extraordinary occurrences!


Clint: But the night is still young! Anyway, everyone knows scientists are hip, trendy types who stay up at all hours.


Charlie: [Flattered] Oh, indeed! At the 18th Annual Taxonomies and Controlled Vocabularies Conference, [aside] you no doubt remember I was nominated for Best Paper at that particular conference, a big group of us stayed up until dawn, sipping decaffeinated tea and arguing viciously about various fringe theories. What a night!


Jerrick: Sounds like some of the evenings, or mornings, I've had. If you, of course, replace the decaffeinated tea with the strongest whiskey you can find, and the arguing about fringe theories with arguing about which of the various available whores have the nicest breasts.


Mac: [Sarcastically to Jerrick] Nice to see that you put so much effort into helping. [To no one in particular] Why is he here again?


Austin : [Deadpan] Why, what a load of party animals you are. I rather fancy a good nights sleep. [Checks out the rooms]


Charlie: [To Mac] Now, be fair. Everyone, even the depraved [nods at Jerrick] , should cultivate hobbies. And Mr. Adaar has proven himself an asset in combat and does offer useful opinions from time to time. But we cannot hold him to same intellectual standard we hold ourselves. It simply isn't fair.


Clint: Much like we can't hold Mac to the same standards of personal bravery that we would hold a more... manly man to. Like Dur.


Alice: I try to, but he's just so... weird. No offence, Dur.


Jerrick: [To Clint] Of course, we do know that when Mac is at our backs we're perfectly safe - because he'd never stand anywhere there is an ounce of danger.


Alice: Maybe we should put him at the front when there's a fight!

;;; Gone for 1-2 hours!


Charlie: [To Clint and Jerrick] He isn't the seasoned adventurer we thought he was, and it will take time for him to get used to the rush of battle, etc. But he IS improving, and quite steadily. [To Mac, frowning] Though it really wasn't very nice of you to LIE to us about your identity, you must admit!

;;; Me, too!


Austin : [Casually checking his nails] But does it really make any difference?


nd I'd be killed!

Alice: Come on, guys, he already told us all this last month. There's no point in giving him a hard time now, even though it's fun!=


Charlie: [To Austin] I suppose not, but it doesn't establish a particularly good precedent in terms of honesty and such. [To Mac] No more lies. We must be able to trust one another!


Jerick: [To Alice] That *is* the point - it amuses us! [To Charlie] Trust one another eh? [Eyes, Mac, Dur and Austin critically] We're screwed.


Austin : [To Mac] No more lies tio us, that is, you may feel free to use your jugement when lieing to others.


Charlie: [To Jerrick] They are taking a chance and trusting YOU as well, you know. Need I remind you, you are a new addition to the group? [Claps her hands briskly] Now, let us go to bed and cease this bickering at once.


Alice: No, no, no, NO! We should cease the bickering at once and THEN go tobed!


Austin : Good night [Slips into the best room, closes the door behind him, then sprays a little cologne around to freshen it up]


Mac: Good night all. [Looks carefully around his room for anything that looks like a snail demon]


Dur: Perhaps someone should keep watch during the night, just in case?From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with HTTP; Thu, 12 May 2011 06:20:02 -0700 (PDT) Date: Thu, 12 May 2011 14:20:02 +0100 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: MyDkU6nnR9_Mj-MK_i9CvuOCrSc Message-ID: <BANLkTi=qrM9E=uMoWbQ=XXXbA0SAteyPow@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Alice: Nah, I'll just put some salt around the door.

[Exit ALL, to bed.]

;;; End of scene, next one coming right up


[Book VII, Act X, Scene IV. The Kitchen. ALICE, AUSTIN, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR, JERRICK and MAC are here, along with DATT, who has made breakfast for everyone.]

Datt: [Putting a large tray on the table, which is covered by an extravagant looking silver dish] Ta-da! I whipped up something very special!


Dur: [Crossing his fingers] Please don't be escargot!=20


Datt: Of course it's not -- it's Escargot Lapin!

[DATT dramatically lifts the lid, to reveal a baked Bunny Slug.]


Jerrick: [Clearly hungover] I don't think so. Can we order out - I want some real food!


Mac: Wow... erm, thank you. That looks er... different.


Charlie: [Looks skeptically at the baked bunny slug] Why, thank you! Er, I'll just have a bit of toast, I think. Wouldn't want to start the day with anything too, uh, rich.


Datt: Sure thing! [Hands out a plate of toast that has been cut into bunny shapes]

Alice: Do you have anything that doesn't resemble a bunny?

Datt: Hm, maybe some hare pie?

Alice: Hair pie? That's one of my favourites!

Datt: No, it's HARE pie.

Alice: [Disappointed] Aw!

;;; Gone for an hour


Jerrick: [Grumpily takes a slice of toast] Not sure I want to eat anything that's recently vomited on me.


Austin : [Frowning to Jerrick] I don't think that waiting a few weeks will improve it's gastronomic appeal at all. [Smirks]


Jerrick: Why don't you try it out and let me know? Out of intellectual curiosity, and so on.


Alice: [Munching on some toast] Actually, it's not all that bad! Of course, we probably should check out this meeting.


Jerrick: I suppose. [Collects his flask, suspiciously full again]


Charlie: [Nibbling at a piece of bunny toast] Yes, I am quite eager to get to this meeting, so do let's dash. [To Dur] You can bring some toast to go.


Clint: I think I'll save the slug for Dur. He so rarely gets fresh meat!


Charlie: [Wrinkles her nose at Dur] Er, splendid! Now that we have appeased your alarming hunger, let us be off. [To Datt] Where is this conference? Please take us there at once.


Datt: [Excitedly] Let's do some science!

[Everyone leaves and heads across to the mayor's house, in which JOE NUNPAR had been residing when the party stole his treasure stash. There are a number of people standing around outside it, all looking very distraught. This is extremely unusual in this time of bliss. One of them is BERNARD MACBERNIE, that the party met the previous night.]

Alice: Uh oh! This can't be good!


Charlie: [To Bernard] Hello again! What's the matter? Everyone seems quite unhappy!


Bernard: I think there's been some sort of attack, in the mayor's house -- people are dead!


Clint: Can't say I'm surprised. Is there by any chance a strange looking slug or snail or something like that in there?


Jerrick: Why don't we take a look inside?


Bernard: Best not to, the police are in there. I don't know what happened there, but Don, the man we found last night, said he was in a carriage that was attacked by a snail!

[Enter JACK HAMMER, a police officer/stripper. Since the Bliss started, there is no police. However, many strippers, keen to do a more responsible job in this new time of understanding, stepped into the role in times of emergency. JACK HAMMER is one of those.]

Jack: Uh, hi folks. There seems to have been some sort of attack last night. We think it was some sort of wild, savage animal.


Charlie: [To Jack] Have you a description of the animal?


Clint: [Nods.] A bunny slug, probably. Well known for being vicious beasts.


Jack: No, no one has a clue what could have done it.

Alice: Easy, Clint. Don't go jumping to conclusions. There's nothing to suggest that it was a bunny slug.

[Enter OFFICER CHERYSH, a busty looking cop in stripper clothes with a bunch bunny slugs attached to her face and body.]

Cherysh: Help! Get them off me!


Jerrick: [Gestures to the embattled officer] That might.


Alice: Sure. To the untrained eye.


Clint: The beasts! Attacking a helpless strippercop! [Goes to try to detach the bunny slugs.]


Mac: We need to do something! [MAC casts Gust of Wind (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/gustOfWind.htm) attempting to blow the creatures off OFFICER CHERYSH]


Jerrick: Keep an eye out for any more! [Joins Clint in assisting the strippercop]


Charlie: [Goes to help Clint and Jerrick, calling out to the crowd] Do stay clear of these slugs! They are quite horrid, no matter how cuddly they may seem!


[The party move in, just behind MAC's spell, which knocks most of the slugs off. Before long, the party have knocked off the rest. Cherysh is alive, but badly hurt.]

Alice: Phew! Another case solved by the Queens View Party! [Looks around to see the crowds who had gathered to watch running around screaming in panic]


Austin : [Looking at the bunny snails, slingshot at the ready] Are they all dead?


Alice: Uh, no, about half of them are alive, and they are pretty angry! [Swings at a passing bunny, lopping off one of its ears]


Charlie: Quickly, group! Stop them before they spread further into the town. [Attack the slug bunnies]


Austin : [Shoots any live bunny snail demon, edgy] Kill them! Kill them all!


Clint: Right. Doc, run and get us a big bag of salt while the rest of us get your dinner ready! [Attacks the nearest blug, sticking suspiciously close to Officer Cherysh.]


Alice: Yeeeha! [Slices a bunny in two]

[The party lay into the slugs, easily killing any they hit.]

;;; Gone for 1.5 hours!


Jerrick: [Calls after Dur] A *really* big bag of salt!


Austin : Well why don't you be a good boy and pop of to the shops and get some. Do you thinkyou can manage that?

;;;;out for the rest od the day!


Charlie: Do be serious! We aren't going to split the party. Keep fighting this horrid little things. We have the upper hand!


Jerrick: What, and leave you to wipe your own backside, pretty boy? How would you manage? [Chops at a slug]


Dur: [Pulling his dagger and joining the fray] Ok. I think something peculiar is DEFINITELY going on.


Alice: Keep going, guys! Don't stop until we're knee deep in slug ears!

[The fight is going well, but one of the slug bunnies leaps onto CHARLIE's back. Before she has a chance to react, however, it is shot off. The arrow seems to have come from STINKIN LINCOLN, who seemed to be watching the party back in Book VII, Act VIII.]


Charlie: [Calls out] Thank you! [Does a double-take when she sees Lincoln] Wait, who are you?!


Lincoln: [Unhappy at being spotted] A friend. [Starts walking backwards]


Charlie: [To Lincoln] Stop! How long have you been following us? [To the party] Don't let him get away, group!


Jerrick: [Nods] Well, thanks for the help, friend. [Swipes at the nearest slug]


Dur: [Turns to Lincoln and casts Hold Person [http://dungeons.wikia.com/wiki/SRD:Hold_Person] Sorry 'friend' now is a time for answers and not simply = more questions.From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with HTTP; Fri, 13 May 2011 06:17:50 -0700 (PDT) Date: Fri, 13 May 2011 14:17:50 +0100 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: IsJnhztPik3m5_Mt61WUJqR1hd4 Message-ID: <BANLkTi=w9eDSL-Pz14D0t44J+LmP3J_R6Q@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Stinkin: [Still backing away] Look, I know you're curious, but it's enough to know that -- [stops, paralyzed]

[The rest of the party seem to have the slug bunny problem under control.]


Charlie: Thank you, Dur! [To Lincoln] Now, who ARE you? Why are you following us?


[LINCOLN is frozen solid, and says nothing.]

Alice: Huh. Being coy, eh?


Dur: Sorry. I must not know my own strength. Perhaps we should tie him up and hold him until it wears off?=


Charlie: How awkward! We really haven't time to dawdle. [To Dur, glancing at her watch] How long will he be frozen like this? [Hesitates] Perhaps I should check his pockets for identification, though he DID help us just now so that doesn't seem entirely fair.


Jerrick: I wonder why he tried to run off though?


Alice: I guess we'll never know!

[The spell is starting to wear off, and STINKIN is starting to move, although very slowly.]


Dur: You mean unless we grab him now and ask him?From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with SMTP id r16cs49376qca; Fri, 13 May 2011 06:50:17 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with SMTP id el14mr1478583wbb.90.1305294616438; Fri, 13 May 2011 06:50:16 -0700 (PDT) Return-Path: <heather.goggans@gmail.com> Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id j14si5183352wbc.117.2011.; Fri, 13 May 2011 06:50:16 -0700 (PDT) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of heather.goggans@gmail.com) client-ip=; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of heather.goggans@gmail.com) smtp.mail=heather.goggans@gmail.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@gmail.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dcd37170001>; Fri, 13 May 2011 14:50:15 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id p4DDoGTI000874 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Fri, 13 May 2011 14:50:16 +0100 Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dcd37170000>; Fri, 13 May 2011 14:50:15 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL5.ul.ie ( [] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Fri, 13 May 2011 14:48:59 +0100 Received: from mail-yi0-f53.google.com (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dcd36cb0000>; Fri, 13 May 2011 14:48:59 +0100 Received: by yia25 with SMTP id 25so948158yia.26 for <conor.ryan@ul.ie>; Fri, 13 May 2011 06:50:08 -0700 (PDT) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc :content-type:content-transfer-encoding; bh=9sDxI6HAVoWnSKkaxnY57CYZ5a4ZusahUCDEkLW5xR8=; b=LGI+9ucRAGpEnLdNHk9jmobckAHsCUjxo7nrEykGPO6raDFmscnp/uSKdX8h9DMiUQ ZMSZc/JmAj7TBBEXEcr1TPFtnBGCT2RnLupwlovBfGNcsUj67GkfgXA9P2NYLVwsVZT1 1/y8w+dWhcViL1eGY8qCmBfaUqgmZjRedrZiwDomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc:content-type :content-transfer-encoding; b=mJ863qkOmtxhZbJftrpXtbxd6ATr+4lJ17rAHh4bTrcyv+GVcOhF/27/M/LSh6Vc40 qgTAGjnqLc7MP4JurYsFQd/sqdXGHDRW16aaveY6jOfwpt7azQ2NthjJ//UAlR7Qe69v 20ZY4JYU6d+sKjjfyW7R6DyYUAP2/WE4sc7p8MIME-Version: 1.0 Received: by with SMTP id t23mr1427234agk.81.1305294608483; Fri, 13 May 2011 06:50:08 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with HTTP; Fri, 13 May 2011 06:50:08 -0700 (PDT) Date: Fri, 13 May 2011 14:50:08 +0100 Message-ID: <BANLkTinw5=83Cd7hCp-tc3-uvAbGqyS0bg@mail.gmail.com> To: Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie> Cc: John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable X-OriginalArrivalTime: 13 May 2011 13:48:59.0596 (UTC) FILETIME= [82D7C8C0:01CC1174]

Charlie: [To Jerrick and Clint] Stay close to him, just in case he tries to run once the spell wears off! [To Lincoln] Can you speak yet? We really must know what you're doing, following us.


Lincoln: My boss asked me to keep an eye on you.


Jerrick: And who is your boss? Sounds like someone we should meet.


Lincoln: Pestilence.


Jerrick: [Disappointed] Oh. Pestilence wants to watch out for Charlie, but doesn't want her to know he's watching out for her. Am I close?


Stinkin: Pretty much, although he thought the rest of you might be weird about it.


