05.01.001

[Book VII, Act V, Scene I. The House. ALICE, AUSTIN, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR and HARVEY are here, at the door. Also here are tens of thousands of Swarm members, including JOHN.]

John: [Gives the party a peace sign] Hail to the leaders.

05.01.003

Dur: [Thoughtfully] There was a time that I would find this turn of events rather surprising, but sense coming to know all of you... It was really jus= t a matter of time...From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.106.10 with SMTP id v10cs230535fao; Wed, 27 Oct 2010 08:33:23 -0700 (PDT) Received: by 10.227.156.68 with SMTP id v4mr9345943wbw.224.1288193602639; Wed, 27 Oct 2010 08:33:22 -0700 (PDT) Return-Path: <Colin.Dinan@version1.com> Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id bm4si15796191wbb.87.2010.10.27.08.33.21; Wed, 27 Oct 2010 08:33:22 -0700 (PDT) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of Colin.Dinan@version1.com) client-ip=193.1.100.137; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of Colin.Dinan@version1.com) smtp.mail=Colin.Dinan@version1.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [193.1.97.39] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cc846070001>; Wed, 27 Oct 2010 16:32:23 +0100 Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id o9RFXLCV027744 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Wed, 27 Oct 2010 16:33:21 +0100 Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [193.1.101.32] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cc846070000>; Wed, 27 Oct 2010 16:32:23 +0100 Received: from marshal5.ul.ie ( [193.1.100.135] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Wed, 27 Oct 2010 16:32:23 +0100 Received: from SRVADMEXCH03.v1.com (Not Verified [83.71.143.7] ) by marshal5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cc846050001>; Wed, 27 Oct 2010 16:32:23 +0100 Received: from srvadmexch01.V1.COM (192.168.122.132) by mx0.version1.com (172.19.131.26) with Microsoft SMTP Server (TLS) id 8.1.436.0; Wed, 27 Oct 2010 16:33:02 +0100 Received: from srvadmexch01.V1.COM ( [192.168.122.132] ) by srvadmexch01.V1.COM ( [192.168.122.132] ) with mapi; Wed, 27 Oct 2010 16:33:01 +0100 To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie>, dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com> CC: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "Tom Henderson" <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com> Date: Wed, 27 Oct 2010 16:32:26 +0100 Thread-Topic: [qv] 05.01.003 Thread-Index: AQHLdew93LfBUOUlmkiRlhHWsDE2cgMessage-ID: <B934E39ABDD3B145B6E31161FB0920B003E6F1D609@srvadmexch01.V1.COM> Accept-Language: en-US Content-Language: en-GB X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: acceptlanguage: en-US Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable MIME-Version: 1.0 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 27 Oct 2010 15:32:23.0442 (UTC) FILETIME= [26D50F20:01CB75EC]

ust a matter of time...

Harvey : [To John] Good grief, why are we your leaders?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.01.004

John: Because you exposed our original leaders for what they really are, greedy thieves. Once everyone realised that they had taken our savings, we knew we had to find better leaders. Who better than the brave stout hearts that saved us?

05.01.005

Dur: Yeah? [Looks around] Well? Where the hell are these brave stout warriors you speak off?

05.01.006

Alice: Don't be stupid, Dur, he wants us to find them!

John: Actually, you're being too modest. [To the Swarm] Aren't they?

Swarm: [All perfectly on cue] Yes!

Jones: [Just a second after everyone else] -es!

05.01.007

Clint: So your reaction to finding out that your cult is a scam is to find new leaders for your cult, and you pick us? [Thoughtfully.] We can work with that!

05.01.008

Harvey : Well, leadership certainly works better on a stomach full of breakfast! [Looks enquiringly at John, tapping his stomach slowly]

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.01.009

John: Ah! You want to finish some of the leftovers from last night? Good idea. [Looks in at the carnage left over from last night's gorging] Oh. I see. [To the Swarm] Why don't you get them some breakfast? I'll wait here.

Swarm: [All as one] Yes.

[Exit the Swarm, leaving JOHN behind.]

Alice: Huh, so we're the leaders of a cult. I can't say I'm surprised. I mean, virtually every boyfriend I ever had called me a cult.

05.01.010

Austin : [To Alice,] And what did you call them? [Checks the shine on this shoes and smiles]

05.01.011

Alice: I like to call them Dave.

05.01.012

Austin : [Thoughtfully and deadpan] Oh, well that must have been pretty handy, as you could never forget a name like that. You could get a 'Dave' tattoo as well, and it would be special and personal for each one.

05.01.013

Alice: No one should have that many tattoos! [Thinks for a moment] Er, so, this breakfast?

[The door swings open, enter SHELDON.]

Sheldon: [Pushing passed a bunch of Swarm members] Let me through! I am their best friend, after all. [To the party] Ah, there you are! The [punches the air lamely] gang is back together!

05.01.015

Dur: Uhhh... Sure.... Are? [Aside to Alice] Who the hell is that guy?From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.106.10 with HTTP; Thu, 28 Oct 2010 07:27:31 -0700 (PDT) Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2010 15:27:31 +0100 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: TXyWgd4wjgFC-CJ9doLrMtJaEPw Message-ID: <AANLkTi=ntM_zcKVBbcvcod-gmOmBXu=VhUgDrL3+7aWa@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Alice: I haven't a clue -- looks like some sort of geek, so I assumed he was a friend of yours.

Sheldon: [Stifles a laugh] Very amusing, yes. Now, tell me all about your adventures, and don't leave out even the smallest detail.

05.01.016

Charlie: [To Sheldon, delighted] Well, it's all been most interesting, I must say! [Drags out a huge stack of notebooks] There simply isn't enough time to tell you EVERYTHING, but here are my notes for the last 24 hours. I can sound out the difficult words for you, if need be! [Politely] Oh, and what have you been up to, hm?

05.01.017

Sheldon: I have been speaking to the newspapers on your behalf, about your failed assassination attempt on Colonel Nunpar. [Holds up a newspaper with a picture of Joe, the headline of which reads "Dr. Sheldon Parsons' Party Fail to kill beloved leader] I was very nice about you.

05.01.018

Austin : [To Sheldon, dumbfounded] Why on earth did you do that? You have just confessed to attempted murder! You will hang for that! Why?

05.01.019

Sheldon: [Brightly] Au contraire, mon ami, I have confessed to conspiracy to attempt murder! [Thinks for a moment] Huh, that damned reporter! I should have let Pestilence kill him.

05.01.020

Austin : [Alarmed] It would only be such if nothing had happend appart from agreement between two or more persons to engage jointly in an unlawful or criminal act, but there was most certainly an actual attempt and you most certainly assisted in that attempt and so you are therefore also guilty of the crime that I aforementioned. Either way the death penalty is applicable. [Indignantly] I new that this was a bad idea right from the start.

05.01.021

Austin : [Alarmed] It would only be such if nothing had happend appart fromagreement between two or more persons to engage jointly in an unlawful or = criminal act, but there was most certainly an actual attempt and you most certainly assisted in that attempt and so you are therefore also guilty of t= he crime that I aforementioned. Either way the death penalty is applicable. [Indignantly] I new that this was a bad idea right from the start.

Dur: Yeah! What he said! [Grabs the paper and reads it] Besides, we didn't 'fail' to do anything. That bastard was as good as dead until he sprung rig= ht back up again. Damn corpses, never stay dead when you want them too... Least of all right when you're removing their liver. "Never let a good liver= go to waste," my mum always said! Man! [Stares dreamily at the ceiling] She always made one hell of a stew...=

05.01.022

Sheldon: Forget that! Where are we going to hide? I can't go to the big house, I'm too beautiful!

05.01.024

Dur: [Drooling] Too late! Maybe Pestilence will have a safe house for us tolie low in, metaphorically speaking. [Glances at Charlie and the whispers = loudly to the rest of the party] Well, maybe literally speaking too!From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.106.10 with SMTP id v10cs280809fao; Thu, 28 Oct 2010 09:34:09 -0700 (PDT) Received: by 10.227.142.75 with SMTP id p11mr6733182wbu.27.1288283649454; Thu, 28 Oct 2010 09:34:09 -0700 (PDT) Return-Path: <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu> Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id x5si2231773wbd.52.2010.10.28.09.34.09; Thu, 28 Oct 2010 09:34:09 -0700 (PDT) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu) client-ip=193.1.100.137; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu) smtp.mail=Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [193.1.97.39] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cc9a5c40000>; Thu, 28 Oct 2010 17:33:08 +0100 Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id o9SGY8oK008395 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Thu, 28 Oct 2010 17:34:08 +0100 Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [193.1.101.32] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cc9a5c30000>; Thu, 28 Oct 2010 17:33:07 +0100 Received: from marshal5.ul.ie ( [193.1.100.135] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Thu, 28 Oct 2010 17:33:07 +0100 Received: from mh1.mail.rice.edu (Not Verified [128.42.201.20] ) by marshal5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cc9a5c30001>; Thu, 28 Oct 2010 17:33:07 +0100 Received: from mh1.mail.rice.edu (localhost.localdomain [127.0.0.1] ) by mh1.mail.rice.edu (Postfix) with ESMTP id B58D128F7C1; Thu, 28 Oct 2010 11:34:05 -0500 (CDT) X-Virus-Scanned: by amavis-2.6.4 at mh1.mail.rice.edu, auth channel Received: from mh1.mail.rice.edu ( [127.0.0.1] ) by mh1.mail.rice.edu (mh1.mail.rice.edu [127.0.0.1] ) (amavis, port 10026) with ESMTP id NcawTkkPXDSR; Thu, 28 Oct 2010 11:34:05 -0500 (CDT) Received: from localhost (localhost.localdomain [127.0.0.1] ) (using TLSv1 with cipher DHE-RSA-AES256-SHA (256/256 bits)) (No client certificate requested) (Authenticated sender: th4) by mh1.mail.rice.edu (Postfix) with ESMTPSA id 7F4B128F7AE; Thu, 28 Oct 2010 11:34:05 -0500 (CDT) Received: from c-98-201-88-214.hsd1.tx.comcast.net (c-98-201-88-214.hsd1.tx.comcast.net [98.201.88.214] ) by webmail.mail.rice.edu (Horde Framework) with HTTP; Thu, 28 Oct 2010 11:34:05 -0500 Message-ID: <20101028113405.1924212ulgofgpvh@webmail.mail.rice.edu> Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2010 11:34:05 -0500 To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie>, dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com> References: <AANLkTinOvxsu0FYB=gvMNKV+9bs3+smQtT754=xrcP4G@mail.gmail.com> <B96870A1BA16904491A1E702A34C176904E363D481@GRPMMIRVG701.grouphc.net> In-Reply-To: <B96870A1BA16904491A1E702A34C176904E363D481@GRPMMIRVG701.grouphc.net> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; DelSp="Yes"; format="flowed" Content-Disposition: inline Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit User-Agent: Internet Messaging Program (IMP) H3 (4.3.7) X-Horde-Authenticated: th4 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 28 Oct 2010 16:33:07.0769 (UTC) FILETIME= [CD6EFA90:01CB76BD]

Clint: Maybe our beloved cultists will help protect us?

05.01.025

John: They'll try, but the Swarm are non-violent and have no weapons. They are also frightened by loud noises and angry dogs.

05.01.026

Harvey : I going to put that to the test! [Turns abruptly and bellows at the collected Swarm] Where's breakfast?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.01.027

Clint: [Irked.] Well, if the guys don't want to fight off HARMA with us, at least they can find us a place to hide. [Gives Sheldon a death glare.]

05.01.029

Harvey : Or synchronised stomping, enough to cause an earthquake and demolish their bases!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.01.030

Sheldon: [Laughs] Very amusing, very, very amusing. [Slams the door on the Swarm] However, we need to discuss the prophecy. I really should be annoyed with you for not coming back to location Alpha, but, [punches Austin chummily on the shoulder] I can't be angry with you guys!

05.01.031

Charlie: Where was Location Alpha?

05.01.031

Austin : [Dusting off the stop where Sheldon made contact with him] How could you be, we are your best friends. [Sighs and scopes the room]

05.01.032

Sheldon: [Sighs] Oh, Charlie, it's just as well we like you, because we'd never keep you around for your smarts! Location Alpha is the house where Pesty and I were hanging out, doing manly things and stuff.

05.01.033

Charlie: Well, do take us there now, and we can discuss the prophecy further. What more have you learned?

05.01.034

Austin : Indeed, demonstrate just how smart you are. [Casually checks his nails]


;;; busy this afternoon, have a good weekend!

05.01.035

Sheldon: Certainly, Austin, I would be happy to. And, might I say, it is gratifying to see that my startling intellect doesn't put a distance between us. [Takes out a piece of paper and starts writing on it]

[The paper says: "1415926535897932384626433832795028841971 693993751058209749445923078164".]

05.01.036

Charlie: [Looks at the paper, snorting in derision] More of your junk science, I see!

05.01.036

Austin : Is the value of pi particuarly useful without the '3.'? [Hands the note to Alice] What do you think Alice, you are the maths genius after all. Not my field really. [To Sheldon] Does the value of pi have some particular relevance to the message?

05.01.037

Sheldon: You didn't ask me for something useful, you asked for a demonstration of how smart I was. Reciting pi to sixty places is a really rather marvelous feat. [Coldly to Charlie] It isn't junk science, it is math, but I wouldn't expect you to undestand that. How fortunate you are that I don't hold your ignorance against you. [To the party in general, seemingly trying to be nice] Against any of you.

05.01.038

Charlie: Yes, this is all terribly interesting, but could you take us to Pestilence at once? I don't think it wise for us to linger in one spot for too long.

05.01.039

Harvey : Indeed, we tend to get made leaders of various groups and what not, if we stay more than an evening in a place!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.01.040

Clint: No worries on that count, Harv! One look at our friends and they'll decide they don't want us to lead them after all. But yeah, let's get out of here before HARMA shows up. Again.

05.01.041

Sheldon: No, let's not meet up with Pestilence, he's just a distraction. Instead you can tell me about the information you gathered.

05.01.042

Charlie: [Looks at Sheldon suspiciously] I thought you and he were partners or somesuch deluded claim of yours?

05.01.043

Austin : And smart includes useful, who cares about the 60 whatever decimal places of pi when we are trying to save the world, being hunted for a murder that we did not commit, and trying to decipher ancient messages that may just help us save the world. Again [Checks his nails casually]

05.01.044

Sheldon: Partners? Goodness gracious no! Perhaps Pestilence told you we were, but I can assure, that is not the case. In fact, he is such a bad influence that I think you all need to avoid him. [To Charlie] Especially you. [To Austin] If you could cease your mindless prattling for just a few moments and show me what Deuce gave you, I could help. [Sighs to himself] Patience, Sheldon, he is your friend, after all.