Charlie: [Touched] Oh, isn't he a dear? [To the group] He always used to do this, when we were dating, to make sure I was safe. [Huge, dreamy smile] And to look for chances to meet privately, once the rest of you were asleep, as well. [To Lincoln, shaking off her reverie] But I haven't met you before--what happened to Pinkie?


Stinkin: He's on holidays. Visiting his parents to try and make up for killing his grandparents.

Alice: I don't know why Pestilence thought we'd be weird about it. I think it's kind of nice having someone look out for us.

Stinkin: Actually, it's more the secret photos that we've been taking that he thought you might have a problem with.


Charlie: [To Stinkin, confidently] But he must have had a good reason for asking you to take secret photos. [Less sure] And what reason was that, exactly? [Downright alarmed] WHAT secret photos?!


Jerrick: Uh oh here we go. Why don't you hand over the holiday snaps to us so we don't have to do something horrible to you?


Dur: Maybe Pestilence wants us to find Clementine so that he can fulfill a certain prophecy that we are investigating?=20


Stinkin: I don't have any. They were all sent by carrier pigeon this morning.

Alice: ALL? Exactly how many did you take?

[STINKIN gestures to a pigeon that has a huge parcel attached to it. The pigeon is trying to fly away, but the parcel is far too big.]

Stinkin: [Points at the pigeon] About that many.


Charlie: Stop that pigeon! [Tries to grab the parcel]


[CHARLIE easily catches the pigeon. Enter DEUCE.]

Deuce: Hey there, Puddin' Pop. Chasing birds again? [Waves to the party] Hey, gang! Hi, Alice.

Alice: [Giggling foolishly] Hi Deucie!


Charlie: [Inelegantly wrestles the parcel from the pigeon and proceeds to dig through the pictures. To Deuce, distractedly] Hello, Deuce! Are you by chance going to the gathering of scientists?


Deuce: [Gives Alice a big kiss before turning to Charlie] Sure am. I'm a bit late, though. I hope I haven't missed anything.

;;; Gone for an hour


Jerrick: [Looking through the photos with Charlie] Hey Deuce. Come to see our homicidal snail infestation?


Charlie: [To Deuce, fretting] Oh, we're not LATE, are we? How disappointing. We really must hurry, then! [Flips through the pictures quickly] Hmm, these aren't really THAT secret, just an exhaustive photographic record of everything single thing we've done in the last day or so. [Reasonably] It only makes sense that Pestilence would want to be kept informed, so I don't see the harm. After all, if I hadn't asked him to watch over Wilhelmina, he would be traveling with us and could see everything for himself.


Clint: [Alarmed.] Everything? Gimme those!


Mac: Everything? Well, not like we've done anything to be ashamed of now is it?

;;; Sorry I've been out this afternoon. Not been feeling too well and

;;; ended up falling asleep.


Jerrick: [Eyes glaze over as he tries to remember] Er, I didn't do anything embarrassing last night did I?


Charlie: [Eyebrows go up. Hands Jerrick, Mac, and Clint photos of themselves] Judge for yourselves!

;;; Last from me! Have a good weekend, everyone!


Jerrick: [Stares at a photo in horror] Oh by all the hells and the sea... How on earth did I get into *that* position?!?

;;; Same here!


Charlie: [To Jerrick] I'm quite sure I don't want to know! [Rapidly flips through the huge stack of photos, periodically removing one and slipping it in her pocket] Oh, for--aren't there enough pictures of me in that infernal underwear already?!


Clint: Speaking for the men of the world, there can never be enough pictures of women in their underwear!


Charlie: [Gasps and hands a picture to Clint] Well, I could certainly do with more pictures of men in their underwear, if THIS is the alternative!


Clint: [Glances down and pales, quickly stuffing the picture into a pocket for later disposal.] Honestly, it isn't what it looks like! I was just setting the poor animal's broken leg!


Alice: How did you break it in the first place, Clint? [Flips through the pictures] Aw, come on! How come there aren't any of me in my underwear?

Stinkin: After those grey monstrosities you were seen in for the newspapers, we're under strict instructions not to photograph you in your underwear.

Alice: But that was just that once! Deuce, tell them about the flounce!

Deuce: The ruffles are so flouncy you could hide a ham in them.


Charlie: [To Deuce, wryly] And no doubt you have already tried! [Brightly] Oh, Deuce, Alice was just showing us her positively CHARMING tattoo and told us you had a matching one. Can we see yours?


Clint: Hell, who has time for underwear! There's killer slugs on the loose!


Deuce: Uh, hell, who has time for tattoos! There's killer slugs on the loose! [Thinks for a moment] Killer slugs?


Austin : [To Deuce] Yes killer slugs and killer bunny slugs. Do you know anything about them?


Deuce: About [shows the height of one with his hands] yea high? Covered in delightfully soft fur? Very playful? Taste a little like chicken?


Jerrick: Well, I guess playful is one way to put it


Clint: Also, snails with clawed feet. Some kind of demon. Very vicious!


Deuce: Hm, sounds like a Spikey Demon, but they should barely be capable of climbing up stairs, never mind being vicious.


Charlie: Perhaps we should continue on to the meeting and see if anyone there has seen these slugs? [To Stinkin] So sorry we detained you. You may carry on as you have before, of course, and keep up the good work! [Hands Stinkin a copper piece]


Jerrick: [To Deuce] You're not the first person to say that, but believe us, they're pretty nasty. Somehow these are stronger than normal.


Mac: [To Deuce] Indeed, they seem to have killed several people yesterday and then attacked this establishment this morning.


Clint: Yeah, it was only several hours ago that one damn near ripped my throat out. To say nothing of the projectile vomiting!


Stinkin: Right, well, I'll be off, then.

Alice: Hey! Wait a minute! Are we really going to let this guy photograph our every move? [To Jerrick] Our every sleep? [To Clint] Our every, whatever the hell you were doing last night?


Jerrick: Take his camera. Or were you thinking more along the lines of torture and mutilation?


Charlie: [To Jerrick] You'll do no such thing. He is employed by my husband and has done nothing wrong.


Jerrick: So just take his camera then

;;; out for ~30mins


Alice: If you want some creepy guy taking pictures of you for Pestilence, that's your business, but there's no way he should be taking them of the rest of us!


Mac: I erm... I must agree. I'm not totally comfortable with Pestilence having someone follow us around and photograph us.


Jerrick: So what do you suggest?


Charlie: [Reluctantly] Well, I suppose the photos are rather an invasion of privacy, so perhaps I could put an end to that, as a compromise. But surely you can see why he has someone following me? Our travels take us in so many unexpected directions, he'd never get a minute's peace if he didn't have some assurance that he could find me if I needed him!

;;; Out for an hour or less!


Alice: How about us being able to get a minute's peace from his minions?

Stinkin: I'm not a minion, I'm a goon.


Jerrick: [To Stinkin] You could go explain the difference to someone who gives a damn. [To the Party] Look, we don't have all day - how about we say that if we ever see his face again, we'll throw him in the nearest lake with Charlies undewear tied round his ankles? Um, Charlie's underwear doesn't float does it?


Austin : [To Deuce] We suspect that Clementine has changed the balance of good and evil, again, and therefore these normally pathetic demons have great power. Apparently they are from the demon dimension closest to this one. The worring question is, how powerful are the the demons that were already powerful?


Alice: A better question would be for demons that were already powerful, how powerful will the be?

Deuce: That's the same question.

Alice; Oh.


Charlie: Indeed, we really must be going to this meeting now! [To Stinkin, with a sigh] Thank you for your loyal service, but I'm afraid you must stop following us, as the group is most unhappy about it. Not to worry, I'll dash off a note to Pestilence, explaining everything. [Quickly scribbles out a note and attaches it to the carrying pigeon]


Deuce: So the demons are finding it easier to attack us because the Realms are out of balance? [Thinks] Huh, that's so obvious, I wonder why I didn't think of it before.


Austin : It's probably a side effect of all the ham.


Charlie: [To Deuce, puzzled] You mean, these once-harmless demons aren't actually stronger, rather we are simply less able to fight against them?!


Deuce: That's my bet.


Austin : In one way, yes, in another no. We are 'gooder' than we were before, and they are 'eviller' than they were before.


Deuce: To the scientist meeting, they'll be able to help us!

[Exit ALL, into the house.]

;;; end of scene, next one coming up


Jerrick: So we need to gain some kind of advantage - I assume we'll meet something stronger at some point, so we should be prepared for that.


[Book VII, Act X, Scene V. The Mayor's House. ALICE, AUSTIN, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR, JERRICK, MAC, DEUCE and DATT are here, having just arrived in. The main reception room is filled with bodies, including that of DR. HIRAM FINKELSTEIN, the "PhDJ".]

Deuce: [Drops to his knees and cradles Hiram's body] Nooooooooooooo! [Shakes his fist at the sky] Why? Why? [Head drops] My friends, today is the day the music died.

Alice: Oh, I suppose we should have mentioned that the slug bunnies came out of here this morning.


Charlie: [Horrified] Hurry, group! See if anyone is still alive. Maybe we can still help them!


Jerrick: Always something... Is it a coincidence that the people we were counting on to help us defeat these demons were killed by the demons? Or am I just overly cynical.


Austin : [To Alice] Perhaps we should search around to see if we can determine the local source of the bunnies. Perhaps there is some form of gateway to hell in under the house?


Alice: [Indignantly] I don't think the slug bunnies need any help from us to kill these people?

Deuce: [To Austin] These bunnies don't come from hell, they come from a different dimension. They may have been particularly attracted to this location because of the number of very good people here this morning. [Looks shocked] Your house must have been over run with them, right?

Alice: Er, yeah, it was real crazy there.


Charlie: [To Alice] Help the injured, not the slug bunnies! [Checks to see if anyone is still alive]

;;; No survivors, I presume?


Jerrick: So it's official - everyone needs far more drinking, whoring and general debauchery, and then everything will be fine! Best get started, eh?

;;; out again for a while


Alice: [To Charlie] Oh, that makes more sense. [To Jerrick] Good idea! Let's get some whores in here on the double!

Deuce: [Bursts into tears] Hiram loved whores!

Alice: Er, there there.


Austin : [Looks rather hopeful] Excellent, a nice big party with lots of bubbly, gorgonzola and more ladies of negotiable friendship than you can shake a stick at! Our missions seems to be clear!


Datt: But there are no prostitutes now! Ever since the Bliss came, there's been no demand.

Alice: What we need is an army!

Deuce: An army of whores? Oh, man! Throw in an ability to shoot laser beams out their nipples and you'd have Hiram's dream!


Jerrick: Well, we'll have to introduce national service - we need that army! Of whores! Not sure about the laser beams but we'll see what we can do!


Alice: [Unimpressed] And how long is that going to take? We have an army of snails that can move at almost 0.03 miles per hour bearing down on us!


Charlie: [Uneasily] No, we already know what we have to do, group. And now we know why.


Alice: Er, not a bad idea. [Looks at Deuce and Datt] What'll we do with them?


Austin : [To Charlie] That is comlpetely offensive. Whislt you may have only implied your intention to kill Clem to us and not them, my argument is with the idea of killing her. In the past we have always tried to avoid killing good people. That is what the bad guys do. We are genearally all about self sacrifice. If you kill Clem it may completely reverse the good/bad roles, use becomming the demons and demons like Pestillence becomming the good guys, [Stresses] again. He did use to be an angel, after all.


Charlie: What evidence do you have to suggest that killing Clementine will somehow reverse good and evil?! As you very well know, I am the one who effectively changed Pestilence from an angel into a demon, at his request. It wasn't as if a switch was flipped and all angels became evil. And do you really think I want to kill Clementine?! That any of us want that? I just don't see what choice we have.


Jerrick: Austin, you've argued your case but the alternative seems to be to try to reason with her. If she's gone mad, how do we know that we can reason with her at all. [To Charlie] Is there any way we can approach Clementine to see what state of mind she's in, then retain the option of killing her if necessary?


Mac: There's one thing we haven't even considered. What if this is deliberate? What if Clementine *knew* what was going to happen? We don't know why she brought bliss to the world. She is a demon herself after all, is she not? [Penny drops] Oh Philli! She's deliberately doing this to make herself stronger...


Austin : [To Charlie] Not reverse good and evil themselves, just us. [To Mac] That is a very good point Mr Mac.


Austin : [To Charlie] We do? [Glances at the others. To Charlie] Perhaps you have been spending too much time with a demon?


Alice: What if there are more demons around? They could attack any moment!


Charlie: [To Austin] If even harmless demons can cause this much damage to humans in our dimension [gestures to the dead scientists] , what choice do we have?


Austin : [To Charlie] Perhaps we can convince her to sacrifice herself for the greater good?


Datt: Huh. Are you talking about Clementine?


Jerrick: [Hopefully] Or we could round up our whore army on the way there? Don't worry about the training - Clint and I will organise that, right Clint?


Charlie: [To Datt, with a forced laugh] Oh my, NO! We're talking about something completely different. [To Deuce] Deuce, do be a dear and take Datt somewhere safe. Why don't the two of you share a ham and raise a glass to Dr. Finkelstein?


Deuce: [To Datt] They ARE talking about Clementine!


Charlie: [Alarmed] No, we aren't! [To the party] Isn't that right, group? It was one of our silly little inside jokes-- [to Austin, scolding] and not terribly funny, at that! [Clumsily trying to change the subject] Oh, Deuce, look--I meant to give this to you earlier [hands him a Wilhelmina fridge magnet] --isn't she precious? Perhaps you can stick it to your beer can later, as an extra-special tribute to Dr. Finkelstein? Wouldn't that be nice?


Clint: [Hastily, with a glance at Datt.] In a caring, supportive, non-violent way, of course!


Charlie: [Nods enthusiastically] Right! [To Deuce] Now, take Datt somewhere safe and spend the day reminiscing about Hiram. [Gets a distant look in her eyes] I know I'll never forget the night he played that maddeningly catchy tune, "Tunky Fown," over and over again. It became a part of me that night, like the beating of my heart. [To Deuce, clapping her hands] There, that should get you started! Now, do be off, at once!


Jerrick: [To Deuce] Don't do any whoring without me! [To Charlie] Any idea where she who is not to be named might be?


Clint: No clue. Maybe we should ask Clementine? [To Deuce and Datt.] You guys know where we can find her? So she can... help us out in stopping the demon attacks that killed poor Hiram and his excellent music?


Charlie: Splendid idea, Mr. Scar! [Looks at Deuce expectantly]


Deuce: Puddin' Pop, you are not going to hurt Clementine.


Jerrick: You seem pretty certain of that.


Clint: [Trying to seem all blissed out.] Like, who would do that? It would be so not copasetic, man.


Deuce: I've got a failsafe plan to stop you. [ Shouts] Help! Help! They wantto Hurt Clementine!

;;; Out for an hourFrom qvblogger

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Last from Conor

Mac: Great! Now we have to deal with demons with increased strength and an angry mob. Could this get any worse? [Calmly] Oh, and may I suggest we start running?


Jerrick: They can't be that angry - they're supposed to be all forgiving and friendly and all that good stuff.


Charlie: [Tries to grab Deuce] Stop! Please, why can't you just trust me?! We've known each other for years and years. Doesn't that mean anything to you?! [Glances at Alice and adds, a bit desperately] Oh, AND what about your special relationship with Pixie Stix here?


Jerrick: And you were doing so well.


Clint: Not to mention, you know, run!


Austin : [Really anoyed at Charlie] We do not want to kill or hurt Clementine! It's just her [Points at Charlie. To Charlie, furious] Shut your mouth , before you get us all killed! [To Deuce] It's Charlie, she is the only one who wants to kill Clem, and she will not stop talking about it! She is crazed!


Deuce: We gotta throw her in jail! If other people find out about it, they'll want to lock her away!


Jerrick: Well we can't have that - best put her in jail so no-one can put her in jail!


Austin : [To Deuce] You are correct. But we should take here to a jail somewhere else, she'd b linched here. We should take her to a jail in Dementia or someplace.


Charlie: [Backs away from Austin and Deuce] You stay away from me! [Tries to run for it]


Mac: Guys, everyone be reasonable! We can't put Charlie in prison. There's only one thing for it. We have to run for it.


Jerrick: Of course we can put her in prison - we just catch her, take her to the jail, put her in a cell and lock the door. Throwing away the key is optional.


Alice: Or maybe we could put Datt and Deuce in jail?

Deuce: Pixie Stix! You'd really put your Deucie in jail?

Alice: Come on, it'll be fun, a bit like that time when we played warden and prisoner.


Charlie: Now THERE's an idea!


Deuce: It's only fun when it's a women's jail!


Austin : [To Deuce] Do you know where we can get some transport perchance?


Deuce: To help you kill Clementine? Look, what the hell is going on here?


Charlie: Deuce, I'm terribly sorry, but we really must tie you up now. I'll explain everything soon, but you need to trust me for now. [To Alice] I presume you have all manner of disturbing bondage gear readily available?


Mac: [To Jerrick] You'll be going in a cell before Charlie does, sailor boy. [To Deuce] Clementine is causing these demons to become stronger.


Datt: [To Jerrick and Austin] Come on, let's make a break for it! [Makes a run for the door]


Austin : But it is only Charlie that wants to kill Clementine, not the rest of us. I think it is totally unnecessary!


Mac: Oh, grow a spine!


Datt: [Gets to the door] You bastards! [Heads out into the street]

Alice: There'll be time for disturbing bondage gear later, Charlie, right now we better stop him! [Runs after Datt]


Charlie: [Tries to catch Datt. To the party] Make sure Deuce stays put!


Jerrick: Sorry Deuce, you're not going anywhere

;;; Yikes! I blink and 11 emails pop up!


Austin : [To Mac, angry] Why don't you grow a spine? Have you ever had a thought of your own? I don't suppose you need one, or a spine, as you are crawling up Charlie's rear end all the time.



Datt: Help! Help!

[CLINT bonks him over the head, knocking him out.]

Alice: [To Austin] Maybe if you weren't trying to throw her under the carriage, he wouldn't need to defend her!


Jerrick: [To Mac and Austin] If you two ladies would like some time alone, you just let us know, OK?


Charlie: [To Deuce] You MUST listen to me. The Bliss has thrown off the Balance. You've seen it yourself, with these slug creatures. Our dimension is now terribly vulnerable, and the only way we can right things is to kill Clementine. [With a glare at Austin] This is not something ANY of us want to do, but there's no other way. Can you see reason, and will you help us? Or must Mr. Scar knock you out, as well?


Austin : [To Alice] What the hell are you talking about? Throw her under what carriage? What the hell would I want to do that for? That's a dam stupid idea, Alice!


Jerrick: [Excited] Ooh, can I knock him out, can I? Please?


Austin : [Backs off and readies his dagger to defend himself] What the hell is wrong with you lot? You would do well to remember that killing Clementine is not the only solution, Mr Scar may remember our dear friend Sven. Did we murder him? No! Then there was Marasmus, did we murder her? No!


Jerrick: So you have many fine friends. What are these magical other solutions of which you speak?


Austin : We could ask her to reverse what she has done, to cancel her magic or charm or whatever it is! Or she could sacrifice her self for teh greater good, a much more powerful gesture than being stabbed in the back by a murderous villan called Charlie!


Jerrick: And if she refuses?


Austin : What would you choose? Reverse your magic or die? I think that she will see the error in her ways and go for canceling her magic.


Alice: If I was Clementine, I'd kill the person who gave me the choice. You need to calm down, Aus. We were still only discussing the possibility of it, you're the one who insisted that Charlie wanted to kill her. And put that dagger away, it's Deuce he was going to knock out, not you.


Jerrick: She may not be entirely sane. And even if she agrees, she might try it again, or do something even worse. [To the Party] You guys know her better than me. Anyone think Austin's plan might work?


Deuce: I think it's a great plan. I'll pass the message on for you, if you'd like.


Charlie: Not a chance. I'm not even sure mine will. Clementine is incredibly powerful, and she has every human in this dimension in her thrall. [To the party] We are, at least, all agreed that the Bliss must be reversed? Then I propose we work to find a way of doing that [glares at Austin] in whatever way we must.


Austin : [Indignantly to Alice, putting his dagger away] It was not me that insisted that Charlie is going to kill Clementine, and you know it! Charlie keeps going on about it as if she has been brain washed or something.


Mac: And you keep sounding like those brainwashed idiots who love Clementine so much that they'd keep her even if it meant being killed by super strong demons!


Austin : Not I dont. You really need to work on your powers of observation. Trying to save a life is not the same as walking around chanting 'Clementine' in a daze.


Alice: I hate to say it, Aus, you did sound kind of crazy.

Deuce: What the hell is wrong with you people? He's the only one making any sense! Come on, Aus, let's tell the town what they are trying to do.


Jerrick: Sorry Austin, I think you're outvoted. It's not just about one life here.


Dur: [Thoughtfully] So my choice is see the Bliss end which will likely cloud my dear Hatie's mind again and things will return to the way there were = before, or get brutally slaughtered by slug demons? ... I hate to say it, but I choose the latter! I can't lose her again!=


Deuce: Well said, that man!


Charlie: [Gives Dur a sympathetic pat on the back] We're all going to lose when we do this, Dur. But if we don't, who knows how many people will die?


Deuce: I can't let you do it, guys -- I'm going to leap out this window!

[Slowly starts to climb out the window, but does a bad job of it.]

Deuce: Wow, this is tougher than it looks. Pixie Stix? Will you give me a leg up?

Alice: Sure thing! [Starts to help Deuce out the window]


Jerrick: Dur, If we don't do this and Hatie gets hurt by some demon or other, how will you feel then?


Dur: I'll feel like a died with fulfillment and clarity rather than saving the world AGAIN for a selfish population that will turn around and end up b= laming it all on me anyway!From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with HTTP; Tue, 17 May 2011 06:26:47 -0700 (PDT) Date: Tue, 17 May 2011 14:26:47 +0100 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: kTETMRKcnPeNJrys96A03SMX_3Y Message-ID: <BANLkTi=j3LD9t8YHcEbsX5-biVmzL=e0gg@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Deuce: [Halfway out the window] Come with me, Dur. We can warn everyone. Be careful, though, it's trickier getting out this window than it might look. Alice, you'll give him a hand too, right?

Alice: [Sweaty and panting from the exertion] Uh, okay, Deuce.


Jerrick: You could just use the door. [Points at the door]


Charlie: [To Jerrick, exasperated] Don't help him escape! [To Alice] And pull Deuce back inside!


Alice: [Realizes what she is doing and gets embarrassed] Yeah, Jerrick, don't help him escape! [Lets go of Deuce, causing him to fall] Oops! Sorry, Deucie!

Deuce: [Lying on the ground] That hurt, Pixie Stix, although the fact that I can see right up your skirt does make up for it a bit.

Alice: What are we going to do with him? [Points to Dur] And with him?


Dur: Oooh, oooh! I have an idea! Why don't we let him go!? [Dur tries to cast Obscuring Mist: http://dungeons.wikia.com/wiki/SRD:Obscuring_Mist and he= ads for the window, trying to hop out if he makes it] From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with SMTP id r16cs175206qca; Tue, 17 May 2011 07:01:55 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with SMTP id n18mr640450weq.93.1305640914301; Tue, 17 May 2011 07:01:54 -0700 (PDT) Return-Path: <heather.goggans@gmail.com> Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id e3si973444wen.125.2011.; Tue, 17 May 2011 07:01:54 -0700 (PDT) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of heather.goggans@gmail.com) client-ip=; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of heather.goggans@gmail.com) smtp.mail=heather.goggans@gmail.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@gmail.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dd27f7b0001>; Tue, 17 May 2011 15:00:27 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id p4HE1tnI000373 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Tue, 17 May 2011 15:01:55 +0100 Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dd27f7b0000>; Tue, 17 May 2011 15:00:27 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL5.ul.ie ( [] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Tue, 17 May 2011 15:00:26 +0100 Received: from mail-gx0-f181.google.com (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dd27f7a0000>; Tue, 17 May 2011 15:00:26 +0100 Received: by gxk9 with SMTP id 9so198710gxk.26 for <conor.ryan@ul.ie>; Tue, 17 May 2011 07:01:52 -0700 (PDT) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc :content-type; bh=rbB4lonFAdvVi4a07WoxJfRJSzAtNUEcv1d1UyxAfV4=; b=AfGcYRvw5mNeZch8PgMXQZ9Iv5tbWMB74KMqOlTaqVnP1CS1rZWj7CHmeHJjM8nEZX evHg3TMsSemAFsSJQYRyiyQlJ5wYFyJvR2Z8lAm9itazmqEm0JYXmDQFogTFNrYorz1v tdfzvSNNDa5bjuvfW79l9rH+kNuBor8NbOsz8DomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc:content-type; b=gHGMnqi3Rbd4ErOQmymrZqTLx+tHVz84NBHGJ5P2dkCGJ3lWx9zffVIZjhSZ5rzlO2 rjcbBw7p1HDFLaG5TMvPHbteZhvclteyJ179wbUi0Sq9qOTsekHibbU83wrDI2yKnkMp BKoR03VUhOwFfTv4YGSI9nn8SUVSAaNffY8ekMIME-Version: 1.0 Received: by with SMTP id f26mr483729aga.54.1305640911978; Tue, 17 May 2011 07:01:51 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with HTTP; Tue, 17 May 2011 07:01:51 -0700 (PDT) Date: Tue, 17 May 2011 15:01:51 +0100 Message-ID: <BANLkTimUkJ1zndxjxCzOd8hcibYTO+ttEA@mail.gmail.com> To: Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie> Cc: John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 17 May 2011 14:00:27.0170 (UTC) FILETIME= [C6524020:01CC149A]

Charlie: [Sighs] Sorry, Deuce! [Tries to knock out Deuce]


Last from Kevin

Jerrick: Come 'ere you little worm! [Dives to try and tackle Dur]


[CHARLIE smashes a vase over DEUCE's head.]

Deuce: Ow! Hey, Puddin' Pop! That really hurt! It's almost like foreplay with Alice!

[CHARLIE smashes another vase over him, knocking him out. Meanwhile, a mist forms around DUR, and both JERRICK and ALICE leap into to try and grab him. Both manage to grab a leg.]

Alice: I got him!


Charlie: [Starts tying Deuce up] Dur, please calm down! Do you want us to have to leave you behind?! [Soothingly] You know you'll be safer traveling with us, with all of the dangerous slugs and such about!


Jerrick: [Tries to push Dur over by lifting the leg] Over you go!


Austin : Excellent. Now tie him up and then we can go and TALK to Clementine.


Dur: You can't do this! What has gotten into this group! You can't just go around detaining people for no reason!=


Dur: If you expect me to succumb to this madness, you'd be better off leaving me here.=


Alice: Oh for God's sake! Can everyone just calm down a minute? All we've agreed is that Clementine is probably responsible for the tilt in balance. What we need to do next is decide how to stop that. Refusing to come along or blabbing about stuff to non-party members is not helpful!


Charlie: I quite agree. It's not safe to discuss this with anyone else, given how strongly Deuce and Datt reacted.


Alice: Not to mention Austin and Dur!


Jerrick: Ok, so what next? Do we know where Clementine is, and are we strong enough to take her on if we need to?


Austin : [Calmly] My reaction was merely commensurate to the undesirable position of accomplice to murder. Charlie would do well to take her own advice and not discuss the matter in front of anyone else at all.

;;;;away home


Alice: Oh, please. You acted like a little bitch and you know it. Either we all trust each other or we don't. If we can't discuss plans, we have a big problem.


Mac: We can't talk to Clementine about it because she'd kill us. We can't talk to anyone else about it for advice because they'd give us up and a mob would kill us. What else are we left with BUT to kill her?


Clint: [Shrugs.] Brainwash Deuce and have HIM talk to Clementine and get killed?

;;; Dear Lord. I have finally caught up on, like, 70 messages. Also,

super busy at work until June, doing me best, sorry.


Alice: We'll do no such thing! [Eyes Austin warily] Are we sure that Aussie is okay? Did something happen to him last night? After all, we talked about the possibility of Clementine having to be destroyed then, and, although he was against it, today he's pulling weapons on the party and Charlie is suddenly a back stabbing villain that he wants imprisoned. I thought we had only agreed that Clementine needed to be removed, right?


Clint: Oooh, that gives me a brilliant idea! We have Clementine go bring Bliss to the demon dimension for a while!


Charlie: That IS an interesting idea, Mr. Scar! Unfortunately, there are many dimensions. It might not be possible to extend the Bliss further than just one. Even if it is, indeed, transferable somehow. [To Austin] Well, Mr. Sleaze? ARE you quite yourself? I accept that your opinion of me has never been particularly high, but your insults earlier were quite intolerable.


Clint: Maybe Clementine can hop back and forth between dimensions, you know, some kind of interdimensional peace bomb or something. If the Bliss works that way, anyway. And if it doesn't, we can always lock her and the lawyer in a room together.


Alice: So, we're going to try to talk to Clementine? [Eyes up Austin] Let's keep an eye on Austin. There's something not quite right there.