05.01.045

Austin : Mindless prattling? You almost got me killed, and managed to confess to the media at the same time! Idiot!

05.01.046

Sheldon: Now, now, Austin, you're amongst friends now, remember, we don't mind that you nearly got us killed while we were risking our lives to save the swarm and to get that information about the prophecy. Speaking of which, where is it?


;;; Alice has it.

05.01.047

Charlie: We have it with us, not to worry! We have made some progress with the translation and found some interesting alternative readings.

05.01.048

Austin : [To Sheldon] Utter nonsense, and slanderous! [Makes some notes]

05.01.049

Sheldon: Yes, it does sound like utter nonsense, but what else would you expect given the company she keeps? No strong male role model, overtly trampy female stereotypes? Really, it's a wonder that she hasn't gone teaching at a high school.

Alice: [To the party] Remind me why we haven't killed this guy.

05.01.050

Charlie: Well, he has proven useful at times, for those little tasks Dur hasn't the mental capacity to carry out. Though he is being rather unreasonable just now. [To Sheldon] Really, a high school teacher?! Do mind your tongue. [Smiles at Alice, loyally] Alice is our respected colleague, and we have found her so-called trampy behavior an asset to many of our endeavors involving distraction, etc.

05.01.051

Alice: [Nods her head in agreement] Yeah! So there! [Thinks for a moment] Hey!

[Enter a TERRY with a tray of food, which seems to consist entirely of tasteless looking dry bread and water.]

Terry: Here you go! Some delicious breakfast for our beloved leaders. [Does an extravagant salute that involves running both hands over his bald head] Patience be with you!

05.01.053

Dur: [Already with a mouthful of bread] I hope so! We're going to need it!From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.2.20 with HTTP; Mon, 1 Nov 2010 07:29:41 -0700 (PDT) Date: Mon, 1 Nov 2010 14:29:41 +0000 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: PO_WTghRGGOz0A_3cXmn9SUFCY8 Message-ID: <AANLkTin9bL3P7DAbA9PYtiaTj0ktSSuGHtBhhZczEA3s@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Sheldon: As will I, whipping you lot into shape! [Picks up a piece of bread and taps it] Huh. If I didn't know better -- which I almost always do -- I would have thought that this was a rock. I'm sure Dur thinks it's a rock.

05.01.054

Charlie: [To Sheldon, irked] If anyone will be whipping Dur, it most certainly will be me or possibly the Colonel, should I be otherwise occupied!

05.01.055

Sheldon: Indeed, that would make sense, for I will likely be too busy whipping you into shape.

05.01.056

Austin : [Claps his hands] If you have all quite finished threatening each other with nerdy sex games could we proceed with the matter at hand! [To Sheldon and Charlie] The translation!

05.01.057

Sheldon: If you people would surrender the information you were sent to get, then we wouldn't have this problem!

05.01.058

Charlie: [Outraged] I must say, I do not care for your attitude, Sheldon! In fact, I don't think we shall be sharing anything at all with you!

05.01.059

Austin : [Rolls his eyes, sighs] It would be so much easier just to let the world end.

05.01.060

Dur: [Still eating, despite the 'bread's' rocky qualities] Really? With somany tailored suits left for you to wear?=

05.01.061

Austin : It is not about the suits. [Goes to the window to see what is going on outside]

05.01.062

Sheldon: [Shocked at Charlie's outrageous behaviour] Honestly! Is that any way to speak to your best friend?

[There are thousands of CANDIDATES outside, all looking in.]

Alice: [To Terry (who brought the food in)] Would it hurt Sheldon if we threw a piece of bread at him?

Terry: Hopefully. It is crap, and only a sad loser would actually try to eat it.

05.01.063

Harvey : [Drawing his hand away from the bread hastily] Now now, dearest niece, let's be charitable to the inflicted, eh!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.01.064

Terry: Why? The guy's an idiot, he knows nothing about the prophecy. [Waves his tray around] Inedible bread, anyone?

05.01.065

Charlie: [Politely takes a rock of bread, but just holds it] Why, thank you! [To Terry] You must know ever so much about the prophecy! Do tell!

05.01.066

Terry: I know that Jerome wanted it badly and that your boytoy tortured a Jeromite to get it.

05.01.067

Austin : No need to be narky. I am sure that Charlie only prostitutes herself for the greater good.

05.01.068

Terry: Whereas you prostitute yourself for your own good.

John: [Shocked] Terry! What has come over you? Apologise at once!

Terry: [Shrugs] I thought we Swarmdidates were honest all the time.

Alice: Huh! I thought you were the same guy! [Looks from John to Terry] Hey! Look! It's Darius!

[This is true. The Candidate that brought in the breakfast, TERRY, is none other than DARIUS, complete with shaven head.]

Darius: [Gives the party a peace sign] Hooray for Clementine and her love of loosers like us.

Alice: What's a looser?

Darius: It's how someone like you spells loser.

05.01.069

Charlie: [To Darius] That's a, er, new look for you. Anything new in your life you'd like to catch us up on?

05.01.070

Austin : I doubt if he came here for the bread.

05.01.071

Darius: I'm a Candidate, a chosen one, waiting Clementine to smite you non-believers and bring peace and happiness to earth. Oh, and to help you with that prophecy of yours. After all, it is about you.

Sheldon: Hey! I recognize you! You once heckled me when I was giving a speech!

Darius: That's me.

Sheldon: I was only seven years old!

Darius: That's hardly an excuse for poor research and papier mache construction.

Sheldon: [Appealing to the party] It was my mother's fault! She used too much water!

05.01.072

Harvey : [To Darius] Did you have anything to do with all of us being made leaders? Hmm?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.01.073

Charlie: [To Darius] What can you tell us about the prophecy? What do you mean, it's about us?

05.01.074

Sheldon: Yes! What does it say about us?

Darius: It doesn't say anything about you, other than that you're a whiney little bitch who got chased away by Pestilence who actually wanted to kill you. The rest of you, on the other hand, well, you're gonna be stars! [To Harvey] I may have made mention of your stout hearts, but the Swarm voted themselves.

John: [Gives Darius a baleful look] And what about those allegations of ballot stuffing and theft of ballots?

Darius: Completely unfounded.

05.01.075

Austin : Considering the fact that we did not know that we were candidates it hardly matters, we certainly cannot be held responsible for vote fixing. [Puts a cigarette into a ridiculously long holder and lights it, blowing a few smoke rings]

05.01.076

Sheldon: Well said, Austin! I think we should leave immediately before we get tarnished with his evil deeds!

05.01.077

Austin : Considering the fact that you have recently told the press that we tried to murder Joe, I hardly think that you are in a position to be recommending with whom we should be tarnishing ourselves. [Blows some smoke rings at Sheldon]

05.01.078

Sheldon: [Coughs and waves the smoke away] Honestly, Austin, I think you are being most unkind!

Darius: That's not unkind. Parking your carriage on top of someone's little mopeyped, now that's unkind.

Sheldon: [Screams like a girl] Sasha!

[Exit SASHA, running out.]

John: [To Darius] I don't think you're a candidate at all.

Darius: And I don't think you're sane, but I'm not hassling you about it, am I?

05.01.079

Charlie: [To Darius] And so, you are here to assist us? In fulfilling our respective prophesied destinies?

05.01.080

Darius: Sure, as long as it doesn't involve me doing anything or compromising my stylish new look. That prophecy of yours contains something that Jerome doesn't want anyone to know, and a little bird told me that it is about the Queens View party.

Alice: Wow! A little talking bird? What was he like?

Darius: Tasted kinda like chicken.

05.01.081

Clint: Just out of idle curiosity, why is it always about us? I mean, save the world a couple of times and they act like it's your full-time job!

05.01.082


;;; Malformed subject line from me!

Darius: Maybe it's to give you an opportunity to finally do it right?

05.01.082

Clint: Oh. Well, as long as this time we get the credit, the women, and the cheap cigars for it!

05.01.083

Darius: I guess that depends on what the prophecy says, doesn't it?

05.01.084

Austin : So what does it say?


;;;;on hols for rest of week so noposts from moi

05.01.085

Harvey : And are you going to tell us without being even more cryptic than the prophesy itself, eh?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.01.086

Darius: Oh no, Colonel, don't worry about that.

[Time passes.]

Darius: Because I don't know what it says. What I do know is that it is about the Queens View party, about saving the world, that Jerome desperately wants it, and where you can get it translated. What have you got so far?

Alice: Here you go. [Shows him the notes the party have made]

Darius: [Looking at it] So what do you make of it?


;;; The link shows the possible translations so far

05.01.087

Charlie: Well, we reasoned that the "children of the lady" could be the Sons of Clementine or perhaps [nods to Austin] it refers to us, The Queens View Party, in a sense children of the Queen. Have you any ideas?

05.01.088

Austin: [Straightens a cuff] Indeed. I spotted right away that it might refer to us.

Darius: You always were my favourite, Evan. [Looks at the translation] Hm, it could be either, I guess, but I have it on good authority that it definitely refers to the Queens View party, so my bet is that it's that part. However, what you really need is an ubernerd who actually knows these languages.

05.01.089

Charlie: I don't suppose you know such a scholar?

05.01.090

Dur: You would think that you, our resident ninny, would know such a scholar...=

05.01.091

Darius: Of course I don't know one, I don't hang out with ubernerds. Well, present company excepted, of course. I do know of a place where you might find such a scholar, though.

05.01.092

Charlie: [Excited] Oooh, please say "The International Symposium on Extinct and Endangered Languages"! I have wanted to attend since I was a young girl!

05.01.092

Clint: Well, there's one in Queen's View... Got a better idea?

05.01.093

Darius: Okay. [Dramatically] The International Symposium on Extinct and Endangered Languages.

Alice: Wow! Really?

Darius: No, but she seemed so excited by it, I had to give her something. Actually, I don't know where the exact location of it is, but [to Charlie] someone close to you knows where it is. I believe you call him "Daddy".

05.01.094

Clint: You're gonna have to narrow that down a bit more!

05.01.095

Charlie: [To Clint, haughtily] He clearly means my biological father, Sir Rudyard Parker-Kensington! [To Darius, uncertainly] Don't you?

05.01.096

Darius: Actually, I was talking about Pestilence!

05.01.097

Charlie: [To Darius, furious] How dare you! Are you saying my father hasn't the expertise to go toe-to-toe with Pestilence in matters of rare and obscure languages?! [Hesitates] Though antique carriages are really more Daddy's thing, to be fair. [Quickly] My REAL Daddy!

05.01.098

Darius: Looks like we've got some father issues in this group!

Alice: Because she calls Pestilence Daddy?

Darius: Actually, I was think more along the lines of how your constant need for validation from males manifests itself in slutty clothing and even sluttier behaviour. However, we're going off the point. There is a monastery called Ixi that you should check out. I'd take you there myself but a), I don't know where it is, and b), I'm banned from ever returning there.

05.01.099

Harvey : Why does that not surprise, you old cad, you! You're also the first person I've heard actually pronounce a right bracket.

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.01.100

Darius: You must be a fast learner, Harv, because you picked it up faster than a soldier picks up a hooker.

Austin: You said you are banned from returning there, and also that you don't know where it is. How can that be? Were you there? [Sighs] And try to give a straightforward answer.

Darius: I sure was -- these guys are serious about their bans, though. They removed that memory from my mind. They were a little careless, actually, because I also forgot how to choose underpants.

05.01.101

Charlie: [To Darius] How barbaric! There isn't anything you could tell us to help us find this place, then?

05.01.102

Darius: Buy plenty of underpants, and then go talk to Pestilence.

05.01.103

Charlie: [In a resigned tone] Well then, I suppose we must, no matter how unpleasant the idea might seem to us.

05.01.104

John: Shall I get The Swarm ready?

05.01.105

Dur: [Sighing] If you must. Pestilence, after all, may need something to snack on.=

05.01.106

Alice: What? We're going to bring ten thousand bald headed goons with us? It's hardly going to be stealthy, is it?

05.01.107

Dur: Since when have we been stealthy? Besides, haven't you ever heard the saying, "Speak softly but carry a large body of mindless cronies willing to= do whatever you command?" Or was that just what mum always said?From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.98.198 with SMTP id r6cs43698fan; Thu, 4 Nov 2010 06:29:13 -0700 (PDT) Received: by 10.213.35.7 with SMTP id n7mr554518ebd.25.1288877352767; Thu, 04 Nov 2010 06:29:12 -0700 (PDT) Return-Path: <Colin.Dinan@version1.com> Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id y2si25574745eeh.35.2010.11.04.06.29.10; Thu, 04 Nov 2010 06:29:12 -0700 (PDT) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of Colin.Dinan@version1.com) client-ip=193.1.100.137; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of Colin.Dinan@version1.com) smtp.mail=Colin.Dinan@version1.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [193.1.97.39] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cd2b4f80001>; Thu, 04 Nov 2010 13:28:24 +0000 Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id oA4DT9OY025842 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Thu, 4 Nov 2010 13:29:09 GMT Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [193.1.101.32] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cd2b4f80000>; Thu, 04 Nov 2010 13:28:24 +0000 Received: from marshal5.ul.ie ( [193.1.100.135] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Thu, 4 Nov 2010 13:28:24 +0000 Received: from SRVADMEXCH03.v1.com (Not Verified [83.71.143.7] ) by marshal5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cd2b4f70001>; Thu, 04 Nov 2010 13:28:23 +0000 Received: from srvadmexch01.V1.COM (192.168.122.132) by mx0.version1.com (172.19.131.26) with Microsoft SMTP Server (TLS) id 8.1.436.0; Thu, 4 Nov 2010 13:29:08 +0000 Received: from srvadmexch01.V1.COM ( [192.168.122.132] ) by srvadmexch01.V1.COM ( [192.168.122.132] ) with mapi; Thu, 4 Nov 2010 13:29:08 +0000 To: Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie>, "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> CC: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com> Date: Thu, 4 Nov 2010 13:27:24 +0000 Thread-Topic: [qv] 05.01.107 Thread-Index: AQHLfCRCBBk88JeDpUWRj3JDH7m+OgMessage-ID: <B934E39ABDD3B145B6E31161FB0920B003E6F1D663@srvadmexch01.V1.COM> Accept-Language: en-US Content-Language: en-GB X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: acceptlanguage: en-US Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable MIME-Version: 1.0 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 04 Nov 2010 13:28:24.0059 (UTC) FILETIME= [27EB4CB0:01CB7C24]

Harvey : Indeed so, dear niece! We must travel alone, and fast. Can't get weighted down by force marching ten thousand people! Imagine the number of s= andwiches that would need to be prepared!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.01.108

Clint: So which is it? Travel alone and fast, or travel with a small army of mindless goons? If these monks are real serious about their privacy, I vote for the goons!

05.01.109

Austin: We already have enough goons in the party as it is. I suggest we leave them here until such time as we return. They can spend the time building statues of us.

05.01.110

Charlie: I agree wholeheartedly, Mr. Sleaze, they would only slow us! [Eagerly] Now, do let us be on our way, [adds wearily and unconvincingly] if we simply must, that is!

05.01.111

Darius: To the love nest!

[Exit the party, passing a sobbing SHELDON, mourning his smashed mopeyped carriage.]


;;; End of scene, next one coming right up

05.02.001

[Book VII, Act V, Scene II. The Cottage. ALICE, AUSTIN, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR, HARVEY and DARIUS are here, having just arrived. PESTILENCE is sitting outside on a rocking chair sharpening a knife.]

Darius: [Leaping down off the carriage] So, still a psychopathic monster?

Pestilence: [Tests the point of his knife] Still a smug git who deserves to be stabbed in the eye?

05.02.002

Dur: Yes and Yes. Now, about the prophecy...From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.98.198 with SMTP id r6cs49877fan; Thu, 4 Nov 2010 10:01:10 -0700 (PDT) Received: by 10.213.17.139 with SMTP id s11mr739509eba.51.1288890069641; Thu, 04 Nov 2010 10:01:09 -0700 (PDT) Return-Path: <th4@rice.edu> Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id p57si366481eeh.60.2010.11.04.10.01.09; Thu, 04 Nov 2010 10:01:09 -0700 (PDT) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of th4@rice.edu) client-ip=193.1.100.137; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of th4@rice.edu) smtp.mail=th4@rice.edu Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [193.1.97.39] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cd2e6a70000>; Thu, 04 Nov 2010 17:00:23 +0000 Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id oA4H18LC027596 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Thu, 4 Nov 2010 17:01:08 GMT Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [193.1.101.32] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cd2e6a60000>; Thu, 04 Nov 2010 17:00:22 +0000 Received: from marshal5.ul.ie ( [193.1.100.135] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Thu, 4 Nov 2010 17:00:22 +0000 Received: from mh4.mail.rice.edu (Not Verified [128.42.199.11] ) by marshal5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cd2e6a60000>; Thu, 04 Nov 2010 17:00:22 +0000 Received: from mh4.mail.rice.edu (localhost.localdomain [127.0.0.1] ) by mh4.mail.rice.edu (Postfix) with ESMTP id DD10028F7DA; Thu, 4 Nov 2010 12:01:06 -0500 (CDT) X-Virus-Scanned: by amavis-2.6.4 at mh4.mail.rice.edu, auth channel Received: from mh4.mail.rice.edu ( [127.0.0.1] ) by mh4.mail.rice.edu (mh4.mail.rice.edu [127.0.0.1] ) (amavis, port 10026) with ESMTP id eYMGg3FIP51S; Thu, 4 Nov 2010 12:01:06 -0500 (CDT) Received: from pulaski.rice.edu (pulaski.rice.edu [10.69.3.17] ) (using TLSv1 with cipher RC4-MD5 (128/128 bits)) (No client certificate requested) (Authenticated sender: th4) by mh4.mail.rice.edu (Postfix) with ESMTPSA id 5105128F7D7; Thu, 4 Nov 2010 12:01:06 -0500 (CDT) Message-ID: <4CD2E6D2.2000503@rice.edu> Date: Thu, 04 Nov 2010 12:01:06 -0500 User-Agent: Thunderbird 2.0.0.24 (X11/20101005) MIME-Version: 1.0 To: Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie> CC: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com> References: <AANLkTimkMFLJpd-j3DoHfZRf8EUZcQD8zOqHT+6mUpea@mail.gmail.com> In-Reply-To: <AANLkTimkMFLJpd-j3DoHfZRf8EUZcQD8zOqHT+6mUpea@mail.gmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-OriginalArrivalTime: 04 Nov 2010 17:00:22.0739 (UTC) FILETIME= [C4D7DA30:01CB7C41]

Clint: Well, it's nice to see you two getting along so well! Go say hi to daddy, Sarge.


;;; Forgot to mention that early morning (11:00!) meeting, didn't I?

Who schedules that sort of thing?!

05.02.003

Pestilence: [With a big smile] Daddy, eh?

Alice: [To Darius] So, you two know each other?

Pestilence: I may have once stabbed him in the eye. How's that going, by the way?

Darius: [Shrugs] Fine. It's stronger than the old one, so I can lift a lot more with it.

Pestilence: What about the underpants?

Darius: Still wearing pink frillies. They're surprisingly comfortable, actually.


;;; It's just inhuman, Tom!

05.02.004

Charlie: [To Pestilence, coolly] If you are quite through discussing lingerie, we should like to talk to you about the prophecy.

05.02.005

Pestilence: [Looks mildly and a little unconvincingly surprised] Oh, I didn't see you there. Come on in.

[Everyone heads into the house.]

Alice: [To Pestilence] So, uh, why did you stab him in the eye?

Pestilence: Because he's a smug git.

Darius: [Nods] And also because he's a psychopathic monster.

05.02.006

Charlie: [To Pestilence, rather stiffly] Darius told us that you might know where to find a languages expert who might be able to help us translate the prophecy? We would be most appreciative.

05.02.007

Pestilence: [Gives a big grin] Oh really? [To Darius] I guess you mean at Ixi? Returning to the scene of the crime! [Opens the door to another room] Come on, Sarge, I'll show you how to get there, I have some information in here.

05.02.008

Charlie: [A bit too eagerly] Marvelous! [To the party] Cartography is a passion of mine, so this might take a while. Why don't the rest of you call it a night and get some sleep?

05.02.009

Pestilence: That's a good idea. [Fakes a yawn] Boy, it sure is late. [Shuts the door after him]

Alice: [To the others] Right, let's get some sleep. [Yawns and stretches, but then stops] Hey! It's still only 11AM!

05.02.010

Harvey : Right, lets all check out these directions to Ixi then. [Walks towards the door]

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.02.011

Austin: [Straightens a cuff] You may wish to avert your eyes, Colonel. Some of these modern maps can be positively shocking.

05.02.012

Dur: [Watches the door suspiciously] I don't think it's the map we may findshocking!=

05.02.013

Alice: [Also standing near the door] That depends on what they're doing with it!


;;; Gone for the weekend!

05.02.014

Charlie: [Briskly exits the bedroom, hair noticeably mussed and suit jacket buttoned incorrectly] Splendid, I've examined these excellent and detailed directions very carefully and now know precisely where to lead us! [Dramatically brandishes a cocktail napkin that shows a crude map, clearly hurriedly drawn in lipstick]

05.02.015

Alice: [Looks at the map and points at something] What's that? A snow capped mountain?

[Enter PESTILENCE, smoothening down his hair.]

Pestilence: It sure is. There's a cave up towards the top, and that will take you to Ixi.

05.02.016

Harvey : [Examining the map] Hmm, despite the poor level of cartography on show, looks like we have our route, eh!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.02.016

Charlie: [To Pestilence, politely] Thank you for your assistance. Do try not to murder loads of people in future. [To the party] Let us be on our way, group!

05.02.017

Pestilence: I'll try.

Darius: [Takes a quick look at the map] Hm. [Rubs his chin] I see. Well, it's just as well Harvey's travelling with you.

05.02.018

Charlie: [To Darius] Why is that just as well? [To Harvey, quickly] Beyond the obvious reasons, of course!

05.02.019

Darius: As the map indicates, it's very snowy up there, and freezing cold. You'll welcome the hot air.

05.02.021

Dur: Now matter HOW cold it gets, I assure you, the Colonel's flatulence will never be an acceptable source of warmth! [Aside to anyone who will liste= n] Old man farts are the worst!From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.98.198 with SMTP id r6cs51094fan; Mon, 8 Nov 2010 06:33:15 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.14.47.78 with SMTP id s54mr3340425eeb.20.1289226794308; Mon, 08 Nov 2010 06:33:14 -0800 (PST) Return-Path: <heather.goggans@gmail.com> Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id v51si11059581eeh.83.2010.11.08.06.33.13; Mon, 08 Nov 2010 06:33:13 -0800 (PST) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of heather.goggans@gmail.com) client-ip=193.1.100.137; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of heather.goggans@gmail.com) smtp.mail=heather.goggans@gmail.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@gmail.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [193.1.97.39] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cd809ef0001>; Mon, 08 Nov 2010 14:32:15 +0000 Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id oA8EXCeh032126 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Mon, 8 Nov 2010 14:33:12 GMT Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [193.1.101.32] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cd809ef0000>; Mon, 08 Nov 2010 14:32:15 +0000 Received: from marshal5.ul.ie ( [193.1.100.135] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Mon, 8 Nov 2010 14:32:15 +0000 Received: from mail-ey0-f181.google.com (Not Verified [209.85.215.181] ) by marshal5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cd809ef0000>; Mon, 08 Nov 2010 14:32:15 +0000 Received: by eyb6 with SMTP id 6so3135379eyb.26 for <conor.ryan@ul.ie>; Mon, 08 Nov 2010 06:33:11 -0800 (PST) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:mime-version:received:received:date:message-id :subject:from:to:cc:content-type; bh=8U3IqnzFpyDNL2sLzDJefnMDNrb1f0EWK8W5BMX4gL0=; b=VKCSPVHE2RQWnDUo4E37W231PgMqF0HMRtpQlxoeOqRKzyx+JexFVFPi/TabBOr5xD 1bLcIAgWzQUJEKiMaQ48qZHB3Bb4hZy56bvI9RbHvCjyyLlE49FEjPobycyLfjsuLw3Q A/LfRIDMCjLqxh8/KkNGEmXHQHnTk3jfKMBysDomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc:content-type; b=l43jU0I6rhfcVOC7hXn/KtDfjs++bbvYwloVhfY4Fq86hM+ihzKw1UN371Fo40S/bk kmvMl0EOj2aIUNUQf618qt+Lc/EVPrTBkDNbMc9cfFBG5wP8NWzmV0NzX3up8giwPGdM d8MvkXKve30K+yOpB0EhWzSOWLbhXTB1ztpHgMIME-Version: 1.0 Received: by 10.216.4.2 with SMTP id 2mr6839967wei.87.1289226790821; Mon, 08 Nov 2010 06:33:10 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.216.161.194 with HTTP; Mon, 8 Nov 2010 06:33:09 -0800 (PST) Date: Mon, 8 Nov 2010 14:33:09 +0000 Message-ID: <AANLkTimLf3rKy8H4ybFoN7L=o0YZ+spGYvbwy5dPBQuq@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie>, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 08 Nov 2010 14:32:15.0609 (UTC) FILETIME= [BD5A6E90:01CB7F51]

Charlie: [Disgusted] Yes, thank you for that, Dur. [To Darius] If you can be of no more actual help, we shall be on our way, then!

05.02.022

Alice: [Wrinkles up her nose in disgust at Dur] You disgust me.

[Paaarp. ALICE lets loose an absolutely deafening fart.]

Alice: [Defensively] It wasn't me!

[All the party load onto the carriage, leaving DARIUS and PESTILENCE behind.]

Darius: [To Pestilence] Wanna [mimics someone playing a guitar, before then alternately doing a happy then sad face]

Pestilence: Yay! Charades! My favourite!

[The party pull away.]

Alice: So, Pesty and Darius are old friends? Weird, huh. I wonder what happened to them at Ixi?

05.02.023

Clint: Hell, it sounds like it was something so horrible, so awful, that Darius has blocked it out of his memory forever or something rather than risk ever reliving it.

05.02.024

Alice: Do you think they were boyfriend and boyfriend? It does seem like Pestilence stabbed him in the eye, so you know, it could be.

05.02.025

Charlie: [Enraged] He wouldn't dare! [Composes herself, embarrassed] That is to say, who could ever guess his reasons for doing anything? Now, group, weren't we following our map? [Waves the cocktail napkin]

05.02.026

Clint: I was thinking the same thing, Bimbo! Guess it must be true! [To Charlie.] Anyway, Sarge, we can follow a map and talk about the sex life of your demon lover at the same time.

05.02.027

Alice: [Turning around in the driver's seat to face Charlie] Yeah, what you think we are? Idiots?

[Crash! The party rear end another, much larger carriage.]

05.02.028

Clint: [Gets up off the floor of the carriage and extricates someone's foot from his ear.] Why the hell do we always let her drive? Group pact: From now on, we let Harv drive!

05.02.029

Alice: Ew! My foot is all waxy!

[Enter KENNY OKSIMO, a man in a parka, that's zipped all the way up.]

Kenny: Hey! What the hell is wrong with you?

05.02.030

Clint: [Helpfully.] Woman driver.

05.02.031

Kenny: My carriage is undrivable, look! [Points at the broken back axle] How am I supposed to deliver my ice now?

05.02.032

Harvey : Well damn and blast you man, what on earth were you doing leaving a broken carriage in the middle of the road?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.02.033

Charlie: [To Kenny] Perhaps we can help! Where are you delivering this ice?

05.02.034

Kenny: I think you've helped enough, woman drivers! I was delivering this to some eskimos who live up on top of the mountain. Now how will they keep their drinks cool? How? How?

05.02.035

Charlie: [Soothingly] Poor man! Not to worry, we shall repair your carriage and deliver this ice to make up for the accident!

05.02.036

Kenny: How can you deliver the ice? Look at you, with your flimsy clothing, you'll freeze to death! No one in their right mind would venture up this mountain without protective clothing, and at least five spare coats in case of accidental coffee spillage or urine malfunction.

05.02.037

Dur: Right you are! Sorry we couldn't help! Shall we be on our way? [Aside to the group] I don't like ice.=

05.02.037

Harvey : Do you want our help our not, sir?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.02.038

Alice: Why? Too much like water?

Kenny: Okay, then, fix it!

[The back axle is clearly broken, and this carriage is going nowhere. Plus, the enormous block of ice is way too big for the party's carriage.]


;;; Dom is still away?

Austin: [To the party] Perhaps we should don some of the spare coats he carries? Make mine a non-urine stained one.