Jerrick: One question though - doesn't all that evil have to end up somewhere? And another question - What if with Clemmy hopping around the dimensions she pushes the evilness all into one dimension. Can the dimensions take that kind of shift?b What if they all cease to exist or something. And an even more important question - where the hell is my flask. Oh, here it is. Panic over, carry on.


Austin : [To Charlie] You were accusing me of being an accomplice to you murderous schemes, in front of non-party members. We could all have been tried and hung for that! Were you aware that your actions could potentially have gotten us all killed, and may yet do so? [huffs] And no, I did not want to put you in prison. You are all complete idiots! I was merely suggesting that to Deuce and Datt so that we could leave unbothered leaving them with the impression that we were taking Charlie to prison in Dementia, so someplace. It was a ruse! Obviously such a cunning sure that it had you all fooled to! [sighs]


Alice: Oh please! No one said anything about killing Clementine until you did! You're the complete idiot if you think we could somehow translate your ranting about back stabbing and villains into some sort of a cunning strategy.


Charlie: [To Austin, coldly] Mr. Sleaze, I NEVER said anything about killing Clementine in front of the others! I merely said that we knew what to do, knowing that all of you would understand what I meant, and they would not! It was only the ensuing escalation, chiefly fueled by YOU, that created the problem! And as for the alleged ruse of imprisoning me, what did you intend to do about Deuce and Datt?! Let them go free, with the understanding that I was plotting against Clementine?! You don't think that effectively would have signed my death sentence?


Clint: Hell, I've been saying that for years!


Charlie: [To Jerrick] That's quite a good point, we'd only be spreading our rather disastrous problem all over the universe. [To Clint, with a unimpressed look at Austin] Yours is also a good point.


Jerrick: Besides, right now we're more a danger to ourselves than to Clementine.


Alice: Agreed! Especially if we keep blabbing about private discussions! So. We need to talk to Clementine, but what about the people living in Queens View? Are they about to be massacred by snails?


Clint: Maybe the city fathers should add a rule that everyone in Queens View needs to carry salt and a light garlic butter sauce at all times?


Jerrick: [Nods] A sensible suggestion. This may be the wrong crowd for that though...


Mac: Maybe we should just solve this as quickly as possible instead of arguing and fighting amongst ourselves?


Austin : [Rolls his eyes] Whatever! [Goes and looks out of a window in a huff]


in a huff]

Mac: [To Jerrick] Yes, it might. But I at least had to try.


Alice: Maybe we should try to get the townspeople some way organized in case of another attack?


Charlie: [To Alice] Good idea. We should alert town officials at once. But before we do, perhaps it would be best if we came up with some sort of code word to use in future, so that we might be able to alert one other when there is some sort of secret plan in motion that might otherwise appear to be a horrible betrayal of another party member. How about [finger quotes, shooting Austin a dirty look] weasel?!


Alice: Yikes -- I'm not sure we know what she was, but she was certainly demonish! I'm not sure we saw any evidence of her getting stronger, though.

[The door swings open. Enter OFFICER JACK HAMMER.]

Jack: Great news! You'll never guess who's coming to town!

Alice: I don't see how that's even news, never mind great news.


Mac: [Crosses fingers] Please don't say Clementine...


Jerrick: [Hopefully] Santa Clause?


Jack: [Beaming] Clementine!

Alice: [To Austin] So, it might make you good?


Austin : [Hopefully] Peter?


Austin : [Looks at Alice's shoes, rolls his eyes and turns back to looking out of the window]


Charlie: [Watches Austin nervously. To Jack] Oh, how splendid! Do go and spread the word, won't you? We'll be along shortly.


Austin : [To Alice] You should take the Whatever card for safe keeping. it may come in handy.


Jerrick: So that answers the question of where she is - we could go take a look, see if she's absolutely bonkers or not.


Alice: [To Austin] He destroyed it when the Bliss came in! [To Jack] When will she be here?

Jack: Some time this evening -- she's going as fast as the horses will take her!


Mac: Great, so we need to decide fast. Do we talk to her or do we just observe her?

;;; Out for the rest of the day


Jerrick: I think we should just observe for now - see what we're dealing with.


Jack: [Nods enthusiastically] Good idea!


Charlie: [To Mac and Jerrick, subtly nodding toward Jack] Let's not delay Jack with our silly chattering, shall we?


Jack: Good idea, folks. We've got lots to do -- there are loads of bodies outside that we have to clean up, and then we have to make a big banner that says "Welcome Clementine", and I can promise you, this time there won't be any spelling mistakes.

Alice: Hey! I gave up a bunch of my spare time to make that banner!


Jerrick: Riiiight. [Tries to gently usher Jack towards the door] Hey, Jack, I'm sure you've got things to do, so we'll talk to you later, OK?


Charlie: [To Jack] Wait, bodies? What happened?!


Jack: [At the door] Oh, I don't know. They kind of look like the ones in here do. All shreddy and bloody. [Shrugs] I'm sure it'll be fine.

[Exit JACK]

Alice: Well, that can't be good!


Dur: The act of more demons no doubt. From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with HTTP; Wed, 18 May 2011 06:16:31 -0700 (PDT) Date: Wed, 18 May 2011 14:16:31 +0100 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: tiFKS-Z1FDP8in_4-lkGumnqvXs Message-ID: <BANLkTinX23FRXRaxzhtv9=Z+oeU=QZ58bg@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Alice: These people aren't ready for another snail attack!


Jerrick: Shall we go take a look?


Austin : We should go and see what is happening. [Looks through the window]

;;; Did Aus see anything out there?


Charlie: Yes, let's do, though I don't know how we will keep these people safe. Perhaps the mayor could impose a curfew to keep people inside for the next day or so?


Alice: Not a bad idea, Charlie, but on what grounds?

[AUSTIN pulls back the curtain, and the party can see that there are several people being carried through the streets on stretchers.]

;;; Out for about an hour


Charlie: [Points out the window] Killer snails and a helpless populace!


Alice: Let's see what we can do, but remember, most towns don't even have mayors any more, not since the bliss. Of course, given that the mayor was smarmy Joe Nunpar, that's probably a good thing in this case.

[The party tie up DEUCE and DATT, and head out.]

;;; End of scene


[Book VII, Act X, Scene VI. The Streets of Queens View. ALICE, AUSTIN, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR, JERRICK and MAC are here, having just arrived. There are several people milling around, carrying bodies on stretchers. JOE NUNPAR has just appeared.]

Joe: Quickly, get these people to the doctor's house!

;;; Joe is the leader of HARMA - everyone's least favourite

;;; right wing group. He is also the president of the Realms,

;;; as well as mayor of Queens View. He stepped back

;;; from authority after Clementine arrived.


Dur: Err.... I don't have a house!


Joe: [Looks over the party] You!

[The last time the party encountered JOE, they stole his priceless collection of decorative unicorns.]


Dur: [Finger Guns Joe] Hey Joe! How's it hanging?From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with HTTP; Wed, 18 May 2011 08:08:31 -0700 (PDT) Date: Wed, 18 May 2011 16:08:31 +0100 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: ttQUlm-nh6r40-J0Gn7wbsrssyo Message-ID: <BANLkTi=Oww-kwWNrsEJ7QE_kEwtzsGRP6A@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Alice: Isn't the bliss just great, uh, Joey.

[ALICE gives JOE a hug, to his apparent discomfort.]

Joe: Er, yes, just great.


Dur: So... [Looks around] What happened here Joe?From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with HTTP; Wed, 18 May 2011 08:11:49 -0700 (PDT) Date: Wed, 18 May 2011 16:11:49 +0100 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: qpsEf3hFIM-IIRzvkLlWtoChaks Message-ID: <BANLkTin1Df-Cdt4bKP0kjcFG20hB=KKMRA@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Joe: We're not sure. We think some people may have been hurt while out picking blackberries -- those thorns can be very sharp, you know.


Austin : [To joe] Ohh, we thought it was probably the slug demons we just killed, that did it.


Joe: No, no, I don't think so. It's an easy mistake to make, I'm sure, but these are definite blackberry wounds.


Jerrick: Any idea why the blackberries would do such a thing?


Charlie: [To Joe] Er, Joey, in addition to the blackberry menace, we've noticed an awful lot of people getting terribly hurt by seemingly cuddly bunny slugs. Perhaps it would be best to encourage people to stay in their homes for the time being, to make sure everyone is safe?


Joe: [To Jerrick] None, I'm afraid, they are a mystery. [To Charlie] Nonsense! The bunny slugs are just trying to be friendly. Sure, we've lost a few dozen scientists, but those bunny slugs are soooo cute. [Pauses for a moment and looks at Alice] Do you think you could let go of me?

Alice: [Breaks off the hug] Sorry! I forgot where I was!


Dur: [Doubtfully] Perhaps I can examine one of the victim's myself?From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with SMTP id o5cs75913icz; Wed, 18 May 2011 08:36:58 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with SMTP id g23mr1587518ebc.110.1305733017257; Wed, 18 May 2011 08:36:57 -0700 (PDT) Return-Path: <djmalzie@gmail.com> Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id x46si4287668eea.18.2011.; Wed, 18 May 2011 08:36:57 -0700 (PDT) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of djmalzie@gmail.com) client-ip=; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of djmalzie@gmail.com) smtp.mail=djmalzie@gmail.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@gmail.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dd3e7930002>; Wed, 18 May 2011 16:36:51 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id p4IFatXR017640 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Wed, 18 May 2011 16:36:55 +0100 Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dd3e7930000>; Wed, 18 May 2011 16:36:51 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL5.ul.ie ( [] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Wed, 18 May 2011 16:36:50 +0100 Received: from mail-iw0-f181.google.com (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dd3e7920000>; Wed, 18 May 2011 16:36:50 +0100 Received: by iwn38 with SMTP id 38so1550803iwn.26 for <conor.ryan@ul.ie>; Wed, 18 May 2011 08:36:52 -0700 (PDT) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc :content-type; bh=0F7OOXuvI+opw77X2q2xGKrAAMf8tAJfdZ5K5sa+2OM=; b=ShtHI6CopnEtcVLDv8FJwktfV8Qy79A65XKe1x5Q6LnEYwhyXZZCPFwDeEn1zsOhAD rWJ1dLS5Vp4B3Srh5qp3HwGB9I8T+X+ovOTR90GkYtpoUPAivCRP2057EM3nJU0QzY/Y jfF6l0ditZhzOAoZa1uXRBirI27MkEBJLa3kADomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc:content-type; b=lII32boSjT4/ZQHE4/ayrLYCFGuteYi4tql2xs9OAyz1rwye1k7Wa1MakE6SflIkte iwlIAuuEbPJzZAd3s5LJxJJtFnIMFuYC4v3evoyD+F1B9JOqaHw0j8216/dR5dlgK5gB oMA8dTkFgjcVAuc0QrEvppIvlCgHG4/4YkgbkMIME-Version: 1.0 Received: by with SMTP id hm10mr2506832icb.205.1305733012442; Wed, 18 May 2011 08:36:52 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with HTTP; Wed, 18 May 2011 08:36:52 -0700 (PDT) Date: Wed, 18 May 2011 16:36:52 +0100 Message-ID: <BANLkTi=3hyJi3rfN-0EDg4wJbHO39m4F_Q@mail.gmail.com> To: Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie> Cc: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 18 May 2011 15:36:51.0004 (UTC) FILETIME= [682B07C0:01CC1571]

Austin : [To joe] Don't blame her, she sees you as a father figure, I believe. Just needs a little confort in these horribly stressful times of blackberry picking disasters.


Joe: [To Dur] Sure! [Gestures to a body that's on the ground, covered with a blanket] Understandable, I suppose, and if she were to put on a school uniform, I might want to play along, but as it is, it just makes me uncomfortable.


Jerrick: Well she does that to a lot of people - no need to call her 'it' though.


Alice: Don't worry, Jerrick, it won't be doing it to you any time soon.


Charlie: I should hope not. What would Deuce say?! [Kneels down to check out the body on the ground]


Alice: He'd say "whatever you want to do, Pixie Stix!"

[The body has been ripped to shreds.]

Joe: See? The unmistakable damage of the blackberry thorn. [Shakes his head sadly] Poor bastard didn't stand a chance. I understand he spotted some extra juicy looking ones on the edge of wall. He climbed up to get them and [fights back some tears] the wall gave away beneath him.


Dur: Well. I've never been one for formally studying blackberry injuries, the signs would seem to indicate... Wait a moment [Inspects the remains more= closely]

;;; Are there any thorns among the remains? Any kind of plant remnants at all?=


[There are no signs of plants or blackberries.]


Dur: [Continuing] If this were a blackberry attack, where is the evidence? Where are the broken thorns? Where are the trampled leaves and stems? In fa= ct... [Checks the fingers and mouths if they aren't horribly mangled] Whereare the signs of the BLACKBERRIES?=


Jerrick: [To Joe] And there's no way the bunny slugs could have done this?


fact... [Checks the fingers and mouths if they aren't horribly mangled] Where are the signs of the BLACKBERRIES?

Charlie: [To Joe] You must admit, those are very good points, particularly for Dur! And we can also attest that we have seen similar wounds inflicted by those horrid slug bunnies, so I do believe the culprit here is none other than [pauses for dramatic effect] --slug bunnies!

;;; Gone for the day!


Joe: Indeed they are, but we all know how delicious blackberries are. I'm sure that it's more likely that someone simply at the blackberries than one of these slug bunnies was responsible.

;;; No posting from me until

;;; about 11


Charlie: I see. Well, we were personally attacked by the slug bunnies. [Points at Clint's neck] See?!=


Clint: Well, to be fair I got this from the claw-snail, not the slug bunny. Which I think we should start calling blugs, because it's much easier to say.


Charlie: [To Clint, exasperated] Yes, well, the POINT is that there are harmless-looking slug demons terrorizing this town. [To Joe, urgently] Blackberries are not the enemy! You really must impose a curfew on the townspeople, to keep them safe!


Clint: Also not so harmless looking snails with big feet. And they're vicious. [Judiciously.] There could also be evil blackberries from some hell dimension.


Austin : But how will a curfew solve anything? Most of the victims that we have seen so far were inside buildings. [Sighs]


Charlie: [To Austin, sharply] What do you suggest, Mr. Sleaze? And please, for a change, do offer a suggestion rather than simply criticizing mine and offering nothing.


Jerrick: Perhaps if we all stay out instead. Perhaps with [Hopefully] copious amounts of alcohol?


Mac: [Sarcastically] Oh yes, what a brilliant idea. Because everyone knows nothing goes wrong when you mix danger and alcohol!


Jerrick: Glad you agree, Mac. Shall we be going then?


Clint: To the brewery!

;;; After all, as everyone knows, one uses beer traps to get rid of

slugs anyway.