05.02.039

Charlie: [To Austin, in a low voice] Excellent, get to it, Mr. Sleaze. I shall distract the driver. [To Kenny, gently pulling him away from the carriage] Now, we really should get all of the pertinent insurance information. Could we start with your maternal grandmother's name and place of birth?

05.02.040

Kenny: Why? Do you want to crash into her too?

[AUSTIN deftly slips around the far side of the carriage, and soon heads back to the party's one, weighed down with coats.]

05.02.041

Charlie: [To Kenny] One can never be too sure! [Spots Austin] Well, that should be all we need! You'll be hearing from our insurance company any day now, I expect. Do take care. Come along, group!

05.02.042

Harvey : [Loudly] And shift that wreckage out of the road before you cause even more damage to other honest travellers, what!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.02.043

Kenny: I can't move it! The axle is broken!


;;; Let us know when you're back, Dom.

Austin: [Sternly] Then, sir, you have no business driving it on a public thoroughfare, and you are in flagrant breach of the Highways Act of 1159. [To the party] Let us away!

Alice: [To Charlie] After your disaster the last time, I think I should drive!

05.02.044

Charlie: [Attempts to jump in the driver's seat] You misremember the situation entirely, further highlighting your unsuitability to driving!

05.02.045

Alice: [Dismayed at Charlie's agility] Bloody women!

[Everyone gets in, and, with a bit of to-ing and fro-ing, CHARLIE drives around the enraged KENNY.]

Alice: If it's so cold up there that we have to wear those coats, why was he bringing ice there?

05.02.046

Charlie: [Dismissively] Because he's a silly, silly man!

05.02.046

Austin : [To Alice] There are many millions of stupid people in this world Alice, I expect that he was one of them.


;;;; back!

05.02.047

Alice: Well, I bet it's not cold up here at all!

[About an hour later, after a long, steady climb, everyone is definitely feeling a chill from the elevation.]

Alice: [Teeth chattering] We better break out the parkas!

[The parkas that AUSTIN liberated all resemble the one that KENNY had, although are all quite a bit rattier and more well worn.]

05.02.048

Austin : [Dons the least stained parka, and helps Alice on with the next cleanest one] Perhaps they live underground, where it is warmer.

05.02.049

Alice: [Slips it on] Hey look! Mine has a cool yellow patch on the back!

05.02.050

Charlie: [Puts her hand over her nose] Why on earth did he urinate on his coats? Some sort of territorial marking ritual?

05.02.051

Alice: [Puts her hand in her pocket and looks disgusted] Maybe it was to mask the smell of the fish!

05.02.053

Dur: [Dons the rattiest parka] I don't smell anything...From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.98.198 with HTTP; Wed, 10 Nov 2010 06:42:57 -0800 (PST) Date: Wed, 10 Nov 2010 14:42:57 +0000 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: 8DoEtimGi70kc1sIQwyG_IEzV0c Message-ID: <AANLkTikfA6z7tqaSR-OPbiudQsSoweCKx==P1tx-5GDw@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

[The carriage slows down as the party approach another carriage that has slid on the ice and has one wheel stuck in a ditch. Written on the back of it is "Saint Taints Orphan Property". There is what appears to be an old man trying to push it out of the ditch.]

05.02.054

Charlie: I suppose we had better stop and help, though I have never heard of a so-called "Saint Taint"! [Disapprovingly] Also, the grammatical error is troubling, but one tries to rise above such things in a time of crisis.

05.02.055

Austin : One would have thought that an orphanage would be able to field at least half a dozen orphans to help this old man. Perhaps this is a trap and there are others waiting to ambush us near by? [Looks around to see if there are any tell tail signs of an ambush]

05.02.056

[The old man turns and looks at the party. This is MOLD POLYP.]

Mold: [Glares at Austin] What do you mean "old man"? I'm a woman!

05.02.057

Austin : As you please. [Casts another look around for an ambush] Are you alone?

05.02.058

Mold: All alone in the world, caring for a bunch of ungrateful orphans, with no one to help me, stranded at the side of a road in freezing weather.

[The landscape is very rugged and there are very few trees around. If there is anyone hiding, they almost certainly have to be inside her carriage.]

05.02.059

Clint: [Sympathetically.] Yeah, that's a tough break. [Thinks about it for a moment and eventually shrugs.] Okay, I suppose we should lend a hand. [Goes to take a look, prepared to slug the old woman if necessary.]

05.02.060

[The carriage is stuck, although if everyone got out to help, they could probably move it.]

Mold: [Turns away from Clint for a moment] No! Don't hurt me!

05.02.061

Clint: C'mon, guys, give the ugly old lady a hand here.


;;; Incidentally, I fully expect that the second the whole party is

occupied in

;;; shifting Mold's carriage free, she'll drive off with the one we're using.

05.02.062

[The party give a respectful round of applause.]

Mold: Typical! Applauding an old lady's misfortune!

Alice: Alright! Alright! I'll help. [Gets down]

Mold: [To Alice] You smell like pee.

Alice: That's because I have a fish in my pocket.


;;; Hey! That's way better than what I was going to do!

05.02.063

Charlie: Come, group! We must assist this frail old thing, else our respective consciences will gnaw at us for hours! [Hops out to help]

05.02.064

Mold: Typical! You don't really want to help, you're only doing it because you'll feel bad otherwise.

Alice: [Looks at the sign on the back of the carriage] What grammatical err- oh! I see. I'll fix that for you. [Adds an apostrophe after the "Taints" so it now reads "Saint Taints'"]

05.02.065

Charlie: [Eyes Alice's "correction," highly unimpressed] Mm. [To Mold] Who is this "Saint Taint," by the way? I don't recall having read anything on such a person.

05.02.066

Mold: Probably because you are so selfish and self absorbed. Why would you know or care about about a lowly saint? Just because he cared for orphans? If you're like everyone else I've met, you'll probably want to just rob the supplies and let the children starve.

05.02.067

Charlie: [Offended] Why, we would do no such thing! Besides, what could possibly have of interest to us?


;;;That's my three!

05.02.068

Mold: And so it begins! What treasures do I have that you can pillage, eh?

Alice: Oh my god! Let's just get her moving and get the hell out of here!

05.02.069

Dur: Besides that, I wouldn't let orphans starve! They are so much more tender when they have been fattened up first...=

05.02.070

Mold: I might have known! You all have the look of baby eaters about you!

Alice: Can we PLEASE just push this thing out of here?

05.02.071

Dur: [Sighs] Whatever gets us on our way. [Steps out and begins pushing aimlessly] =

05.02.072

Charlie: [To Dur, who is pushing at her back] Do stop that at once!!

05.02.073

Alice: [Panting] Hey! Come on! This carriage is really, really heavy. Well, at least, I suspect it is, but I'm only pretending to push.

[Eventually everyone lends a hand, and slowly the carriage moves off.]

Mold: [Blows some blue dust at the party] Hah! No, no you won't get to steal my precious cargo!

[Everyone is left coughing and spluttering, barely able to see, but MOLD leaps into her carriage and drives off.]

05.02.074

Dur: [Coughs] How rude! A face full of blue dust is definitely not the right reward for such an altruistic deed!=

05.02.075

Alice: [Tasting some of it] Ew! Tastes like burn!

05.02.076

Charlie: [Sputters] How dare she! After we so graciously helped her. And before we had a chance to see what she was carrying that was so valuable! [Examines the blue dust]


;;;Does Charlie recognize the blue dust as being anything in particular?

05.02.077


;;; Nope!

Alice: What a B - T - I - C - H. [To Dur] That's bitch. [To Dur again] Not Charlie, the old crone.

[It's starting to snow.]

05.02.079

Dur: [Shrugs] Why can't it be both?From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.98.198 with HTTP; Thu, 11 Nov 2010 08:56:45 -0800 (PST) Date: Thu, 11 Nov 2010 16:56:45 +0000 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: TSYcGG-MNGLXQRaQLKEDAwSCiZM Message-ID: <AANLkTim8WPV9f_b=Qvy6wNPyETpP997e6FenN2yip-bJ@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Alice: Wow! [Gives Dur a big smile] That's the cleverest thing I've ever heard you say, Dur, well done! That was really, really smart! [Thinks for a moment] What was it again?

[Everyone loads into the carriage again, with CHARLIE driving once more.]

05.02.080

Clint: [Irked.] Okay, group pact: Next time, leave the ugly insane old witch on the side of the road, or possibly hijack her cargo and *then* leave her on the side of the road.

05.02.081

Dur: Quiet down Clint! [Points to Charlie] She's right there!

05.02.082

Alice: Leave him alone, Clint, not everyone can be as subtle as us. We can talk about [points at Charlie] you-know-who in a while.

[CHARLIE jams on the brakes, sending the carriage into a skid before hitting a man running across the road. He hits the windscreen with a sickening thud. This is DAYNIEL DANLEWIS. He is dressed for winter, and has a red cloak on over his clothes, similar to the ones worn by the JEROMITES.]


;;; End of scene. Next one coming right up!


;;; We have a new player, Alain, who's coming in tomorrow. Please make

;;; sure he's on the distribution list from now on.

05.03.001

[Book VII, Act V, Scene III. The Scene of the Accident. ALICE, AUSTIN, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR and HARVEY are here, in the carriage. Also here, sliding down the windscreen is DAYNIEL.]

Alice: Yikes! [Calmly] You know, I'd just like to point out, when I crashed into that carriage full of orphans, no one was hurt. Hardly.

05.03.002

Clint: Good point, Bimbo. From now on, the men drive! [Gets out of the carriage once more to check on Dayniel.]

05.03.003

Dayniel: [Leaps to his feet and does a double take on Clint] You! [Punches Clint hard in the face, knocking him to the ground]

05.03.004

Clint: What the hell? Do I know you, freak? [Rolls out of the way.] Step on it, Charlie!

05.03.005

Dur: [Squeels in delight when Clint gets punched in the face] Is this a newgame? I wanna play! [Following Clint's advice, Dur steps on it. "It" being= clint's foot and the "stepping" actually a stomping.]

05.03.006

ng clint's foot and the "stepping" actually a stomping.]

Harvey : I say, that person certainly has a mean left hook, what! I assume they know each other!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.03.007

[DUR leaps from the carriage and right onto CLINT's foot.]

Dayniel: [Deftly lights a canister of oil, despite the heavy snow falling] And I know you too, traitor! [Throws the oil at the carriage, which immediately catches fire]

Alice: [Warming her hands] On the plus side, I'm not as cold any more. On the minus, [cries in panic] we're all gonna die!

05.03.008

Charlie: [Leaps out of the carriage] Out of the carriage, group! [Picks up a rock and throws it at Dayniel] Why are you attacking us and destroying our property?!

05.03.009

Dayniel: She who consorts with the traitors will be judged as a traitor! [Looks back behind him in the direction from which he came before glancing back at the party] You will be the first against the wall when he rises again! [Starts to run off in the same direction he was going]

Alice: [Leaping out of the carriage] Phew! That was close. Aiieee! My arm is on fire! [Calms down] Oh. It's just a yellow stain on my sleeve. [Points at Dayniel] Let's get him!

05.03.010

Harvey : [Jumping off the carriage] By the saints, are we destined to meet nothing but lunatics on our travels! Quickly now, [points at the burning ca= rriage] who has the marshmallows?

;; Out in meetings for the rest of the day!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.03.011

Alice: [Through a mouthful of something white and marshmallowy] Idunno. [Swallows and draws her sword] That guy has them!

05.03.012

[The party give chase, leaving the burning carriage behind them. They are gaining on DAYNIEL, who clearly has been through some sort of fight recently, but soon spot a horseman approaching from behind at speed. This is TITUS OPIUS.]

Alice: Look! Who's that guy?

05.03.013
05.03.014


;;; Colin's gone for the day

Harvey: By the saints! Whoever that chappie is, he is after our marshmallow thief!

[DAYNIEL gets to the edge of a huge ravine, and everyone skids to a halt a few feet from him.]

Dayniel: [Points angrily at the party] Heretics! Heretics and liars! [Points at Titus] And some random idiot who will suffer for his interference!

Alice: [To Titus] Why are you chasing him?


;;; Gone for an hour

05.03.015
05.03.015

Austin : [Straightens the sleve of his parker] Perhaps he too was fire bombed by this psychopath. [Makes some notes] If he survives this he will get four years hard labour for damaging our property. [Watches Dayniel to see what he is going to do]


;;; sorry for the low postage!

05.03.018

Dayniel: [Holds up a box that looks like it is holding a scroll] I have in my hand the translation to The Prophecy, [sneers at the party] just wait until you hear what it says about you!

05.03.018

Titus: [to Dayniel] I stopped being sorry when I was 13. Now you either jump or you give up. Although, I would like you to resist to give me a reason to burn you to a crisp.


;;; thank you all for the welcome

05.03.019

Dayniel: For Clementine! [Jumps off the edge]

05.03.020

Titus: [approaches the edge of the cliff and looks down to see where Dayniel ended] Religious freaks. Life is worthless for them. [to the group but no one in particular] What the heck is the prophecy he is talking about?

05.03.021

Clint: [Slips back away from the edge.] Well, at least I don't have to push that bastard now... Anyone feel like climbing down to sort through the.... uh... remains and find out what was in the box? [Turns to Titus] Name's Clint. And we're wondering the same thing - that's why we're here!

05.03.022

[Everyone goes to the edge to look over, and see that there was a tiny ledge just below, that has a tree growing on it. DAYNIEL's boot is caught on a branch, and he is hanging off it. The ledge is about six feet down.]

05.03.022

Charlie: [To Titus, extending her hand] And I am Dr. Charlotte Parker-Kensington, Watcher and leader of this group! [Looks down at Dayniel] Curses! Can we reach him?

05.03.023

Dayniel: Keep away from me!

05.03.024

Clint: [Shrugs.] Suit yourself. C'mon, gang, let's leave him there. It's what the freak wants, after all.


;;; Somewhere in there is a "leaving him hanging" joke, but...

05.03.025

Dayniel: How cowardly! Even though you know that I will almost certainly escape and come after you to kill you in the most gruesome fashion poss-

[Crack. The branch snaps, sending DAYNIEL plummeting down the mountain, smashing off various rocks and goats on the way down, eventually disappearing into the distance. There is no sign of the box he had.]

05.03.026

Titus: [to Charlotte] Hi Doc. I am Titus Opius. Resident vagabond and heart breaker [He check the woman head to toe until the branch breaks] One down. Millions to go. Any idea where the box is? Not that I care.