Alice: Maybe we should encourage people out of their homes? You know, get them armed, and then, like Mac suggests, get them liquored up so they'll be in a fighting mood.


Charlie: Do be serious! We aren't going to further weaken the defenses of the townsfolk with cheap intoxicants! [To Joe] Now, as there have been no other reasonable suggestions made [shoots Austin a dirty look] , won't you please consider telling people to stay in their homes for the time being?

;;; Is that true? It sounds like the kind of random weird thing

;;; that would be true!


Clint: I like this plan. We can fight projectile vomit with projectile vomit!

;;; It's the kind of random weird thing that is true. What you do is fill a

;;; tin with beer and bury it at ground level. The beer attracts the slug, it

;;; oozes its way up, whereupon it falls in and drowns a presumably very

;;; happy slug.


Mac: Like I suggested?! I was being sarcastic! It's the worst idea possible!


Jerrick: Ah Mac, maybe you're just a genius and never knew it. Probably not, but y'know. Stranger things have happened. Not many, but still. Ok, people, let's get wasted!


Jerrick: [Eyes narrow menacingly] I will have my revenge on those vomiting slugs. [Brightly] To the pub, then! [Heads for the door]

;;; Supposedly it works best with the cheap beer, and also cheap cider

as well, because they like the sugar.


Alice: [Squeezes Mac's shoulder] Isn't that just like Mac? Being all modest and such?


Mac: [Facepalm and shakes head] This cannot end well...


Alice: [To Charlie] Not just amorous and weepy, sometimes it makes them horny, too! [To Joe] Is the bar still open?

Joe: No, what need have people for alcohol when they have bliss?

Alice: What do you think, Mac? Any other bright ideas?


Charlie: [Skeptically] Well, I suppose we can try, but how can we be sure people will become angry when intoxicated? Sometimes it merely makes people amorous or weepy!


Jerrick: Always the same - as soon as things get good, people get complacent. Hey, what if that was part of Clementine's plan? Make us all happy so we wouldn't keep alcohol around, and thus be defenceless against the evil bunny slugs!

;;; out for an hour or so


Charlie: [Shakes her head at Jerrick, nodding toward Joe] Mr. Adaar, your sense of humor is rather peculiar! [Forces a laugh. To Joe] Now, how about declaring a curfew, as I originally and quite sensibly suggested?


Joe: Oh, no, I don't think so. That might cause a panic. Now, I have some things to attend to, so you folks have a good day. Oh, and if you want to have some blackberries, please be careful!

[Exit JOE.]


Austin : [Sniggers] . Well, that is that settled. Since the proles may be reluctant to drink alcohol voluntarily, why don't we put copius amounts of alcohol into the towns water supply, then had out free cookies, cheese cookies of course, but we won't tell anyone.


Dur: [Sighing] That sounds like an awful lot of work...


Alice: But if we don't tell anyone, how will they know about all the free stuff?


Mac: How about we get the hell out of here before you-know-who gets here?


Alice: Aren't we going to try to get these people to protect themselves? I mean, something other than getting them so drunk and stoned that they can't run away from the snails?

;;; Out for an hour


Charlie: Well, what will do, then? Just try talking to them about the threat? Perhaps we can get through to some of them, and then the word will start to spread. Shall we just start going door-to-door?


Jerrick: Going door to door would take ages. We should bring them all to a central place where we can speak to them all at once - a pub maybe.


Austin : But surely if everyone is drunk and stoned and fornicating then the snails will be weak again?


Dur: [Rolls his eyes] Yeah, because getting the entire city's population inone central location is not complicated at all. And besides that, how do y= ou plan on inviting them all there?From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with SMTP id r16cs19719qca; Thu, 19 May 2011 07:38:30 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with SMTP id p3mr3224294wbh.80.1305815910037; Thu, 19 May 2011 07:38:30 -0700 (PDT) Return-Path: <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com> Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id p71si5303460weq.107.2011.; Thu, 19 May 2011 07:38:30 -0700 (PDT) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com) client-ip=; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com) smtp.mail=john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@gmail.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dd52b5e0001>; Thu, 19 May 2011 15:38:22 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id p4JEcTld001588 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Thu, 19 May 2011 15:38:29 +0100 Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dd52b5e0000>; Thu, 19 May 2011 15:38:22 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL5.ul.ie ( [] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Thu, 19 May 2011 15:38:22 +0100 Received: from mail-iw0-f181.google.com (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dd52b5d0001>; Thu, 19 May 2011 15:38:21 +0100 Received: by iwn38 with SMTP id 38so2480801iwn.26 for <conor.ryan@ul.ie>; Thu, 19 May 2011 07:38:26 -0700 (PDT) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:mime-version:from:date:message-id:subject:to:cc :content-type:content-transfer-encoding; bh=F3OPL6I+igh2WQrrdfpcjBTfvN1n8FkU5gKtpWJTGHE=; b=IRqgYxpRLkUpB3QjtHWsCgpq5OS19mGLBuddLrOYCXrj5hJnTQdmSREUablJy4MTZp 2vavWHVWHW6hf1putfKQNUOq2Qi92GzqrTv/5cGGetXJI2y7NrgFIbqX0UWRSyhl7r1H T7rlB7q5SAK8S1h3kra2tj7eulOaFOMl6whyMDomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=mime-version:from:date:message-id:subject:to:cc:content-type :content-transfer-encoding; b=DkKIMRsWBLdPu6XXWeTPpVW7pRyJ1jgeQMw+T6Rd0J2UInGwUqkD/pZ8y3a/skBLnK 7ZkRzTIEZwhcK/vvkcgDSRmYatDBOi1uCVVkNAI0pu7HJYjrmHo2JUAWSPuSPglftiMw /jBMbrrzY7zmD3jma56N8tEaIfomZHa2mWkEYReceived: by with SMTP id h9mr3978016icp.112.1305815906209; Thu, 19 May 2011 07:38:26 -0700 (PDT) MIME-Version: 1.0 Received: by with HTTP; Thu, 19 May 2011 07:37:46 -0700 (PDT) Date: Thu, 19 May 2011 15:37:46 +0100 Message-ID: <BANLkTinY2a+NvL=MYuYhmZ=4VMoS7BsRXg@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, TomHenderson <th4@rice.edu>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable X-OriginalArrivalTime: 19 May 2011 14:38:22.0368 (UTC) FILETIME= [67456A00:01CC1632]

you plan on inviting them all there?

Jerrick: [Looks at Dur in disbelief] Well, by going door to door, of course!


Charlie: Perhaps we could go around announcing that Clementine is coming to visit? Maybe we could draw everyone into the town square and show them the bodies? That might shock them into reality?


Alice: [To Jerrick] Good idea, although maybe we should get them all together first, like say in a pub, or some place, and tell them that we'll be going door to door to tell them something. That way we can be sure they'll all be home when we come. [To Charlie] How about we tell them we need them to go pick flowers for Clementine, and that because the flowers are so big, they need swords?!


Austin : SOunds good so far.


Jerrick: Ok so we get everyone together in one place to tell them to be home when we come round so we can tell them we want to get them all together in one place to tell them to pick flowers for Clementine. With alcohol. And swords. Excellent, sounds like a plan!


Alice: I know! A bunch of loaded swords in the hands of people who haven't drank alcohol in weeks -- what could possibly go wrong?


Charlie: [Firmly] There will be no alcohol involved. We just need to gather everyone outside, soberly, and show them the bodies and the slugs. Once they realize the danger they face, they will surely be receptive to our helpful suggestions as to their personal safety, etc. [Brightly] Now, shall we go up and down the streets, calling out "Clementine is coming!" ?


Jerrick: [Nods at Charlie] Right, sure. Just don't forget the alcohol - once they realise the gravity of the situation, everyone will need a drink!


Charlie: [Primly] Not until they've finished their slugs!


Jerrick: Reminds me of my mother. [Adopts a whiny old-woman voice] Jerrick, you're not allowed to have your whiskey until you've had your greens. Don't make that face at me, young man! [Remembers where he is] Er, right. Anyways, I'm allergic to molluscs.


Mac: Charlie, you saw how blindly Joe wouldn't believe it was the slugs, what makes you so sure everyone else will believe us?


Clint: Why don't we run up and down the streets shouting "Clementine is coming! Meet up in Dyslexia!" or somewhere where people can be looked after?

;;; I've always wanted to run up and down the streets at, say, 2:00 in

the morning yelling "The British are coming! The British are coming!"

but I think it would get me arrested.


Charlie: [To Mac] I'm not the least bit sure, but the Bliss doesn't make people stupid. Surely if we show enough people what's happening, some of them will understand that they are in danger. And, in any case, Joe is a public official and inclined to lie, not to mention a fanatical sort, so perhaps he is rather a hard test case.

;;; What American hasn't?! That's the REAL

;;; American dream! ; )


Jerrick: But it's important to get them drunk first - they're more susceptible to persuasion.

;;; Yeah, we're coming for ya!


Clint: Yeah, but blackberries? I think we'll be better off lying to the public rather than telling them the truth and trusting them to do the smart thing. It worked for HARMA, after all!

;;; Point!


Alice: But where are we going to get the alcohol? Or is this just a thinly veiled attempt to get alcohol for yourself?


Jerrick: [Shocked] Alice, how could you say such a thing? It is not a thinly veiled attempt to get alcohol for myself - it is a rather cleverly veiled attempt to get alcohol for myself!


Charlie: [To Alice] More like a completely transparent attempt! [To Jerrick] You can drink yourself silly after we've resolved the current crises at hand, but for now we need you--and the populace--to remain sober and clear-eyed.


Alice: [Thinks for a moment] Well, I must admit, I respect that. However, Charlie's right, it doesn't make any sense to have the townspeople drunk, as they do need to be able to defend themselves.


Mac: I don't, I just think it shows him up for the alcoholic he is. I think as a caring group we should help our newest member kick his problematic habit.


Alice: Problematic habit? You mean, as well as being an alcoholic, he has a problematic habit too? Oh no!


Tony #67

Jerrick: [Scowling] You people need to learn the meaning of morale. [To Charlie] You said I could drink myself silly later though, right? I'll hold you to that! [To Mac] And if I hear that kind of talk again, something else will get kicked.


Clint: Hell, this group is held together by our problematic habits! Drinking, lying, theft, extortion, murder, marrying demons, wearing boring underwear...


Mac: [To Alice, slowly] No, the alcoholism *is* the problematic habit. [To Jerrick, cautiously watching his hands to see if they go to his sword] Sailor boy, you're so drunk you're probably seeing two of me.


Charlie: [Sniff] I hardly make a habit of marrying demons!


Jerrick: [To Charlie, with a shudder] Or wearing boring underwear. [To Mac] No, I'm sober - that's the problem. Though the thought of seeing two of *you* doesn't sound that appealing.


Mac: You've been drinking from your flask all morning and you're still sober? You've got a bigger problem than I realised.

;;; Out for a few hours


Jerrick: Nonsense! There was at least five minutes about an hour ago where I didn't drink at all!


Clint: You sure that flask's not full of iced tea or something really musical theater like that?


Alice: It's the urine of some sort of Wrapper -- you know, he's part of a gang who go around to super markets helping people pack up their shopping and then help bring it out to their carriages. Supposedly drinking it makes you wrap faster.


Last from Conor 75

Jerrick: [Gapes in disbelief] And somehow *I'm* the one with the drinking problem?!?


Clint: What, just because some people drink urine? There's a whole great big glorious nation across the ocean of people who drink urine and pretend it's beer!


Jerrick: Well that's why I stick to the real stuff. [Holds up his flask]


Alice: So you drink beer and pretend it's urine?


Charlie: Do put that away and focus on the task at hand! Now, group, let us go through the streets calling out "Clementine is coming! Follow us!" Then, we'll lead everyone to the alleged blackberry victims, explain the situation, and explain to them that Clementine is coming and we must protect her from the slug menace!


Jerrick: Exactly!


Alice: Right! Let's go! [Starts shouting] Follow is coming! Clementine us! Coming is Clementine, us follow! [Stops] Hm, this is tougher than I thought.


Charlie: Yes, well, perhaps we should all do it at the same time, and also while walking through the more populated areas of Queens View?


[Exit ALL, shouting loudly.]

;;; End of scene, next one coming right up.


[Book VII, Act X, Scene VII. The Town Square in Queens View. ALICE, AUSTIN, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR, JERRICK and MAC are here, being followed by hundreds of people, all of whom are excited about the news of Clementine's imminent arrival. One of the townspeople, KIRA SHAKELY calls out to the party.]

Kira: When is she coming and what can we do to make her visit better?


Charlie: [Reassuringly] All sorts of really nice things, but first we must address a serious problem! [Calls out the crowd] Excuse me! Could we have your attention for a moment?


Kira: Yes! Sure! You can have my attention!

[In perfect sequence, every single person in the square affirms that the party has their full attention. Ten minutes later, everyone has confirmed their attention.]

Alice: [Mutters to Charlie] Let's be careful not to ask them any questions! [To the others] Okay?

Kira: Yes! Okay!

[Once again, in perfect sequence, every single person in the square agrees that they shouldn't be asked any questions. Seven minutes later, everyone is finished.]

Alice: [To the party] See what I mean!


Jerrick: [Quietly, to Charlie] So here's where you bring everyone's attention to the serious alcohol shortage, right?


Charlie: [To Jerrick, in a low voice] Do control yourself! I am starting to think Mac is right about you! [In a loud voice, to the audience] Thank you! Now, I am sorry to say there has been a horrid infestation of rather peculiar slugs in our happy little town, and that these slugs are terribly dangerous and vicious. Of course, this is only their nature, but we cannot allow them to kill our friends and neighbors. Or worse, pose a threat to our beloved Clementine, who will be here practically any minute!


Kira: Oh, I'm sure we can befriend the slugs, it's probably just a misunderstanding.

[The crowd seem to agree. BERNARD MACBERNIE, who the party met last night, speaks up.]

Bernard: And if Clementine wants to give them a chance at taking over, then I, for one, welcome our new slug overlords.


Mac: [Whispers to Charlie] Hate to say it, but told you so.


Charlie: [Glares at Mac and whispers] Well, do come up with another plan, by all means! [To the audience, loudly] Fellow citizens, we cannot tolerate these attacks! Many have already been killed. You know that Clementine would never support such behavior. [Urgently] And how will you feel if these creatures attack her when she arrives, when with a bit of pre-planning, we could have stopped them?


Kira: As long as Clementine was okay with it, which she surely would be, so would I.

Bernard: Me too!

[This ripples through the crowd.]

Alice: I don't think they're going to go for it. Maybe we should have a more Blissful mission for them to do?