05.03.027

Harvey : [Looking down the mountain] To hell with the box, that person had our marshmallows! Perhaps they will cushion the thiefs fall! [Waves his fi= st down the mountain] Damn you!


;;; Welcome Alain!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.03.028

Alice: [Peering over] There are loads of marshmallows down there! [Looks closer] Oh, wait, that's snow.

05.03.029

Charlie: Curses! I wonder what he knew about the prophecy?

05.03.030

Austin : [Ponders the drop] I wonder if we should try to sue his next of kin, for the damage done to our carriage.

05.03.031

Harvey : Perhaps we can collect the box when we're on our way back down, what. Onwards and upwards, troop!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.03.032

Alice: But where will we go? Our carriage has been destroyed, and it's snowing, and I think that yellow stain on my coat is pee! [To Titus] What's your story? If you were trying to kill that guy, I'm guessing you're not totally evil.


;;; It's early for Alain!

Titus: Not totally evil, no, unlike that scum. [Points back in the direction he and Dayniel came from] There's a town a short distance over there, and it looks like there was some sort of massacre. Given how fast he ran when I arrived, I'm guessing he was part of the massacre.

05.03.033

Charlie: What a relief! One does grow tired of all of the evil-doers one meets in our line of work! Come, group, let us go to the town and seek a carriage-- [adds dramatically] and ANSWERS!

05.03.034

Titus: Don't expect too many answers; it seemed like everyone was dead.

[The party trudge back across the snow, which is now falling pretty heavily. A quick examination of the carriage shows that most of the fire is out because of the snow, but it is a smouldering mess. The wind picks up, making conversation impossible, and it is a good hour before they see some lights in the distance.]

Alice: [Shouting to be heard] Thank God! It looks like we're here.

05.03.035

Austin : [Indignantly] Thank god? We should sue him for producing such awful weather!

05.03.036

Titus: The tavern is all stocked and I could surely use a stiff one. Join me if you do not mind drinking among the dead, Men, women, children. Gutted. I found marshmallow man stealing from their bodies. I have limit. Only steal from the dead you killed.

05.03.037

Harvey : [Shivering] Any shelter is welcome shelter at this stage, troop, even if surrounded by the poor murdered townsfolk. No doubt yet another crim= e we will be blamed for! But surely one person could not destroy an entire town!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.03.038

Austin : Charlie's boyfriend could probably do it. He does not seem to take much time to do anything. Is that not correct Charlie?

05.03.039

Titus: [chuckling and trying out hard not too laugh out loud] Poor Charlie. She should have know what his nickname of "minuteman" really meant. [to himself] Aaah.... So many women in needs, so little time ....

05.03.040

Austin : [To Titus] You know Pestilence?

05.03.041

Charlie: [Surveys the damage] But he promised he'd [huge emphasis] TRY not kill loads of people. Surely he would try a bit harder than this [gestures to the destruction] , for me? [Crosses her arms and says huffily] And he isn't my boyfriend, nor does he go by any such nickname, as it would be most unsuitable for him.

05.03.041

Titus: [to Austin] Not at all. By I have seem the damages these men leave in their wake: angry, frustrated, uptight, bitchy, unsatisfied women. Once you show them the way, it changes their lives. I guessed from the Doc behavior that she was in the first category.

05.03.042

Alice: Your first mistake, Titus, was believing anything that Dur said to you!

[The party are now in the village. It is tiny, with the two largest buildings being a tavern, that has lights on in it, and Saint Taint's Orphanage, which also has lights on in it, as well as the carriage from much earlier parked outside it.]

Alice: [Draws her sword as they approach the tavern] Better be ready for this, just in case there are more of them here.

05.03.043

Dur: [Takes up a defensive posture... Directly behind Alice] I totally agree!=

05.03.044

Austin : [To Alice] Where did you get that sword from? [Glances at the others to see if they are armed]

05.03.045

Alice: I've had it for ages! We all got weapons from Pestilence back at the cottage.

[The door of the tavern opens from the inside. Enter FERRY MCBOBBIN, a man with a big smile.]

Ferry: Ha! I thought there might be someone out here. Come on in where it's warm, friends!

05.03.046

Austin : [To Ferry] What happened here?

05.03.047

Ferry: It snowed. It often does up here because of the elevation. Come on in! [Cheerfully] Free hot drinks for all new friends!

05.03.048

Dur: Ummm... We were under the impression that everyone was dead...From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.98.198 with SMTP id r6cs96095fan; Mon, 15 Nov 2010 08:23:16 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.231.37.197 with SMTP id y5mr4368813ibd.151.1289838194762; Mon, 15 Nov 2010 08:23:14 -0800 (PST) Return-Path: <chinca.al@tbcam.com> Received: from mail143.messagelabs.com (mail143.messagelabs.com [216.82.254.35] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTPS id hj41si325426ibb.27.2010.11.15.08.23.14 (version=TLSv1/SSLv3 cipher=OTHER); Mon, 15 Nov 2010 08:23:14 -0800 (PST) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 216.82.254.35 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of chinca.al@tbcam.com) client-ip=216.82.254.35; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: 216.82.254.35 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of chinca.al@tbcam.com) smtp.mail=chinca.al@tbcam.com X-VirusChecked: Checked X-Env-Sender: chinca.al@tbcam.com X-Msg-Ref: server-9.tower-143.messagelabs.com!1289838151!73831123!31 X-StarScan-Version: 6.2.9; banners=-,-,- X-Originating-IP: [160.254.80.12] Received: (qmail 11662 invoked from network); 15 Nov 2010 16:23:13 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO wsompapgtw13.bnymellon.com) (160.254.80.12) by server-9.tower-143.messagelabs.com with DHE-RSA-AES256-SHA encrypted SMTP; 15 Nov 2010 16:23:13 -0000 X-AuditID: a0fe5d78-b7b25ae000007a40-79-4ce15e6f80be X-Processed-DLP: gateway Received: from WTPCLDMGTW12.bnymellon.net (Unknown_Domain [160.254.193.35] ) by wsompapgtw13.bnymellon.com (Symantec Mail Security) with SMTP id F3.4A.31296.F6E51EC4; Mon, 15 Nov 2010 11:23:11 -0500 (EST) In-Reply-To: <AANLkTikEDfUoS9sAXcT_p4=eQh06Grqz8ATFYTPtAZum@mail.gmail.com> References: <AANLkTikEDfUoS9sAXcT_p4=eQh06Grqz8ATFYTPtAZum@mail.gmail.com> To: Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie> Cc: Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, conor.r@gmail.com, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu> MIME-Version: 1.0 X-KeepSent: 75FF2FB4:7487E588-852577DC:0059BF4C; type=4; name=$KeepSent X-Mailer: Lotus Notes Release 8.5.1 FP1 January 06, 2010 Message-ID: <OF75FF2FB4.7487E588-ON852577DC.0059BF4C-852577DC.005A036C@bnymellon.com> Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2010 11:23:09 -0500 X-MIMETrack: Serialize by Router on TPCGTW12P/GW/US/BNYMellon(Release 8.5.1|September 28, 2009) at 11/15/2010 11:22:47 AM, Serialize complete at 11/15/2010 11:22:47 AM Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"

Titus: [to Alice] My first mistake? I made my first mistake eons ago. Actually my middle name is mistake. [looks at Dr. Charlotte] Yep. Definitively high on the unsatisfied scale. [When Ferry invites them inside] Wait! Where were you a few minutes ago? Where are the bodies? What is going on?

05.03.049

Harvey : [Peering in] Well, they certainly don't look too traumatised by supposed murders and what not. However, on the other hand, they also look sus= picously calm!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.03.049

Ferry: Oh, they were. Not any more though.

05.03.050

Ferry: I think you'd better come on in. Something wonderful has happened -- we were all brought back to life!

Alice: [To the party] Can we go in? It's freezing!

05.03.050

Charlie: And what are they now?

05.03.050

Austin : [Glances around, worriedly] They all look very dead to me.

05.03.051

Harvey : [To Ferry] Well sir, that certainly is not the normal run of things, what! [Shivers again] Indeed dearest niece, that fire looks most invitin= g!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.03.051


;;; Just to be clear, there's no sign of any dead bodies!

Ferry: Pretty blissed, actually. Come on in, guys!

[MOLD, the old crone that the party helped at the bottom of the mountain appears in view, from inside the tavern. She has a big smile on her face.]

Mold: Hello! [Turns to people behind her, out of view of the party] Hey! It's those nice strangers who helped me earlier!

05.03.052

Harvey : Hmm. [Turns to Titus] I thought you said everyone was dead!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.03.052

Charlie: [To Mold] You are looking quite well. [Uncertainly] Er, have you by chance just been killed and then restored to a state of bliss??

05.03.052

Titus: [looking at Ferry with suspicion] Yeah. Like that! I smell a rat. [to Alice and Harvey] After you. [he positions himself at the door, not trusting these undead]

05.03.052

Austin : It is truly wonderful. How did it happen?

05.03.053

Dur: [Still looking nervous] Are we sure that these kind people are actually fully alive? Perhaps we should check for vital signs...=

05.03.053

Mold: That's exactly what happened! Come on in, dear, you all look frozen.

05.03.053

Ferry: [Laughs good naturedly at Titus] I know! It sounds weird, and I'd probably be suspicious too, but it's true.

[The party enter the bar. Aside from MOLD, there are three other customers inside, all of whom smile warmly at the party. They are KATIE HOLMLEY, BRYAN BEACREAST and JESSICA ELBA.]

Bryan: [Who's sitting nearest the fire] Please! [Gets up] Please, come and warm yourselves by the fire. [To Ferry] Barman! I'd like to buy these nice folks some drinks!

Katie: [Does a good natured pout] Aw! I wanted to buy them something, I'll get the second drink.

Mold: [To the others in the bar] See? I told you they were really nice! [To the party] I told everyone about how you helped me, and also about how ungrateful I was. Please accept my apology.

05.03.054

Dur: [Aside to the party] They are being so nice to us! It scares the crap outta me!

05.03.054

Harvey : How do you intend on doing that? By taking a bite out of them, nodoubt?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.03.055

Alice: I know! There's something strange going on here. I know, let's test if they're zombies. [To Ferry] Could we have some raw brains please?

Ferry: Sorry, we don't serve raw brains here.

Alice: How about cooked brains?

Ferry: Nope, not cooked brains either.

Alice: What kind of brains do you serve?

Ferry: No brains.

Alice: [To the party] Well then, I guess we're okay then!

Katie: [Still smiling] There's nothing to be worried about. We were all dead, killed in a horribly gruesome way, but God saved us.

05.03.056

Harvey : [Bows to Katie] I see, indeed! Any was any reason given for your miraculous resurrection?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.03.056

Charlie: [Whips out a notepad, poised to take notes] Oh, how splendid, I do so enjoy hearing about near-death religious experiences, particularly those involving a hallucinated deity! Describe this so-called God, won't you?

05.03.056

Titus: [rolling his eyes] like the gods would give a flying sh!t about a bunch of dead in the middle of nowhere. Now, [pointing at the two women] , you are extremely attractive for dead women but I don't buy this gods crap. [pulls out a cigarette and lights it up]

05.03.057

Katie: [To Titus] God loves us, Titus. He loves us so much that he sent an angel down to bring us all back to life. [To Charlie, with a sweet smile] He told us you probably wouldn't believe, Charlie, but Titus saw that we were all dead, and yet here we are, alive and full of bliss.

Bryan: We didn't actually see God, but the angel was beautiful.

05.03.058

Harvey : And did this angel give a reason for filling you full of bliss? Infact, what is this bliss, eh?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.03.059

Titus: [to Katie] Yeah right. Like an angel would care. Listen sweetie, I have been very close to an angel, actually a quarter - celestial and one thing I learned: they do not give two hoots about humans. It is like the gods. They do exist but they do not care. So something foul is at play here baby.

05.03.060

Austin : Perhaps you could tell us which angel it was, some of them were nice, after all.

05.03.061

Katie: [Smiles at Titus] Yeah, I thought that too, until I met a real angel. [To Austin] His name is Methos. [Gives a shiver of excitement] He brought bliss to our little town.

Alice: [To the party] Doesn't sound like any angel we met.


;;; The party have met several when they travelled back in time and met Phili.

;;; They can be seen by going to the cast page. The first one is Pan.

05.03.062

Austin : Methos. [Ponders, worriedly] Not any of the angels we have met, and his modus operandi does not fit that of an angel either. Infact this is more like the work of Pestilence, Contagion, or Trindle.

05.03.063

Mold: Oh no, Austin, you misunderstand. Methos didn't kill us, he brought us back to life. The men who killed us were all wearing red cloaks -- I hope you don't run into them, they are misguided, but violent.

Alice: You know, that guy who threw himself over the cliff was wearing a red cloak, and Titus here found him in the village.

05.03.064

Austin : [Waves a hand dismisively] Who knows, perhaps Aphi or Bjorseth made some new angels. Perhaps not. [Looks at the bar] Nunc est bibendum. [To the barman] Do you have a chilled bottle of Louis XIV perhaps?

05.03.065

Charlie: [Scribbling furiously] Fascinating! I don't suppose you know where these so-called angels went after you were resurrected, do you?

05.03.066

Ferry: [To Austin] I'm afraid not, friend, we've got nothing chilled as our delivery of ice never arrived in. [Gives a goofy grin] And, of course, we don't have any Louis XIV, we don't get much call for it up here. How about a beer or some cheap and nasty wine?

Mold: [To Charlie, with a smile] Poor Charlie, unable to accept that a state of Bliss is attainable on earth. Don't worry, though, God still loves you. He loves you too, Austin, and you, Harvey, and Clint and Dur and Titus.

Alice: What about me?

Mold: Actually, he's a bit embarrassed by your slutty appearance.

Alice: Hey!

Mold: [Laughs] Just joking! He loves you too, Alice. We all do. [To Charlie] He went upwards. [Juts her thumb up towards the top of the mountain] Spreading love, no doubt.

05.03.067

Titus: [takes a puff out of his smoke and looks angrily at the old hag] Take you love and shove it where the sun don't shine. These people are undead and likely controlled by evil. Time to cleansed them. May a fireball would do. In a close area. Perfect. [He pronounce a few arcane words and a ball of fire appears in his hand]

05.03.068

Ferry: Relax, Titus. We understand that you can't appreciate our bliss because of your own troubles, but don't fear what you don't understand. However, if you want to kill us, then do so, because death holds no fear for us, but think about the people that you will deny the world if you do so.

Alice: [Jumps back from Titus] Woah! Let's all calm down!