Mac: [Quietly to Charlie] I already have! We get the hell out of here and find a way to stop Clementine as soon as possible. We can't help those who don't want to be saved and the more we try to the more time we waste and the more of them die.


Charlie: [To Mac, sighs] You're right, of course, and it may come to that. But do let's make that Plan B! [To Alice] Such as? What blissful acts would also allow them to fight vicious slug demons?


Jerrick: Such as? Oh, I know - they could start finding a new source of alcohol!


Austin : [Helpfully] Helping the poor lost slug demons get back to their own dimension?


Alice: We could tell them they need weapons for an important daisy cutting mission for Clementine. That way if the slugs attack again, they'll at least be able to defend themselves.


Charlie: [Dubiously] Fine, but I'm not sure they would actually defend themselves, even if armed! [To the audience] Friends, it is time to prepare for Clementine's arrival! Find your daggers and swords and use them to harvest lots of beautiful flowers, so that we might decorate the town with them! [Claps her hands] Go on, chop chop!


Jerrick: Hmmm, well what would they do if we tried to defend them from a slug attack?


Charlie: Join us, one would hope! What do you think, that we should try to incite a slug attack while we have their attention?


Dur: Sure, if you want to witness a masacre first hand. I don't know that these people would defend themselves at all. [Tries to emphasize his point b= y slugging the nearest civilian in the face] From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with HTTP; Fri, 20 May 2011 06:41:10 -0700 (PDT) Date: Fri, 20 May 2011 14:41:10 +0100 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: 9W33yduxLV3vvfBybgaBwwWE3CM Message-ID: <BANLkTi=2OM_1paNzZT_mf5_dUkUENZZ5MA@mail.gmail.com> To: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com> Cc: John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

Alice: Maybe we should just hope that no slugs attack them, just in case. We could probably observe them from a distance and intervene if they need it?

[The townspeople charge out into the countryside, waving swords, rakes and other instruments of daisy destruction.]

;;; Gone for the weekend!


[DUR punches BERNARD in the face. Most of the people don't see it, but those that do, stop and watch.]

Bernard: Ow! What did you do that for?

;;; Okay, now I'm really gone.


Charlie: [To Bernard, affecting Bliss] Sorry, friend, it's just in his nature. He had a difficult upbringing, but not to worry--we are getting him help! [To the party, tugging at Dur's arm] Come along, group, let us take this poor soul to his group therapy session!

;;; Also gone for the day. See you guys on Monday!


Jerrick: Hmmm... Dur's experiment is interesting. No actually I wasn't suggesting we provoke a slug attack, I was just wondering whether these idiots would see us as the threat for attacking the slugs, even as the slugs are chewing their faces off.

;;; Maybe not - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_end_times_prediction


Charlie: [To Jerrick, in a low voice] Indeed, that could very well happen, so perhaps Mac is right and it's best that we leave. We've done all we can to encourage self-defense, so now we must try to come to some kind of consensus about what to do next [looks pointedly at Austin] .

;;; Whew! We made it!


Bernard: [To Charlie] Oh, that's okay. [Hugs Dur] I hope things get better for you.

Alice: [To Clint] Isn't Clementine on her way here?


Austin : Indeed, Mr Scar. [Casually chack his nails]


Charlie: [To Austin] And what do you suggest we say to her?


Clint: I realize this is a radical suggestion and ordinarily I'd be against it on principle, but maybe we should try the truth?


Jerrick: Whoah, the truth. You sure that's a good idea?


Austin : Why Mr Scar, you surpass yourself. I completely agree. Mrs Pestilence, do you agree?


Charlie: [To Austin] I do not, and I suggest we take this conversation back to the Colonel's home at once.


[There is some screaming from outside the town gate.]

Alice: The daisies are fighting back!


Clint: Thanks, lawyer. Anyway, Sarge here has the right idea. Let's get indoors and plan our next move from there.

;;; And here poor Clint is suggesting doing something good and moral for once,

;;; too!


Charlie: [Gasps] They're NOT really?!


Mac: [Sighs] Let's go [Heads towards the screams] .


Austin : [Smirks. To Alice] It could be the raspberries.


Alice: [Blows a raspberry at Austin] Maybe.

[The party race out to see that a bunch of people are being terrorized by a small, two foot tall demon that has clearly killed one of them. BERNARD, from before, is here.]

Bernard: [To the party] What's happening? We tried to talk to him but he attacked us!


Mac: [To Bernard] We tried to warn you that things weren't safe, but you chose to ignore us. [Turns to the rest of the party] Anyone know how hard this demon normally is?


Austin : [Loads his sling and shoots the demon] Get it before it kills again!


Jerrick: These people seem to be wising up at least. [To Bernard] Did you see where it came from?

;;; Will be posting sporadically today - crazily busy :(


Bernard: Behind that tree! What should we do? What?


Clint: What matters is where it's going! [Tries to drive the demon away from the rest of the citizens.] Go on, get out of here! Shoo!

;;; This "don't be all violent in front of the kiddies" thing is totally

;;; ruining my image!


Hi Conor. If no one is within splash damage range of the demon Mac is going to cast Fireball, else he casts magic missiles.


Alice: Great idea, Clint, take your shoe off, that's bound to scare him away!

[MAC casts a fireball which engulfs the demon. It runs around screaming.]

Alice: Yikes, now he's angry AND on fire!

[The demon is clearly badly hurt and in difficulty.]

;;; Don't worry Tom, it was bad to begin with!


Charlie: [Attacks the demon. To the people] Come along, defend yourselves, citizens!

;;; Consider the course, Tom!


Jerrick: We should check behind that tree - see if there's a portal or something. Or maybe see if there's more of them.


Austin : [Shoots the demon again] Kill the demon!


[AUSTIN shoots at the demon and hits him once, while each of CHARLIE and ALICE attack him with their swords.]

Bernard: [Taking out his own sword] Should we attack it?

[JERRICK looks behind the tree, but there is no evidence of any more. Yet!]


Jerrick: [To Bernard] Yes, yes, defend yourselves! At least try to scare it away! [Goes to assist the party]


Austin : [To Bernard] Yes! It is trying to kill innocent people!


Austin : Kill it [Shoots the demon again] It is a demon! An instrument of evil!

;;; classic quote for b-movie horror fans :)

;;; sorry, could not resist.


[Some of the people join with the attack, and soon the demon is dead.]

Bernard: Wow, that was awful! I hope we never, ever have to do that again!


Jerrick: Instrument of evil? You mean like a ukulele?

;;; Sorry, neither could I!


Charlie: I'm terribly afraid you will, so you must be prepared! We have been encountering dangerous creatures like these and others all day.


Bernard: Oh, I'm sure that once Clementine comes, she'll be able to sort it all out. Her carriage will be here soon.

Alice: [To the party] Carriage? Surely she should just be able to zap around the place?


Austin : [To Alice, curious] Why should she be able to 'zap'?


Charlie: Perhaps she enjoys being able to mix with the people as she goes? In any case, I think we should go somewhere private and discuss our next move, as the party is not yet in agreement.


Jerrick: Are we in agreement about the need to be in agreement?


Charlie: [To Jerrick] Certainly, one prefers agreement, but in the case that agreement cannot be reached, assurances must be given that any outliers do not intend to thwart the majority--or attempt to imprison colleagues. [Narrows her eyes at Austin] Just as an example.


Austin : Mrs Pestilence, I told you that I had no intention of imprisoning you. it was merely a ruse to get you and the rest of the party, safely away from here.


Charlie: [Sharply] Mr. Sleaze, you have twice now referred to me as [finger quotes] Mrs. Pestilence. Why?


Mac: [Quietly to Charlie] Perhaps because you're married to Pestilence?


Austin : [Suprised] Because I thought you were married to a Mr Pestilence Sotot? And that usually would mean that the appropriate formal manner in which to address you would be Mrs Pestilence Sotot, but since we are getting to know each other, I dared to used the more familiar term Mrs Pestilence. If it is not to your liking I can use a more formal shortening of Mrs Sotot, or something else? Unless of course you have chosen to maintain your maiden name, for some reason?


Jerrick: Is this really the best time to have this conversation?

;;; Out for an hour or so


Dur: [Sarcasticly] What else would they be talking about at a time like this.


Charlie: [To Jerrick] You're quite right. At the moment, the most important question before us is this. [Looks at Austin] If you are the only one of us in disagreement about the way to handle our current situation, will you join us or oppose us?


Alice: [To Austin] I thought she might be able to zap because she is a godlike figure who was powerful enough to give the entire world visions. It just seems surprising that she has to travel by carriage. And, once and for all, [to Charlie and Austin] Austin, are you really claiming that everything you said about Charlie being a [finger quotes] murderous villain and brain washed, not to mention pulling a dagger on the rest of us, was all part of the ruse?


Austin : Well the dagger was no ruse, I thought that my life was being threatened. Appart from that yes. I have a reputation to maintain, and I do not take it lightly when someone publicly suggests that I am a willing accomplis to a murder plot.


Alice: Hm, that doesn't make any sense, Aus. No one said they wanted to murder Clementine, YOU said that Charlie did, and when she said she didn't, you then pulled a dagger on us, before calling us all idiots because we didn't somehow guess your plan. So, and please give me a straight answer, do you think any of the rest of us are murderous, back-stabbing villains who are trying to hurt you? If the answer is no, then for the love of GOD, please just let it go. [To Charlie] And you, Charlie, if he doesn't believe that you're a brainwashed murdering whatever, will you accept that it was all a ruse?



Charlie: Yes, for the sake of peace! [To Austin] Well, Mr. Sleaze?


Austin : [Indignantly] I never said the rest of you were murderous, and if you want me to let it go then stop asking me questions about it. I was bored with the discussion long ago. [Rolls his eyes. Readies his sling shot and looks around for any sneaky demons]

;;;awa hame


Jerrick: So if you're all done fighting each other, should we figure out who the real enemy is so we can fight them?


Alice: That's what we're trying to do, Jer!

;;; Let's give Dom a few more minutes as he's probably

;;; afk. Then I'll do an Aus post so we can get

;;; moving again. It'll be true to him, basically saying

;;; how great Alice is!


Austin: Alice, your question was so inarticulate I cannot decipher it. However, I can unequivocally state that I do not believe Dr. Parker Kensington or the rest of you to be possessed or to be murderous, back-stabbing villains.

Alice: Wow. That's about the nicest thing I've ever heard you say, Austin. [To the others] Okay, so getting back to this demon problem, what should we --

[ALICE is interrupted by another blood curdling scream, this time from behind another tree.]

Alice: [Irritated] Tut! Are we EVER going to get to talk about this?


Jerrick: [Affecting an Austin voice] Yes I know, dying people are sooooo inconsiderate. [In his normal voice] Shall we go see who's being eaten alive this time?


Alice: Oh. I thought we might stay here and waste some time for a while.

[The party rush the scene, and spot KIRA, from before, being savaged by another BEAGAN DEMON.]

Kira: Help! Help! I only tried to hug it!


Charlie: [Rushes to attack the demon. To Kira] Move away, and do stop hugging demons!


Kira: I can't move away! My foot is in his mouth!

Alice: Then hop away!

Kira: Oh, okay. [Tries to hop away]


Mac: [Also attacks the demon]


[Everyone attacks the demon, and kill him without too much difficulty. This time, one or two of the townspeople join in with the attack.]

;;; The party's bliss is now officially gone. Everyone

;;; is back to normal, with each other and with

;;; NPCs


Bernard: [One of those who helped] Wow! That was intense! [To the party] You know, if everyone from the town joined in, we might stand a chance.


Charlie: [Drily] What a good idea. Perhaps you could help us encourage the others to defend themselves?


Bernard: Sure thing! [Pauses] Say, do you think Clementine would approve? She is very anti-violent, but they are killing people.


Jerrick: Wouldn't she disapprove of the demons being violent? After all, we are only defending ourselves


Kira: [Lying on the ground, missing a foot] And they don't respond well to hugs!


Dur: I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Clementine would approve ofus defending ourselves.=


Bernard: Alright! Let's do some defending!

[More screams can be heard off to another side.]

Bernard: I'll lead the way! [Charges over, but stops suddenly] Oh, there are hundreds of them!


Charlie: [Horrified] Hundreds?! How ARE they coming here?


Clint: Taxi?


Charlie: [Dramatically] Well, I think they will find that their [huge emphasis] toll in Queens View will be quite high! [Raises her sword] To the demon horde, group!


Clint: I have a bad feeling about this! [Looks around for demons in the vicinity.]


Alice: Yes, it'll be very cabbing! [Thinks for a moment] I mean taxi-ing!


Austin : [Slingshot at the ready] And in what manner do you suppose that they might use the revenue gain thereof? [Chuckles at his own joke]


Charlie: Rise up, townspeople! Defend Queens View! [Goes to attack the demons]


Clint: To hell with that, get these demons out of here before they hurt Clementine! [Goes to attack the demons.]


Jerrick: With this many demons, they should really have hired a coach. Or several. [Attacks a demon]


Clint: I'm glad they didn't. They're doing well enough as it is without hiring someone to get them in shape and teach them tactics and organization!


[The party all engage demons, who are pretty tough, but unlikely to hurt the party too badly. There are thousands of them, coming in waves, but many have already engaged the townspeople. JACK HAMMER arrives at the scene.]

Jack: Clementine is here! Clementine is here!


Charlie: [To the party] We are running out of time, group! We have to decide our course of action.

;;; Out for about an hour!


[The demons are so numerous that they are starting to push the townspeople back.]

Alice: Well, whatever we're doing now isn't going to stop them!


Austin : I have a very very bad feeling about this. I don't think Clem is on our side judging by her entourage of demons.


Alice: So what do we do? Staying here isn't going to stop them, it'll just delay them!


Jerrick: We could run like five hundred demons are after us. Because, well, they are.


Mac: As I've said before, we have to get out of here! [Starts moving towards Harvey's]


Charlie: All right, let's try to make it to Harvey's so we can form a plan, but I think we all know what we must do, and delaying will only make things worse!


Austin : We could circle round behind them and see what Clementine is up to?


Alice: So, you think Clementine is behind them? I thought Jack said that she was in Queens View?

;;; Gone to lunch!


Austin : Yes but he did not say where about in Queens View, perhaps she is behind the demons?


Jerrick: Or she could be in front of the demons.


Alice: Or she could be in Queens View.

[Remember, the party are outside Queens View, between the demons and the town.]


Charlie: Right, let's go into town and try to find Clementine. [Heads toward Queens View]


Dur: At least we can possibly get some answers! [Follows Charlie] From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with HTTP; Tue, 24 May 2011 05:57:58 -0700 (PDT) Date: Tue, 24 May 2011 13:57:58 +0100 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: MUezI7PG9a5QrJXr4Daz4qsYVUo Message-ID: <BANLkTikWv14HDtOJkJ89k11rFFQo5w0n9g@mail.gmail.com> To: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com> Cc: John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

[Exit the party, in to Queens View.]