05.03.069

Dur: And besides that, where will we sleep and regroup if you burn this place to the ground!

05.03.070

Titus: [to Dur] You want to sleep in an undead infested inn? What are you a necrophiliac or something? [the little ball of fire disappears from his hands] I still believe we are at risk. The religious nutcase freaks, willing to die so easily are dangerous. May be I should blow out the place.

05.03.071

Last from alain 70

Alice: Just be glad he doesn't want to eat them! [To Ferry] How come you know our names?

Ferry: Methos told us.=20From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.204.101.75 with SMTP id b11cs254574bko; Tue, 16 Nov 2010 06:41:51 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.213.2.204 with SMTP id 12mr391658ebk.98.1289918510253; Tue, 16 Nov 2010 06:41:50 -0800 (PST) Return-Path: <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id u13si3227248eeh.3.2010.11.16.06.41.49; Tue, 16 Nov 2010 06:41:49 -0800 (PST) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of djmalzie@googlemail.com) client-ip=193.1.100.137; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of djmalzie@googlemail.com) smtp.mail=djmalzie@googlemail.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@googlemail.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [193.1.97.39] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4ce297dd0001>; Tue, 16 Nov 2010 14:40:29 +0000 Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id oAGEfm87028028 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Tue, 16 Nov 2010 14:41:48 GMT Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [193.1.101.32] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4ce297dd0000>; Tue, 16 Nov 2010 14:40:29 +0000 Received: from marshal5.ul.ie ( [193.1.100.135] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Tue, 16 Nov 2010 14:40:29 +0000 Received: from mail-wy0-f181.google.com (Not Verified [74.125.82.181] ) by marshal5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4ce297dd0000>; Tue, 16 Nov 2010 14:40:29 +0000 Received: by wyb40 with SMTP id 40so807935wyb.26 for <conor.ryan@ul.ie>; Tue, 16 Nov 2010 06:41:47 -0800 (PST) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=googlemail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:mime-version:received:received:date:message-id :subject:from:to:cc:content-type; bh=g5jImzTovfZq65UGly9I5XtiDxWa/zpywVLtkUVaqws=; b=bus0ny4QmrQtKR/kU/FCp4TJLA7Flb6UrwfP6ATai3HVBxztd8kae7VP/MXxfNZ1D1 Pv8rgVbI1b/jjWEdkEhbiiKAKaIRo45Wl7uZerCoby3kXD+wlgYeYRzkpvhpjkf4bw9H 788WfX5zDuQ8VAAor6nGnyQ6uzIej3Asqi5y8DomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=googlemail.com; s=gamma; h=mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc:content-type; b=ISydO+HAtOLZU8SICsbd809sY3ILCqKde3FQwIfZdnBiHj9nQ3vm4hTN4iXolozMbB tpXJmlB2FGFVduf+FY72qXr7Eu7qpIIZVyLfjwjYNmMEDRJ4jwHQXv4syA4JAU5Meg4Y SEUX+4rDvmK6UTjM4paSqt1BPfmOGmuqXznJUMIME-Version: 1.0 Received: by 10.216.2.141 with SMTP id 13mr230973wef.84.1289918507665; Tue, 16 Nov 2010 06:41:47 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.216.244.65 with HTTP; Tue, 16 Nov 2010 06:41:47 -0800 (PST) Date: Tue, 16 Nov 2010 14:41:47 +0000 Message-ID: <AANLkTimZ2yMv0tiyZtoYVyB0+zRnBb8fbwUD8+FZncYs@mail.gmail.com> To: chinca.al@tbcam.com Cc: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 16 Nov 2010 14:40:29.0637 (UTC) FILETIME= [371F1F50:01CB859C]

Austin : [Calmingly] We have not yet established if they are religous. We have all met Phili and Seth and his angels, and seen many wonderous feats performed by them, but we are not religous. [To the inn people] Are you religious? Do you pray etc?

05.03.072

Harvey : Really? And did he tell you why he told you? Our names, that is.

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.03.073

Ferry: Because if he didn't, we wouldn't know you when you arrived. He told us that Titus would probably come back with you, and that you might think we were zombies, or even that we were dead. If everyone in the village was dead, we wouldn't be able to give you directions.

Bryan: [To Austin] Nah, we don't pray. I don't think God really cares about people praying to him. Oh, and we're talking about God, not Phili. If believing in God means we're religious, then religious we are. Come on in, Austin, the water is fine!


;;; Bryan's assertion that Phili is not God is in direct contradiction

to virtually every

;;; organized religion in the Realms. However, when the party traveled

back in time

;;; way back in Book IV, Act V, they met Phili and Seth as real men, which

;;; suggested that Phili almost certainly is not a god. That said,

when they met Phili

;;; in their own time, he certainly seemed to be a god.

05.03.074

Charlie: [To Bryan] Are you saying you no longer believe in Phili? What more can you tell us about this God? And how do you know he is different than Phili?

05.03.075

Austin : Water? [Look around] Where? [Frowns. Then to Charlie] We already know that Phili is not god. Just because he does not die like normal people does not make him a god. [Shrugs] Just think of how many times I have died, yet here I am. [Smirks] Unless you already think that I am a god, which I can understand. [Adds] I am not a god by the way.

05.03.076

Alice: That's okay, Aus. No one thinks you're a god!

Bryan: Sure we believe in Phili, it's just that now we know he's not a god. We know he's different to God because Methos told us. [Gives a warm smile] God is love, Charlie, and that's all you need to know.

05.03.076

Titus: [spits before taking another smoke] I don't believe in gods. I know they exist through divine magic but I have no need nor use for them.

05.03.077

Bryan: I'm sure events in your life have made you that cynical, and just because you think you have no need for them doesn't mean that you don't.

Alice: And what directions are you supposed to give us?

Ferry: [With a huge smile] Directions to Ixi, of course. It's the place everyone wants to go to!


;;; That's the monastery that Darius told the party they needed to find

05.03.078

Clint: It is.... [glances at Charlie's map] past the squiggle and up the... uh... lipstick pass?

05.03.079

Ferry: [Looks at the map] Indeed! However, Lipstick Pass is large and difficult to negotiate, and, what with Ixi not being in our dimension, you need more information. Now, if only you knew a bunch of people who live near Lipstick Pass, who know how to get to Ixi, who really want to help and who are all round nice guys. Oh well. [Waits less than a second, before laughing out loud] That's us! We're those people! [To the bar patrons] A toast! To being nice!

Patrons: [Raising their glasses] To being nice!

05.03.080

Harvey : Indeed, sir! And what further information can you give us? Regarding our route to Ixi?

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05.03.081

Clint: And what the hell do you hippie freaks mean by "not in our dimension?" We're not gonna have to time travel again or anything stupid like that, are we?

05.03.082

Ferry: Oh no, my friend, nothing at all like that, don't worry. [Gives a big toothy grin] Actually, it's exactly like that. Ixi is in a different dimension, and the difficulty is finding the gate to that dimension. That's why those others killed us, they were trying to force us to tell them where it is.

05.03.083

Harvey : I say, that was a bit bad form of them, the cads! And did anyone blab the location of this gate?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.03.084

Katie: I did.

Bryan: And me.

Ferry: [Nods] Me too.

05.03.085

Charlie: Well, that isn't great, I must say. Would you please give us the directions, as well? And ideally any tips or shortcuts for reaching it quickly?

05.03.086

Austin : Sedan chairs?

05.03.087

Ferry: If only! It's dark now, so it's far too treacherous, but let me draw you a map.

[Borrows some lipstick from KATIE, and draws out quite a detailed map on a napkin.]

Ferry: [Hands it over] Here you go. You're more than welcome to stay in the tavern tonight. [Gives an even bigger grin than normal] It's free for people that God loves.

05.03.088

Austin : [Carefully] And does God love us?

05.03.089

Katie: God loves everyone!

05.03.090

Harvey : Hmm, if these cads already know the location of the gate to the temple, then we have not a moment to lose! [Looks longingly at the fireplace]

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.03.091

Katie: Don't worry, Harvey. That's not the location of the gate to the temple, it's the location of the Serpent Cave. The entry to the temple is deep inside there, and the others didn't get any information on how to navigate the caves.

Ferry: [Nods] In fact, that's why that one guy that Titus gave chase to came back. Most of his friends were killed in the cave, [frowns] it's sad really, because they are just misguided, [back to his normal demeanour] but you guys, on the other hand, will be given the necessary information.

05.03.092

Charlie: Splendid! Now perhaps we should have some food and rest before we set out?

05.03.093

Austin : [Agreeing with Charlie] Indeed, I am still badly wounded from our last litte skirmish! [Looks pained.. To Katie] You don't happen to be a nurse do you?

05.03.094

Katie: I'm afraid not, but Mold is.

Mold: [Smiles at Austin with a big, toothless grin] I can cure what ails ya!

Ferry: [To Charlie] Excellent! All the rooms are empty, so why don't you pick one each? I know you probably want a little privacy to discuss what happened here, so I'll bring some food up to you.

05.03.095

Austin : Why that is most kind of you. I suppose that I could try a beer too, I have heard that it is a little like champagne, but not nearly as good. Do you have champagne, perchance?

05.03.096

Ferry: I'll see what I can do!

Mold: I'll dig out a healing potion for you and send it up with Ferry.

[The party head upstairs, and there is a room for each of them, as well as a common area, which they sit into.]

Alice: Well? Do we think they're crazy?

05.03.097

Titus: [reluctantly enters the room and follow the group] I smell a rat. [Marco his pet rat show up] No. Not you. [looks at Katie and Jessica] So you think you can show me some of that LOVE you talk about?

05.03.097

Austin : Well, it is all relative really. After all, you are asking a group of people who recently were nearly killed watching a bunch of cult leaders smuggle themselves inside a giant golden unicorn into another cult leader's private quarters. [Sighs] What is sane?

05.03.098

Last Alain and Dom #97


;;; Katie and the others stayed downstairs

Alice: It could have been worse, Aus, we could have been the ones in the unicorn!

05.03.099

Titus: [stays silent. He is clueless about what others are talking about and does not care about it. He lights up another smoke and waits.]

05.03.100

Alice: Well, Titus? Were they really dead when you were here?

05.03.101

Titus: yep! As dead as one can be. Blood and guts. Men. Women. Children. All dead.

05.03.102

Alice: Huh. Insane or not, they seem to be telling the truth about what happened. The question is why would someone resurrect all of them?

05.03.103

Harvey : But have all of them been resurrected, dear niece, or only those few we saw downstairs?

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05.03.104

Dur: Perhaps we should investigate? Obviously it is too dark to head for the temple, but it can't be dark to navigate the twon and look for clues.

05.03.105

Alice: True. It is a very small town.

[There's a knock on the door. Enter FERRY with a huge tray of sandwiches and drinks.]

Ferry: Here we go! Nothing too fancy, I'm afraid, but it'll keep you going. [Hands a potion to Austin] Here you go, a healing potion.

05.03.105

Titus: Anyone here knows the detect poison spell?

05.03.106

Dur: But of course! [Snatches the potion and takes a sip, raising an eyebrow as he waits to see if it is indeed poisoned]

05.03.107

Titus: [shaking his head in disbelief] I meant the food and drinks .....

05.03.108

Dur: Oh! I should have known better! [Prompted by Titus, Dur takes a bite from each sandwich and a drink from each mug, 'testing' for poison. Then tur= ning back to Titus with a mouthful of food and drink, some of it spatteringas he talks] Is that better?

05.03.109

Alice: Oh great! Now it all really is poisoned!

[Everyone looks closely at DUR. He doesn't appear to be poisoned.]

05.03.110

Charlie: Well done, Dur! [Tosses Dur a copper piece] Let us feast, group!

05.03.111

Harvey : Not so fast troop! He's just swallowed a healing potion. Surely that would negate the effects of the poison, no?

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05.03.112

Alice: Unless it too was poison! [Looks at the sandwich she's about to eat] I suppose the only way to be sure is to have him check the food again.

05.03.112

Titus: [shakes his head in disgust and pulls out a beef jerky out of his backpack]

05.03.112

Austin : [Takes his healing potion back and sniffs it] That was my healing potion! I am the one with the grievous wound remember! Are you trying to get me killed?


;;;Is there much left?

05.03.113

Dur: [After taking several more 'testing' bites just to be safe, he turns back to Austin] It's no problem Austin! Just let this Doc take a look at wha= t ails you! [Interlocks the fingers of both hands and stretches them, palmsout, cracking his knuckles.] Ouch! Son-ov-a that stings!

05.03.114

[Most of the healing potion still remains, and about half of each sandwich remains.]

Alice: [Holding up a sad and tattered sandwich] I see. [To the party] Well? Are we going to check out the rest of the town?

05.03.115

Austin : [Downs his healing potion] Why not, the people do seem to be most helpful [Takes a half sandwhich and carefully nibbles at the untouched areas]

05.03.116

Alice: Do we tell them that we don't believe them? Or will we sneak out? I'm sure I could climb out that window and shimmy down, but I don't think the rest of you could. [Opens the window to look, only to receive a face full of snow as she does so] Glug! Brr!

[The rooms are upstairs, but the party have enough equipment to climb down.]

05.03.117

Clint: Hell, worse comes to worst we could make a rope out of some bedsheets and get out that way. [Looks around and grabs the least-eaten sandwich.]

05.03.118

Titus: [to the group but no one in particular, while eating his beef jerky] What is it that you are actually trying to do here? Some holy sacred mission? Or to gather gold and the pleasure of the flesh while annoying the establishment like me? [he checks both Alice and Charlotte from head to toe but does not show an expression on his face]

05.03.119

Alice: We're on a mission to save the world. We're not sure from whom, but it's either HARMA, Clementine, Jerome or a combination of all three.

05.03.120

Clint: Don't forget to add that we didn't exactly volunteer for this, it just sort of happened. Again. Second time this year!

05.03.120

Titus: So not for the gold, or the fame and whatever else goes with it? Strange. I understand the need to stop HARMA but Jerome? Isn't he a great man who save the world from the 4 horsemen a few years back?

05.03.121


;;; This is the common belief in the Realms, that Jerome saved

;;; the world, and the party were just his side kicks

Alice: No! He's not! He's a very naughty man who tried to take over the world, and would have if it wasn't for us. Somehow, everyone thinks that he saved the world, though. What a gyp.

05.03.122

Titus: [to Alice] OH come on! YOU were his sidekicks? Yeah right. No one ever heard of you. And you are so powerful you can stop someone like him? Give me a break. You may be cute and know it, but you don't strike me a world saver.