Bernard: [To the townspeople] Come, comrades! Let us defend our town and Clementine from these awful demons. With Clementine on our side, we can't lose! Once more, unto the --

[Chomp. A demon bites BERNARD's head off.]

;;; End of scene, next one coming right up


Austin : [Blinks Heads towards Queens View] Do you think she will have popcorn?

;;;; Awww sorry didn't know we were outside QV, very difficult to keep

track of where we are sometimes!


[Book VII, Act X, Scene VIII. The Streets of Queens View. ALICE, AUSTIN, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR, JERRICK and MAC are here, having just arrived back. The streets are virtually deserted, although they can see a horseman approaching from the other gate (not where the demons are coming from). The horse approaches at speed and skids to a halt in front of them. The rider is PESTILENCE. He leaps off.]

Pestilence: Hi gang! [Goes to kiss Charlie]


Dur: [Screams like a girl before taking a deep, relieved breath] Sorry. Sometimes I forget you are on our side.=


Charlie: [Gives Pestilence a quick kiss and awkwardly pulls away] As usual, your timing is extraordinary, darling! We could really use your help.

;;; Too funny, Kevin!


Jerrick: Hey, Pesti. Any idea what Clementine's up to here?


Alice: Wait a minute! Pestilence is on our side? Cool!

Pestilence: [To Jerrick] Haven't a clue, probably spreading bliss or something. [To Charlie] Sure thing, I'd be happy to -- hey, what happened to your wedding ring?


Charlie: [To Pestilence, quietly] There's no time to talk about that now. There are hundreds of demons on the edge of town, and we simply must go see Clementine. Would you please go and help the townsfolk fight the demons?


Dur: [Emphasizing] That was help the TOWNSFOLK fight the DEMONS, by the way. Please don't get confused in the melee.=20

;;; Thanks Heather, I have my moments! :pFrom qvblogger

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Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>,

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Pestilence: Hm. [Looks at the party] Okay, we'll talk later. [Leaps onto his horse and rides off towards the battle]


Charlie: [Watches Pestilence go with a sigh] All right, group, let's go find Clementine.


Alice: Okay, before we do that, what are we going to say? Should we just see if she knows what's going on?


Jerrick: As good as anything else I suppose.


Mac: Does lambs to the slaughter mean nothing to you guys? If she *is* behind these attacks she's hardly about to tell us, more likely just to have us killed. And if she's not behind them then we need to kill her anyway because it's an inadvertent effect of the bliss and I highly doubt she's willing to throw months of planning and scheming to get the power she now has down the drain because we ask nicely!


Alice: So what do you suggest? Maybe we should throw Charlie in jail?

;;; Joke!


Charlie: [Looking around, keeping her voice low] Agreed, our only course of action is to fulfill the prophecy, and as quickly as possible to minimize loss of life. [To the rest of the party] What about the rest of you? Does anyone else have a suggestion, or are we now ALL in agreement?


Austin : [Casually checking his nails] Well if we hang around any longer she might die of old age.


Jerrick: Is there a third option of nobody having a better idea, but also not being in agreement?


Alice: [To Jerrick] I think the answer to your question is yes!

[Around the corner come CLEMENTINE and JOE NUNPAR, as well as several others who are part of CLEMENTINE's entourage.]

Joe: Ah, there they are!

Clementine: [Gives the party a warm smile] My friends! Bliss be with you.


Austin : Welcome back! Bliss would be nice, but unfortunately there are a huge number of demons comming this way, killing everyone in their path! [Sighs]


Clementine: [Looking concerned] Oh. That's worrying. Did anyone try to hug them?

;;; Gone for an hour!


Charlie: [To Clementine] Sadly, yes! It didn't end well, I'm afraid. [To Joe, urgently] Could you mobilize some of your staff to assist the townspeople with the defense of the town?


Austin : Yes, unfortunately rather alot of people tried to hug them, most are dead, but one is just missing limbs. Do you know what is going on? Why these little demons have so much power?


Jerrick: [Nods at Charlies words] Particularly the pub - definitely needs defending. In fact, shall we go and defend it now?


Joe: Of course we'll help defend the town, although, most of my men have left on account of the bliss. [To Jerrick] The pub no longer exists, it became a hugging room a few weeks ago.

Clementine: [To Austin] I don't know. Maybe because they're demons?


Dur: The question shouldn't be where the pub is, but where the drink is being stored.=


Joe: Yes, yes it probably should. [Pause] Right, I'll see if I can get my people together to help shore up the defences.


Charlie: [To Clementine, hopefully] I don't suppose there's anything you could do about these rampaging demons?


Clementine: I wish there was, Charlie, but my powers haven't been what they were since the Bliss came.


Dur: Why are your powers affected by the bliss?From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with SMTP id o5cs76233icz; Tue, 24 May 2011 09:51:14 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with SMTP id fi17mr3572588wbb.106.1306255873209; Tue, 24 May 2011 09:51:13 -0700 (PDT) Return-Path: <heather.goggans@gmail.com> Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id o38si13616226wba.108.2011.; Tue, 24 May 2011 09:51:13 -0700 (PDT) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of heather.goggans@gmail.com) client-ip=; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of heather.goggans@gmail.com) smtp.mail=heather.goggans@gmail.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@gmail.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4ddbe1fb0004>; Tue, 24 May 2011 17:51:07 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id p4OGpBp1017158 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Tue, 24 May 2011 17:51:11 +0100 Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4ddbe1fb0000>; Tue, 24 May 2011 17:51:07 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL5.ul.ie ( [] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Tue, 24 May 2011 17:50:20 +0100 Received: from mail-gw0-f53.google.com (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4ddbe1cc0000>; Tue, 24 May 2011 17:50:20 +0100 Received: by gwj20 with SMTP id 20so3218611gwj.26 for <conor.ryan@ul.ie>; Tue, 24 May 2011 09:50:22 -0700 (PDT) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc :content-type; bh=1q8ZRi78ZybP/Mw9r7KOntw+8h4xoVA5B7EnSeb3xWU=; b=TnMBdMmUbJxAoq++AcseU8cgAGD0PDv5OpHiTablc3wTthNoeN0J7lZvLOSEEOLTiz OVZj9nM/p+yet5wW2vTzEAYpC+DuRCutA3yHZeOpsJHlF4L18X4gw2nXZwuIm/7puTKE 2y0jt0g9cbWJ1ZIW0lSGL0OJXjQR5uda+bXnADomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc:content-type; b=W+SNu8P7cS9/fyLjVr+FC73ZgqfC9vF35S5+Zf3RIArDOGLel2j0Li2te9Vbd+65KY FB+5kBAgz7rdqCpzv3SNk4kFDWqapaQYZDJW31COHKAP4feEURHBR++OXgnfOMl1Honn DIpG4MHM+1HngygcunEvo9D6LOBMbbAPjyR4kMIME-Version: 1.0 Received: by with SMTP id j15mr2855678agc.188.1306255822320; Tue, 24 May 2011 09:50:22 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with HTTP; Tue, 24 May 2011 09:50:22 -0700 (PDT) Date: Tue, 24 May 2011 17:50:22 +0100 Message-ID: <BANLkTi=d+sjNjurscNTrfLarximMmbBq=Q@mail.gmail.com> To: Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie> Cc: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, dom <djmalzie@gmail.com>, Vel Angelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 24 May 2011 16:50:20.0818 (UTC) FILETIME= [AB19BF20:01CC1A32]

Charlie: [To Clementine, sympathetically] No? How dreadful! Have you any idea why?


Jerrick: Could it be to do with the pub being gone? That always makes me feel bad too.


Clementine: Oh no, Jerrick, nothing like that. [To the party in general] It is because I made the Bliss. [Smiles] It was worth it, though, to give my gift to the world.

;;; Gone for the day, and no more

;;; posting until THURSDAY


Charlie: [Smiles a bit guiltily] And what a wonderful gift it has been. We've all been so very happy! [Carefully] So, are you now just an ordinary human, like the rest of us? And the Bliss isn't something you control, rather it just exists?


Clint: And it doesn't, say, make demons in the next dimension over kind of... ornery?


Clementine: Oh, that's okay, Clint. What's a little bit of trouble from the neighbours when we're all so happy? [To Charlie] No, Charlie, it doesn't work like that, I used up most of my power to create it. And I'm not *just* an ordinary human, I'm proud to be almost ordinary.


Clint: It's just that, you see, the neighbors are coming over here and killing people. Lots of people. Being happy isn't nearly as much fun when you're dead. Probably, anyway.


Clementine: Surely a short, happy life is better than a long, miserable one?

;;; In a meeting for an hour. May get

;;; some posts in depending on whether

;;; or not I can hide


Clint: But a long, happy life would be even better. Anyway, people seem strangely attached to living, which used to cause all sorts of problems in our line of work before the Bliss, your, uh... blissfulness.


Charlie: [To Clementine] Well, we should let you go on about your business! We really must get going. [To the party, scolding] My slideshow of 500 of the very best pictures of Wilhelmina won't just view itself, you know! [Starts heading for Harvey's]


Mac: Oh yes! I've been most looking forward to seeing it.


Clint: Oh, Charlie, you really shouldn't have! [Shoots Charlie a glare so that Clementine can't see it.]


Jerrick: [Checks his flask] Don't worry, Clint - I plan to find my own kind of bliss shortly. And mourn the loss of the pub.


Austin : [To Clementine] I hope you do not mind me asking, but, since everyone dies eventually, including your good self, will the Bliss last forever, or will it die with you? How does it work?


Alice: [Winces at Charlie's words] Do we have to? Can't we face thousands of savage demons instead?

Clementine: [Gives Austin a big smile] Don't worry, Austin. The Bliss is channeled through me, but I'll make sure to channel it through someone else before I die.


Charlie: [To Clementine] What a relief! How will you decide where to channel it? [To Alice, with a sniff] Just for that, you won't be getting your Wilhelmina Loves Auntie Alice tote bag for Philimas!


Austin : [To Clementine] Well, if you ever need me to be the channel I'll be around somewhere hopefully!


Clementine: Of course, Austin.


Alice: Whoohoo! [Calms down] I mean, oh no.

Clementine: It has been wonderful to see you all again. Now I must go and talk to Joe, although he wants to meet in the hugging room rather than the mayor's house. He thinks I'll be upset at the sight of blood, but he forgets, I was married to an arch-demon for over a thousand years.


Jerrick: Wait we're banking all our hopes on Austin? Ok well hopefully I'll be somewhere else.


Austin : [Curiously] Oh, which demon was that?


Alice: That was Mr. Madoff -- he ran a hell dimension that we were trapped in while you were dead.

;;; That was 6.10. When the party were trapped in

;;; an office-based hell, working on "The Project"

;;; to produce "The Object".

;;; Gone for THREE hours!


Charlie: [To Austin] She was married to Mr. Madoff. We met him when we were working on the The Project and The Object, etc? Hm, perhaps you were dead at the time. [To Clementine] Splendid to see you, as well! Do enjoy your time in Queens View. [To the party] Let us be off, group!


Clementine: Thank you, Charlie. Bye!

[Exit CLEMENTINE, while the party head back to HARVEY's house.]

Alice: Well, what do we think?

;;; Really gone now!


Austin : So what was Mr Madoff like? he sounds quite boring. It seems like I missed quite alot of boring stuff when I was dead. [Smiles] Being dead does have it's benefits after all.


Charlie: [To Austin] He was a ruthless businessman and a demon of the cruelest sort. [Adds curtly] I would hardly characterize the experience as boring.


Jerrick: [With a raised eyebrow] Your type of guy then?


Austin : I see. Boring for some, but not all. [Chuckles]


Charlie: [To Jerrick, coolly] You know next to nothing about me and less than that about Pestilence, so do let us keep this discussion professional and leave my private life out of it. [To the party] Well, group? What do we do now??


Austin : Ask Clem to stop channeling the bliss.


Charlie: That's an idea, but she didn't seem the least bit concerned about the demon attacks. How would we convince her to stop channeling?


Alice: And even if she did want to stop it, can she? After all, she said she's almost a normal person now.


Mac: On the plus side, if it does come down to killing her then her being almost normal will make things easier.


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Alice: So, what do we do? Tell her she has to stop the bliss? It's kind of giving her a warning, isn't it?

;;; in and out for next

;;; few hours


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Jerrick: And what does 'almost normal' mean anyway? Is she still special in some way that might be useful, or is it just that she likes line-dancing?


Charlie: [To Alice] Agreed, we cannot discuss it with her. [To Mac] But just killing her might not stop the bliss, if she's capable of just channeling it to another person. If we kill her, we have to be sure it will stop the bliss, otherwise she'll die for nothing. But how can we be sure?


Last from Heather 52

Austin : That is why I asked her to pass it on to me. Then I could stop it, and not pass it on to anyone else. Perhaps we could convince her to pass it to one of us?


Jerrick: But isn't the point that the Bliss is unbalancing the Realms and causing the demons to come through? Don't we need to stop the Bliss and return life to what it was before Clementine started it? [Raising his voice] Return to a time when there were bloody pubs, for crying out loud!!!


Mac: That's actually not a bad idea. But how can we get her to give us the bliss without her dying? And if she has to die then who can we get to kill her because she won't give us the bliss if we kill her.


Austin : I just said that we could stop the Bliss if one of us took the channeling from Clem.


Last from dom

Alice: what makes you think that you could stop it if clementine can't?