05.03.123

Alice: [Glares at Titus for a moment] What? You think I'm really cute? [Big smile] Aw! Thanks, Tites! [To the others] Right. Window or door?

05.03.124

Charlie: [To Titus] We have SO saved the world, and quite a few times! Though it may appear that everyday life comes close to overwhelming some of us on a regular basis, we in fact fight as a well-tuned machine against the forces of evil!

05.03.125

Alice: [Elbows Titus, whispering] She means me!

Titus: I'm sure. [To the party] Well? Will we investigate the rest of the town?

05.03.126

Harvey : Absolutely, what! And I think perhaps window is the more stealthy option!

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05.03.127

Titus: [to Alice] Yes, I can see that. And you know you are cute. Why else would you dress the way you do? [to Charlotte] I guess I should not judge a spell book by its cover, right. [to Harvey] How about we split? Some use the door and some the windows to confuse the undeads?

05.03.128

Charlie: Goodness, no! Never split the party, I always say. We don't know what we'll find out there. I agree with the Colonel that windows seem the wisest course.

05.03.129

Alice: [Dramatically] To the windows!

[Exit ALL, through the window, using a rope affixed to some heavy furniture.]


;;; End of scene, next one coming right up

05.04.001

[Book VII, Act V, Scene IV. The Blizzard. ALICE, AUSTIN, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR, HARVEY and TITUS are here, having just descended to the ground. The wind is very strong and it is bitingly cold. There are a few houses nearby with lights on, and the largest building, the orphanage, also has some lights on.]

Alice: [Shouting to be heard over the wind] Which one will we check out?

05.04.003

Harvey : Indeed, that will be our first port of call! [Starts walking towards the orphanage]

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.04.004

[The party head to the orphanage. It is so dark and cold that there is no one else out, so they get there without any trouble. A quick peek in through the windows reveals that there are children asleep in some of the rooms.]

05.04.005

Charlie: [Looking through the window] Well, I don't think we should risk startling these children. [Looks for other windows] Are any of these rooms empty?

05.04.006

Alice: Maybe they're dead? Then we wouldn't disturb them?

[There is at least one window to a room that seems to be empty.]

05.04.006

Austin : Let's check [Swiftly and stealthily checks around the building, looking much too professional]

05.04.007

Titus: [watching Austin looking professionally stealthy] Does he go after group members gold pouch?

05.04.008

Charlie: Not that I'm aware of! Come, group, let us enter through the empty room and investigate the situation here.

05.04.009

[Within seconds, AUSTIN has the window open, and everyone climbs into what looks like a small office.]

05.04.010

Clint: [To Titus.] Nah, but he might try to sue the gold out of you! [Looks around the office for a desk he can force his way into.]

05.04.011

Harvey : Does it strike anyone else as odd, that a small town of this size,located in the middle of nowhere, would have an orphanage?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.04.011

Charlie: [Nearly giddy with excitement] I'll check the files! [Digs into a filing cabinet]

05.04.012

Titus: Not stranger that the fact that the town is full of friendly and smiling undead.

05.04.013

Alice: Are they undead or not dead? [To Harvey] Maybe, but it was here before Titus found all the bodies, surely?

[CLINT rifles through the files, and there seems to be information about children staying at the orphanage. They are all pretty uncharitable, with entries like "Fred is annoyingly whiney" and such. There doesn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary.]

05.04.014

Clint: All looks pretty normal to me! Though now I wonder if Timmy didn't mastermind the whole dead townsfolk thing. Maybe we should try a building for adults next time we look for clues about that?

05.04.015

Harvey : I think we should make sure that these children are indeed, safe, sound and asleep before moving on.

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05.04.016

[The door opens. Enter NOEL ENTRY, a security guard.]

Noel: [With a big smile] Hi everyone!

05.04.017

Harvey : Er, hello. I suppose you're wondering what we're doing here?

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05.04.018

Noel: I kind of am, actually. My guess is that you're the Queens View guys and Titus, and you're trying to figure out if everyone was brought back to life. [Looks around, with an enthusiastic smile] How'd I do?

05.04.019

Charlie: Rather well, in fact! Also, we do so enjoy watching sleeping children. It's quite restful. Do you mind if we take a peek at the little dears?

05.04.020

Noel: Are you sure you don't want to make sure that they are alive and not some sort of crazed zombie children who will sneak into your hotel room and eat your brains while you sleep?


;;; Dom is out today

Austin: Partially.

Noel: Well, that's okay, because I know this all has to be very strange foryou.

05.04.021

Titus: [to Noel with a mockery tone in his voice] So how does it feel to be an undead?

05.04.022

Noel: [Gives Titus a big smile] Understanding.

05.04.023

Charlie: [To Noel] So it seems. Everyone in this town seems most accommodating. With that said, might we go take a look at those children, as we discussed?

05.04.024

Noel: Sure! As long as you're not going to steal any of them!

[NOEL escorts the party down a hallway and opens a door to a small dormitory. There are eight young children here, all asleep. They certainly seem to be breathing.]

05.04.025

Dur: [Hastily puts his 'kidnap sack' away] No, of course not, don't be absurd!

05.04.026

Alice: They certainly seem to be alive. There's only one way to be sure, though. Dur, do you think they're alive?

05.04.026

absurd!

Titus: Why so many orphans in such a tiny village? What do you do to the parents? Sacrifice them to your undead gods?

05.04.027

Dur: I can check [Looks thoughtful as he checks the vital signs of the children] !=

05.04.028

Noel: [Big smile at Titus] Heh! No, my friend, it's just that we're at the intersection between six large towns. It's the cheapest place that's close to them all.

[The children certainly seem to be alive.]

Noel: Anything else I can do for you folks?

05.04.029

Clint: Explain in your own words how and why this whole messed up living dead thing happened?

05.04.03

Titus: Like a god would spend the time and energy to resuscitate a bunch of commoners in the middle of nowhere. Now tell me, if that god of yours cared so much about you to stay alive, why the heck he let you being massacred in the first place?

05.04.030

Noel: An angel came and brought us all back to life. [Gives a huge smile] Can you feel our bliss?

05.04.031

Austin : I can see it, but I am not at all sure that I want to feel it, thank you. These things always come with a cost.

05.04.032

Noel: That's what I would have thought too, but this bliss comes from God's love, so there's no catch.

Alice: [Aside, to the party] Other than wandering around with a weird smile all the time!

05.04.033

Charlie: How nice for you! Then you wouldn't mind if we look around a bit, then? Perhaps take a look at some of the other buildings?

05.04.034

Austin : [To Noel] Which God do you refer to? It might make more sense to us if we have some idea about which god you are talking about.

05.04.036

Last from Alain

Noel: [To Austin] There is only one god. [To Titus] I don't know, my friend, but I'm sure he had a good reason. I don't think he generally interferes with things on earth, though. And it wasn't god who resurrected us, it was an angel, called Methos. [To the party in general] Please, feel free to look around. What's ours is yours. You won't find any locked doors here, not any more.

05.04.037

Clint: Can you describe this Methos, so we'll know him in case we see him?

05.04.038

Noel: He glowed with warmth; his serenity and love was like a beacon amongst all the death.


;;; Colin's away today

Harvey: By the saints, he sounds like a useful chap to have when it's dark! Private Scar asked what he looked like, though.

Noel: Oh, I don't remember his physical appearance, but physical appearance doesn't matter.

05.04.039

Titus: I think this is a cult. You ask them logical questions that disprove their belief and replies that their gods love you. I think I should have send a fireball and send these undead back to where they belong. May be I should start here. [look at the security guard] I heard your god and angel talking to me. They say you need yourself to save the children. Go ahead, fall on your sword.

05.04.040

Clint: [Firmly.] Leave the crazy insane cult lunatic alone. He takes care of kids in an orphanage, for Phili's sake! [To Noel.] But no collecting impressionable young virgins or anything like that!

05.04.041

Titus: [to Clint in a mocking voice] So GENIUS, how to you know he does not plan to feed the orphan to his god? You heard voice in your head? You got converted? May be you got saved, GENIUS. [shakes his head in disbelief and walk away turning his back to the warrior]

05.04.042

Noel: That's okay, I understand that his anger is fuelled by fear and ignorance. I was unhappy too, before I realised that god loves me so much.

Alice: [To the party] I don't think we're going to get much more here -- seems like he's sticking to the party line.

05.04.043

Charlie: Indeed! Typical of most religious organizations. Perhaps we'd best do a bit of exploring on our own, if possible? [To Noel] Well, you've been splendid, but we must be on our way!

05.04.044

Harvey : Just a moment, the party line may be known by the adults, but I wonder if we'll get the same response from these little ones [gestures toward= s the children] Let's wake one to find out. But not the whiny one!

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05.04.045

Noel: Ah, you must mean Billy! Don't worry, since Methos came, he's a very bllissed child. Come on, I'll show you.

[NOEL wakes one of the children. This is BILLY KIDD.]

Billy: [Slowly waking up] What time is it? [Straightens up and gives a big smile] Ah! It's time for bliss! Hello Noel! [To the party] Hi!

05.04.046

Austin : Well they have the brain washing of innocent children part excellently worked out, if indeed they are a cult. But where are the cultish mobs? Where is the chant of ridiculous mantras or prayer?

05.04.047

Noel: [Smiles at Austin] Ah! You're still thinking in terms of false gods. God doesn't need mobs, cultish or otherwise, and I don't think he particularly likes mantras or prayer. He just wants us to treat everyone with understanding.

Alice: [To Austin] This "god" person sounds like a dangerous radical to me!

05.04.048

Austin : [To Alice, slightly alarmed] So you are considering joining him already!

05.04.049

Harvey : [To Billy] Tell us about the angel, young man.

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05.04.050

Last from Colin 49

Alice: [To Austin] Certainly not!

Billy: He was really neat, he told us that there's no point in complaining unless you do something about it yourself. I want to be an angel when I grow u= p. Well, either that or a tree.=20From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.98.198 with SMTP id r6cs112176fan; Tue, 23 Nov 2010 04:24:47 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.227.156.66 with SMTP id v2mr7569725wbw.111.1290515086240; Tue, 23 Nov 2010 04:24:46 -0800 (PST) Return-Path: <heather.goggans@gmail.com> Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id b7si9237850wer.60.2010.11.23.04.24.45; Tue, 23 Nov 2010 04:24:45 -0800 (PST) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of heather.goggans@gmail.com) client-ip=193.1.100.137; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of heather.goggans@gmail.com) smtp.mail=heather.goggans@gmail.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@gmail.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [193.1.97.39] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cebb22a0000>; Tue, 23 Nov 2010 12:23:06 +0000 Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id oANCOhdG018837 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Tue, 23 Nov 2010 12:24:43 GMT Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [193.1.101.32] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cebb2290000>; Tue, 23 Nov 2010 12:23:05 +0000 Received: from marshal5.ul.ie ( [193.1.100.135] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Tue, 23 Nov 2010 12:23:05 +0000 Received: from mail-ww0-f45.google.com (Not Verified [74.125.82.45] ) by marshal5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cebb2290000>; Tue, 23 Nov 2010 12:23:05 +0000 Received: by wwi18 with SMTP id 18so5590839wwi.14 for <conor.ryan@ul.ie>; Tue, 23 Nov 2010 04:24:43 -0800 (PST) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:mime-version:received:received:date:message-id :subject:from:to:cc:content-type; bh=CLlgq5/QN0xUt9ILK9c8chQHaDSziMqD08G6M3REAQ8=; b=Fpxwh+lxadK0Gx74xarI2QrV2XMYswhes5Xm07Ni4dUFwiiA8Wa2UMMbs+U4ySE8W9 78PJhi1YhN/05Y0oYeauIJ/0rmTkvZuR720SL6dQs7yA9tH3WUPD6/U3ifDseKKCwUiq 6E83asucA/OvbTEIRVRN78cKd4PY+bePQaWrgDomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc:content-type; b=EAqfDoLdmWaGWKRJ0uPfDnWYYlIIkXrP9U08bzWrWiZaevMZX5w37Vh0TXhWb/NfRg WuCUNfNICZPYbjCK2W9Zjb5g46ivPeKOrDdneurX++o73engRajsoOIXwjSrXIN6cWlb gfwOz3Ih5Fvraq4J/x4KJQQHEXYXgeNggZy3cMIME-Version: 1.0 Received: by 10.216.20.141 with SMTP id p13mr898563wep.102.1290515082706; Tue, 23 Nov 2010 04:24:42 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.216.161.194 with HTTP; Tue, 23 Nov 2010 04:24:42 -0800 (PST) Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2010 12:24:42 +0000 Message-ID: <AANLkTikK5W6Vg3rQ4zwQ1bGXE77kTmfD0mm9fpoVh3fD@mail.gmail.com> To: Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com> Cc: dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie>, "chinca.al@tbcam.com" <chinca.al@tbcam.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 23 Nov 2010 12:23:05.0867 (UTC) FILETIME= [2E57E5B0:01CB8B09]

Charlie: [To Billy] Yes, and do try not to smile so much. It can't possibly be good for you!


;;;Ew, that kid is freaky!

05.04.051

Charlie: What was that in reference to, young man? Who was complaining?

05.04.051

Austin : [In a jovial and friendly manner] Fine ambitions for a young man like yourself! May I enquire as to what species of tree you aspire to be?

05.04.052

Titus: [stay silent. Roll his eyes and shakes his head each time bliss or god is mentioned]

05.04.053

Harvey : Wise words indeed from the angel! However, I'm sure being murderedis a fair cause for complaint, what!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.04.053

Last from Alain=20

Billy: Before I found bliss I often complained about being cold or hungry, but now I know it's not Mold's fault or Noel's fault.

05.04.054

Dur: Boy is it! That's what most of my patients complain about!

05.04.055

Noel: We weren't too happy about it at the time, but really, once you've attained bliss, these kinds of things don't matter so much. Our murderers were misguided and nothing more.

05.04.056

Harvey : Misguided they certainly were! So, does this bliss remove all of your concerns? For example, if you were attacked again, would you just stand= there and do nothing as you are mown down?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.04.057

Noel: Of course. God loves us. If we die, we will get to be with him all the time.

05.04.058

Titus: [to Noel with a sarcastic tone] So why don't you do us a favor and kill yourself? Isn't your goal in life to be with your idol that "loves" you? [turns around] I am going to get sick.

05.04.059

Austin : [A little annoyed, to Titus] My my you are a bundle fun to be with. Why should these nice people not be happy. We are forever meeting unhappy people, murderers, bureaucrats, demons, cults etcetera. You should be happy to meet some happy people for a change! [To Noel] Please excuse our rather agressive associate.