Dur: And what happens if we can't stop it?From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by with SMTP id r16cs60831qca; Thu, 26 May 2011 06:38:05 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with SMTP id y8mr839966weq.76.1306417084420; Thu, 26 May 2011 06:38:04 -0700 (PDT) Return-Path: <djmalzie@gmail.com> Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id z73si1401524weq.128.2011.; Thu, 26 May 2011 06:38:04 -0700 (PDT) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of djmalzie@gmail.com) client-ip=; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: is neither permitted nor denied by domain of djmalzie@gmail.com) smtp.mail=djmalzie@gmail.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@gmail.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dde57b10001>; Thu, 26 May 2011 14:37:53 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id p4QDc39g018945 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Thu, 26 May 2011 14:38:03 +0100 Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dde57b10000>; Thu, 26 May 2011 14:37:53 +0100 Received: from MARSHAL5.ul.ie ( [] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Thu, 26 May 2011 14:37:53 +0100 Received: from mail-ew0-f53.google.com (Not Verified [] ) by MARSHAL5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4dde57b10000>; Thu, 26 May 2011 14:37:53 +0100 Received: by ewy8 with SMTP id 8so273924ewy.26 for <conor.ryan@ul.ie>; Thu, 26 May 2011 06:38:00 -0700 (PDT) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc :content-type; bh=fSW2clCvhWNZer1PD39IYAabtaD0+XCGhJVIt6DtOX4=; b=mwFV97Df4PCLoMX1uT66Iv9ZnVq0dkRK24sU7oVuf3Q56e6UlVqJ7wml+ChR6AmgF1 RWY8yQC9gpJ7pJMTyw5knwScAoLZRWhr+fL/HpC1ibxR5MuutFZP0ptnH4RDn9u6ALZV 8u+yr6lCG3om5R/HZVhlGScq+zxUpXVoVjp6EDomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc:content-type; b=viBw+QotnW7QAQXpFxphvXJ9A/KBF8DAOi3e9ZZH9g6IkW4dBU1ANHA93FlPQ6D7fG RnyZCNGe6t095lxH2MjeotnfhuGtYFn/EXvd4+ffrN5DLroDEOJtNb21wCHCwYKmj+Af TAhIhSjr+Y0w41gdoWbJMmcjLNGiqsa+h7cz4MIME-Version: 1.0 Received: by with SMTP id o52mr339388eef.152.1306417080653; Thu, 26 May 2011 06:38:00 -0700 (PDT) Received: by with HTTP; Thu, 26 May 2011 06:38:00 -0700 (PDT) Date: Thu, 26 May 2011 14:38:00 +0100 Message-ID: <BANLkTimUjf3gj4BpH4++q9djn2fzDyAGjA@mail.gmail.com> To: Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie> Cc: John Ludlow <john.ludlow.uk@gmail.com>, Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, VelAngelus <velangelus1@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, "Day,Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, ColinDinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Colin <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, djmalzie <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 26 May 2011 13:37:53.0375 (UTC) FILETIME= [1D1D46F0:01CC1BAA]

Austin : We can not pass it on to someone else when we die.


Last from Kevin

Jerrick: Based on current evidence, everyone dies horribly and in a very un-blissful like manner - by which I mean sober.


Alice: [To Austin] How do you know? Maybe being what channels it is what gives you the ability. God knows you don't spread much bliss these days! Anyway= , I thought she said she would pass it on before she died, not as she was dying.=


yway, I thought she said she would pass it on before she died, not as she was dying.

Charlie: [Grimly] Then, if we must kill her, we cannot allow her time to react.


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Alice: So, do we kill her? Or does austin talk to her?

;;; out another hour!


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Dur: We could compromise. We could kill her while Austin talks to her?



Charlie: I believe she must be killed, and quickly. If we try to talk to her, we only risk raising her suspicions.


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Alice: Well, Aus? You're the only one who seems to think we don't need to kill her. Do you have another suggestion? Or anyone else? This is the time to s= ay it.=20 --Apple-Mail-3--449756224 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit


Austin : What I meant was that we can choose not to pass on the channeling, Clem did give us the impression that she could choose to pass it on. [Sighs] One alternative is to let the demons kill thousands on inocents, there bye redressing the balance. The other option is that I can talk to her, explain the situation to her, and get her to reverse what she has done, if possible.


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Last from dom

Alice: How do you know you can choose to stop it? She can't. Tell us what you want to do.=20=

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Jerrick: She didn't say what would happen if it wasn't passed on. There's no reason to assume the bliss would end. I still think everyone getting absolutely smashed is a viable way to go. We just need to get hold of some booze.


Charlie: [To the party] And while we continue to argue, people are being slaughtered! This has gone on quite long enough. I will kill her myself, and that's the end of it. The rest of you stay here, if you wish, but I would be grateful for any support. [Heads toward the hugging room]


Alice: [Stands in front of Charlie] Hang on a sec, Charlie. Here's what I suggest. Austin, if you want to talk to Clementine, you go and do so, along with anyone who doesn't agree that we have no choice but to kill her. If that doesn't stop the killing outside, then we go and kill Clementine. [Looks around the room] And we ALL do it.

;;; Come on! Let's make a decision!


Clint: Sounds fine to me. As long as Charlie doesn't make me look at pictures of her kid while we wait.


Charlie: [Narrows her eyes at Clint] Sounds as if someone won't be getting his Wilhelmina Loves Uncle Clint baseball cap for Philimas! [To Alice] Fine, but we really must hurry! [Looks at Austin] Well, Mr. Sleaze?! Your move.


Clint: Eh, I'm sure the little rugrat loves Uncle Clint anyway. So how are we gonna do this, if worst comes to worst? Just feed Clem to a bunny slug?

;;; I suspect Clint would be a terrible influence on the child, which makes

;;; him the perfect uncle!


Alice: We all do it, Clint. We all stab her, so no one person gets blamed.

[The door swings open. Enter JACK HAMMER.]

Jack: Quickly! You've got to help us! The demons are pushing us back, they'll soon be in the town. People are dropping like flies!

Alice: But don't flies fly?

Jack: Not if they're dead!


Austin : [To Charlie] Why thank you Mrs Sotot, I shall talk to Clementine. [Goes off to talk to Clem]


Jerrick: Alright let's go see what we can do.


Clint: If only we still had a supply of whiskey, we wouldn't be having this problem! Either we could make fire bombs or we could just be all too drunk to care. See what evils come of cutting off the alcohol?


Jerrick: [Mournfully] I know Clint, I know. Troubled times, these.


Alice: Let's go see Clementine!


Jack: Phew, I think I'll just hide out here while the demons attack.

[Poof! A SLUG BUNNY appears and bites JACK's head off.]

;;; End of scene, next one coming right up


[Book VII, Act X, Scene IX. The Hugging Room. ALICE, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR, JERRICK and MAC are outside the window peering in. AUSTIN has just entered, and CLEMENTINE is here.]

Clementine: Ah, Austin. What can I do for you?

Alice: [To the party] This ought to be good!

;;; While this is going on, you can assume that the

;;; party can talk freely without being heard, unless

;;; you specifically say you want Clementine/Austin

;;; to hear you. However, the party can hear

;;; what Aus and Clem say


Mac: We still haven't got a plan for killing Clementine. Are just going to rush her and hope for the best?


Alice: She did say that she's almost a normal human, so yes, I guess that's what we'll do. Of course, if someone hit her with a fireball, that would be nice too, but I think it has to be quick. If she calls for help we're in trouble.


Clint: [Shrugs.] Toss a slug bunny in there with her?


Mac: [Looks a little regretful] Yea, I can kind of only cast that once a day... But that bunny slug sure got it, right?!


Alice: Damn! [To Clint] It's a pity we still don't have that flaming slug bunny, that would be a great thing to throw at her!


Jerrick: [To Mac, not impressed] You want to go back to Harveys and have a lie down?


Charlie: [Grimly] We'll ask for a group hug, then all strike her at once. It isn't pretty, but she'll be surrounded and it will be quick.


Mac: Hey! I can do more than a flaming fire ball!


Austin : [To Clementine, fixing her with his steely glare] I think we have a big problem. As far as I can tell your creation of Bliss has unbalanced the levels of good and evil in this dimension, greatly raising the levels of evil in the neighbouring dimensions. This has enabled the weakest of demons to become powerful, to travel into this dimension and kill thousands of innocents. As we speak there are thousands of demons invading Queens View, killing every living thing in their path. If you do not stop the Bliss, everyone will die! You must stop the Bliss now!

;;; Austin will attempt to use his power of dissuasion, if he still has it?


Alice: Jeez, Jerrick, it's sounds like you're the flaming one here!


Jerrick: [To Mac] Nice - such as? [To Alice] Why, thank you, Alice! [To the Party] Ok Clint's plan may work.


Mac: Oh just you wait and see, sailor boy.


Jerrick: Wait till tomorrow, you mean? Come on then, turn Clementine into something unpleasant and sticky - but not a bunny slug!


Clementine: Austin, I can't stop the Bliss, and even if I could, I wouldn't. A short, happy life is so much better than a long, unhappy one.

;;; Doesn't seem to work!


Clint: Can't we try something a little less disgusting first? Maybe we'll get lucky and the lawyer will lawyer her to death.


Charlie: [To the party] Be ready, group. Mr. Sleaze appears to be getting nowhere, so we must be ready to act.

;;; Away for the next 1.5 hours! What a gyp!


Alice: Maybe he's trying to wait for her to die of old age?


Jerrick: Kind of like Mac's plan.


Alice: [Looks back at the town walls] Whatever he's going to do, he better do it fast, as the demons are really pushing the people back.


Austin : [To Clementine] Is there no way of stopping the Bliss? Thousands will die! Could you not simply stop channeling the Bliss?


Clementine: [Softly] Austin, I've already told you several times, there is no way of stopping the Bliss. Thousands may die, but they die happy. And honestly, Austin, I'm surprised that you would want me to stop the Bliss. Did something happen to you?

Alice: [To the party] Yeesh, how much longer is this gonna go on?


Jerrick: [To Alice] Well, we *are* waiting for her to die of old age, right? I mean, she's not *that* old, so my guess is it'll go on for some time. [To Clementine] Yes, something happened - I got vomited on and Clint almost had his head bitten off! And worse, I haven't had a drink in ages and I'm sober! To summarize, I am about to die and I'm *not* happy!


Alice: Oh come on, Jerrick. That was hardly the first time you were vomited on, was it?


Austin : [To Clementine] I am quite certain that people will experience more happiness in total across a long life than they will in a short period of Bliss. [Exasperated] If everyone dies there will be no more Bliss anyway!


Jerrick: [Opens his mouth to respond to Alice, then stops] Actually, Alice, you may have a point there.


Clementine: How do you know, Austin? How do you know that this world is nothing more than a test to see how much Bliss people can have? [Gives him a smile] I think you should leave.

Alice: [To Jerrick] Now, I'm not saying that *I* puked on you any time recently, but you know, you seem like the kind of guy who might attract it!


Mac: My plan was *not* to let her die of old age! When did I ever say that, sailor boy?


Jerrick: [Coolly] Oh, I just kind of assumed based on the fact that this awesome spell we were expecting hasn't happened yet.


Alice: In fairness, Jer, we are waiting for Austin to do his [finger quotes] magic. [Looks back at the town walls where people are scrambling for their lives] Whatever he's gonna do, he better do it soon.


Mac: [Sarcastically] Oh yes, I'm really going to cast it before we're all ready to attack her! What a fantastic idea, sailor boy.


Austin : [To Clementine, disgruntled] I am sorry if I have offended you. No offense was intended. Gooday. [Walks to just outside the front door, leaving it open, lights up a cigarette, sighs]


Alice: Well, Austin? Now do you agree that she has to be killed? [To the party] We're agreed that we all do it through the hug, right?

;;; If you disagree, now is the time to say so!


Jerrick: [Grumbles] Can't believe I'm saying this. [Louder, clapping his hands] Ok everyone, group hug!


;;; Heather is AFK

Charlie: Splendid idea, Mr. Adaar!

Alice: [Stretches out her arms] I'm ready.

;;; Kevin is out

Dur: [Sigh] Let's do this thing.


Austin : [Sighs, blows some smoke rings] I'll take a rain check if you don't mind.


Alice: You're a damned dirty hypocrite, Austin. You stay here and hide while the rest of us do what has to be done. Oh, and when we've saved the world, don't you dare criticize us for what we had to do.

[All but AUSTIN enter the hugging room.]

Clementine: [With a warm smile] Hello all! I hope you are blissful? Poor Austin seems right out of sorts.


Mac: Austin, we all agreed to try your way. Now you have to go along with our way.


Austin : [A little suprised, watching the others enter the room] Hypocrite? [Shrugs, blows some smoke rings]


Alice: [To Mac] Just because he should doesn't mean he will. [To Clementine] Yes, he does seem rather odd today. I hope he didn't upset you.

Clementine: Actually, he did, which I find surprising, given how blissful I've been for the last month. [Smiles at the party] Perhaps a hug might make me feel better?


Jerrick: [Narrows his eyes] Yes, perhaps it might.


Charlie: [To Clementine, with a strained smile] Yes, I think we could all do with a hug! [Holds out her arms and approaches Clementine]


Clementine: Thanks Charlie! [Hugs Charlie]

Alice: Me too! [Joins the hug]


Jerrick: Ugh, this is going to ruin my image. [To Clint] I say we forget today ever happened and just never speak of it to anyone. [Moves to join the hug]


[DUR, CLINT and MAC join in the hug.]

Clementine: I love you all so much.

Alice: [Slowly pulling out her sword] And we love you too, Clementine. I'm sorry. [Stabs Clementine]

Clementine: [Gasps in surprise] No!


Charlie: [Stabs Clementine with her sword] We're so dreadfully sorry. You made us all so happy!


Jerrick: Well, you didn't make me happy, so... [Chops at her with his sword]


Dur: I hate to do this, but... [stabs Clementine]

Clint: Sorry, Clem, I wish we had a choice. [Stabs her]


Austin : [Watches outside to see if the Bliss is ending. Sighs.]


[No change yet, but CLEMENTINE is still alive.]

Clementine: But, why? I just wanted to make everyone happy!

Alice: The world isn't ready for happiness.

[Thump. CLEMENTINE falls to the ground, dead. Enter DON MCJAIN, who stops when he sees CLEMENTINE.]

Don: Oh my God, what happened?


Charlie: [Hiding her sword behind her back] It was slug bunnies! Spread the word! No one is safe!


Don: Those fuzzy eared bastards!

[DON runs outside, and everyone goes to watch him. By the time they get there, the townspeople are already fighting back more strongly.]

Don: They killed Clementine! The demons killed Clementine!

[Suddenly the townspeople start to push the demons back.]

Alice: Come on! Let's join in!


Jerrick: Er... yes, this is just tomato ketchup on my sword.


Austin : [Readies his sling shot and shoots demons when he is close enough. Relieved] The plan seems to have worked.


Charlie: [Hisses at Austin] No thanks to you! [Charges into the demon horde]


[The party charge into the fray, with MAC and AUSTIN hanging back, firing in missile weapons. Before long, the streets are red with the blood of demons and slug bunnies, and virtually no more people are hurt in the battle, which rages for another twenty minutes. Soon the party are back in the town with many of the townspeople, including DON and PESTILENCE.]

Don: Hurrah! We've chased off the demon menace! The Realms is free again! Never more will we be threatened by demons!

Alice: Uh, well, unless the really strong ones live further away than the slug bunnies. If they're coming, then we're really screwed.

;;; End of Book VII. Next one starts on Monday.


Clint: What else did you expect, Chuck? [Charges the demons, hoping to wipe away all memory of the embarrassing group hug.]