05.04.060

Charlie: [To Titus] I quite agree! Clearly these people are mere simpletons, easily led into believing any absurd thing, and you must show them more compassion. And do let them have their idiotic joy, for it surely must help soothe the emptiness in their lives! [Smiles to Noel encouragingly]

05.04.061

Noel: [Holds a hand up to the party] That's okay, we all figured that people would find our bliss difficult to understand, and he did ask a fair question. [To Titus] God wants us to live life to the fullest, and to help others live their lives. Suicide would just be selfish. We want to help spread bliss.

05.04.062

Titus: [to Austin] Do you have any idea the amount and the power of magic needed to bring back all these undead back to life? Of course not. So anyone or anything who does it has an agenda. And it is surely not love. If it loved them why did it let them die in the first place? And why did it resuscitate them if they were they suppose to be where they die? [shaking his head] What am I doing discussing logic with religious freak. [lights up a cigarette]

05.04.063

Noel: Poor Titus. Wait until you truly experience love; then you'll know that no agenda is needed. God resurrected us to help you. Normally he doesn't get involved in things on earth, but this time he did. And he did it to help you, Titus, and your new friends.

05.04.063

Austin : [Looks deeply offended by Titus] If there was a god he would not have given you a mouth. Idiot. [Rolls his eyes]

05.04.064

Clint: Yea, God's groovy that way. [Pauses to think.] Hey, kid, want a free checkup? Doc here probably won't accidentally kill you doing it, and if he does, you'll just end up with God anyway! [To Dur.] Can you tell if anything's wrong with these people?


;;; Also, that is indeed truly frightening, in a "I'm now 100% absolutely for

;;; all time not having kids" kind of way.

05.04.064

Titus: [smiling at Noel] I have forgotten more about love than you will learn in your lifetime. Actually lifetimes because you are an undead after all.

05.04.065

Billy: [Brightly] Sure!

Noel: Poor Titus. I'm sure you believe that.


;;; No posting from me tomorrow or Thursday!

05.04.066

Harvey : [To Dur] Right then, make sure the young chap is all ship shape!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.04.067

Dur: [Put his ear to the boy's ear] Hey I can hear the ocean! [Does a few more checks, including casting Detect Magic and Detect Evil; http://dungeons= .wikia.com/wiki/DnDWiki:Cleric_Spells] The fact that he isn't moaning 'braaaaiiiiinnnnnnsssss' is a good sign.


;;; Likewise I will be out tomorrow and Friday for the American Thanksgiving Holidays!

05.04.068

he isn't moaning 'braaaaiiiiinnnnnnsssss' is a good sign.

Harvey : Well, that's good enough for me, troop!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.04.069

Clint: There, see? Not an undead. Because he doesn't eat brains.

05.04.070

[DUR seems satisfied with the result of his spell casting.]

Noel: Okay, so, unless there's anything else I can help you folks with, we better let Billy get back to sleep. He has a busy day tomorrow -- those brains won't just eat themselves, you know! Only joking!

05.04.071

Charlie: [To Billy] Could you describe Methos for us? And perhaps tell us a bit about your experience in meeting him, as we understand it changed you profoundly. It would be ever so helpful.

05.04.072

Billy: He smelled like warm. He's really friendly!

05.04.072

Austin : [Brightly] oh, and what is on tomorrow that will keep these youngsters so very busy?

05.04.073

Billy: Being helpful, trying to be kind, that sort of thing.

05.04.074

Austin : [Sighs in relief] Well that is just splendid. What a nice place this is! [Beams a big smile]

05.04.075

Noel: It sure is! It's just a pity you can't stay.

05.04.076

Harvey : Indeed so, we've disturbed these tots enough for one night. Let usmove on.

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.04.077

Alice: Where next? Back to the tavern?

05.04.078

Austin : [Rolls his eyes] Back to the bottle, Alice?

05.04.079

Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii

Alice: I find it makes my more obnoxious colleagues easier to take. Also, it's 1am now and we need to sleep b=

--Apple-Mail-4--1058780376 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

05.04.080

Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

Harvey : Eh? Sleep B? Whatever do you mean, dear niece? But I agree, we should return and get some rest. It'll be a long day tomorrow

________________________________ Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

--_000_B934E39ABDD3B145B6E31161FB0920B003E6F1D760srvadmexch01V_

05.04.081

Alice: I think you definitely need some rest, Uncle H! Right, do we climb back in the window or in through the front door?

05.04.082

Charlie: We may as well go through the front door, given how ineffectual our attempts at stealth have been!

05.04.083

Austin : [Nods in agreement with Charlie] For once, Charlie, you are correct. Better to go through the front door in style, than to fail abysmally at sneaking in through the window, not including myself or yourself in the latter, naturally.

05.04.084

Alice: [Nods along with Austin] Good idea, Aus, we are crap, after all.

[The party get to the tavern, staggering through the freezing snow that's blowing all around. After what seems like an eternity, they finally pull the door open. Inside are FERRY MCBOBBIN, MOLD POLYP, KATIE HOLMLEY, BRYAN BEACREAST and JESSICA ELBA, the same people who were there earlier. They give a cheer when the party arrive in.]

Ferry: Come in! Come in! You must be freezing! We have hot soup for you!

05.04.085

Charlie: [To the party] Well, when in the land of the cheery undead! [To Ferry] That would be wonderful, [hopefully] though I would prefer cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off?

05.04.086

Ferry: [Brightly] I'll see what I can do!

Bryan: [In a friendly tone] Well? Happy now that you've had a chance to look around?

05.04.087

Charlie: Everything certainly appears just as you described! What happens next for all of you? Will life go on as it did before, or are you filled with new purpose?

05.04.088

Harvey : The only purpose they seem to have is to make soup and be cheery to strangers, what!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.04.089

Alice: [Holds up a sandwich] Don't forget that they make sandwiches too!

Mold: We're going to go and spread the word of our bliss! Can you just imagine how everyone will react when they hear how much God loves them?

05.04.090

Harvey : I believe sir, that we can indeed imagine. Infact, you can take our reaction to the news as an example.

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.04.091

Mold: Er, that's madam, and, although it is a little disappointing, it is understandable. After all, most people have an outdated and misinformed view of God. Still, that's not for you to worry about, not with the journey you have ahead of you.

05.04.091

Austin : [Sighs] Unfortunately, scepticism and suspicion are all too necessary in these times. [Brightens up] Fortunately most of the population cannot even spell them, so you may be all right.

05.04.091

Austin : Nibbles at a cucumber sandwich] Why such a tough day? Is the track bumpy?

05.04.092

Ferry: [Returning with some cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off] That's the spirit, Austin! Now, you guys better eat up and get to bed. Tomorrow will be a tough day.

05.04.093

Titus: [observe in silence the proceeding, staying away from the sandwiches and not getting close to any of the reborn dead villagers]

05.04.094

Austin : [To Noel] Don't mind Titus, despite all of the macho posturing he is quite terrified of you all, the ladies most of all I think. [Winks at Katie]

05.04.095

Katie: [Giggles coquettishly] Don't worry, Austin. Most suspicion is motivated by fear. He didn't choose to be like this, and God still loves him.

Ferry: Tomorrow you go to the gate to Ixi. I can only think of one person who successfully got through it.

Alice: What happened to the others who tried? Did they give up and go home?

Ferry: [Gives a big grin] That's not really important. What's important is that you guys will be successful.

05.04.096

Harvey : [Wolfing into a sandwich] Thank you for the vote of confidence, but how can you be so sure? Perhaps we too, will get tired, give up and go ho= me?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.04.096

Charlie: [To Ferry] Yes, no doubt we will succeed, but it would help us better prepare to know what happened to the others. Forewarned is forearmed and that sort of thing.

05.04.096

Austin : [To Ferry] Are you referring to that Jeromite that we met fleeing this place with a translation of the prophecy?


;;;;that's me until tomorrow

05.04.097

Ferry: No, Austin, the only person who successfully entered through this grate is a very misguided young man named Darius.

Mold: [A little misty eyed] He broke my heart, but he showed me a brief glimpse of joy in an otherwise bleak existence that seemed hollow and empty until I found my bliss.

Ferry: [Holds up a piece of paper] The cave that holds the gate contains some traps. This will give you some clues on how to get through them.

05.04.098

Dur: [Sounding hopeful] Well at least we know it is possible to make it through the gate if Darius has accomplished it already.=

05.04.099

Katie: [Helpfully] Although, several of the traps were installed after his visit to make it more difficult for people to get in there.

05.04.100

Harvey : And those, probably by Darius himself, what! [Looks at the piece of paper]

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.04.101

[HARVEY holds the paper so everyone can read it. It says "Take God's path; take the devil's path, and hide beneath the shade of night to enter the shimmering wall."]

Alice: That's about as clear as Charlie's map of the snowy mountains!

05.04.102

Harvey : [Exasperated] Even more riddles what! Can you just not tell us, inas plain and straightforward a way as possible?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.04.103

Ferry: I'm afraid not, Harvey, none of us have ever been there.

05.04.104

Clint: On the bright side, God loves us and will bring us back if we get one of the clues wrong, right?

05.04.105

Ferry: That's true, God loves you.

05.04.106

Charlie: Well, that's wonderfully reassuring, isn't it?! I suppose we should be on our way, then. Have you any supplies we could take to aid us in our journey? We would be most grateful!

05.04.107

Harvey : By the saints, girl, your enthusiam is admirable! But I think we should all get a good nights sleep and set out first thing in the morning, a= fter a hearty breakfast, of course!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.04.107

Austin : Perhaps you could arrange some insurace for us, I am quite sure that ours has lapsed.

05.04.108

Ferry: You are insured, my friends. The payout is eternal salvation and bliss, and your premium is to try your best to do good in the world. With God as your underwriter, life is a certainty!

[The blissed villagers all cheer and clap, but the party just look at them blankly.]

Alice: Let's go to bed.


;;; End of scene, next one coming right up!

05.05.001

[Book VII, Act V, Scene V. The Tavern. ALICE, AUSTIN, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR, HARVEY and TITUS are here, having just come downstairs in the morning. Down below is FERRY, who has laid out a generous breakfast. There is also a pile of coats, some weapons and various supplies.]

Ferry: Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooood morning!

05.05.002

Austin : [Surveying] And a jolly good mornig to you! [To the party, nodding towards the weapons] Those will be some insurance at least.

05.05.003

Charlie: Yes, what a comfort in these uncertain times! Now, then--shall we load our supplies and make ready for this trip, at last?

05.05.004

Ferry: [Takes out a fairly detailed map] Okay, here are the directions to the cave. You need to go through it and somewhere deep inside is a portal to Ixi. The weather is very severe, so make sure you head straight to it. When you get to Ixi, well, [his ever present smile flickers for once] just be careful not to dip into temptation too much.

05.05.005

Charlie: What sort of temptation do you mean?

05.05.006

Ferry: Temptation to hurt God. Ixi is at a dimensional crossroads, there are all sorts of [waves his hands around vaguely] weird things floating around. If you get drenched by the darkness, you will carry its seed.

Alice: [To Charlie] I think he's talking about you and Pestilence!

05.05.007

Charlie: [Gasps] You're not, are you?! [Touches her stomach anxiously]


;;;That's my three, I think!

05.05.008

Ferry: [Gives Charlie a big grin] No!

05.05.009

Austin : Although, who knows [Looks at Charlie's stomach]

05.05.010

Dur: [With a mouth full of breakfast already] Is they don't mean Pestilence, then what DO they mean?

05.05.011

Harvey : Perhaps we will each be tempted by something tempting. As part of the test! [Gobbles up a mouthful of breakfast] I say, that wasn't a part of= the test, was it?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.012

Austin : No colonel, I do not believe that it was, but it may well be a similar test involving gourmet cuisine that you do have to overcome.

05.05.013

Titus: [eats in silence his own food, staying away from the undead made fare. Sporadically feeds cheese to his pet rat]

05.05.014

Alice: Well, Titus, you've brought such sunshine into our lives, do you fancy coming along? [To the others] He did help us, after all.

05.05.015

Titus: Well, I could stay here with the undead and would likely send them back to the afterworld where they belong. Or I could continue my road to nowhere. Or I could follow you to a dangerous gate to a dangerous world for a prophecy I know nothing about. Actually, the idea of giving in to temptation does intrigue me. So if you want me along, I will come.

05.05.016

Austin : You should come with us, we will probably find you some thing to ill that needs to be killed. A much better past time than murdering Innocent people.

05.05.017

Titus: It is not murder if they are already dead. And undead are not innocent people.

05.05.018

Charlie: Perhaps not in all cases, but surely these people are well-meaning, though tedious?

05.05.018

Austin : They are not undead!

05.05.019

Ferry: Forgive him, Austin, he fears what he doesn't understand.

05.05.019

Titus: Yeah. And god loves you and other BS. Blah. Blah. Blah. Whatever!

05.05.020

Alice: And this food hardly tastes poisoned at all!

05.05.020

Titus: [laughing hard] Yeah. ME not understanding magic. It is like Austin not understanding being a weasel, Alice not understanding promiscuous, Dur not understanding rudeness or Harvey not understanding being a bully. Yes, you are right on target. I do not understand. [big smile and a demented look on his face and a really dumb voice] god loves me and Austin .....

05.05.021

Ferry: [Smiles] Now you're getting it!

05.05.021

Alice: What does promiscuous mean?

05.05.022

Charlie: [To Titus, angrily] We do appreciate your assistance, but you really must cease insulting the members of this party if you expect to travel with us!

05.05.022

Titus: [laughing so hard, he nearly start crying] Alice, if I could, I would kiss you! [His pet rat runs back into the pouch]

05.05.024

Dur: Hey! Since when has THAT been a rule?From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.75.205 with SMTP id z13cs385517faj; Tue, 30 Nov 2010 09:20:00 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.213.8.146 with SMTP id h18mr2808271ebh.87.1291137600227; Tue, 30 Nov 2010 09:20:00 -0800 (PST) Return-Path: <Colin.Dinan@version1.com> Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id z55si15745598eeh.41.2010.11.30.09.19.59; Tue, 30 Nov 2010 09:20:00 -0800 (PST) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of Colin.Dinan@version1.com) client-ip=193.1.100.137; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of Colin.Dinan@version1.com) smtp.mail=Colin.Dinan@version1.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [193.1.97.39] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cf532060000>; Tue, 30 Nov 2010 17:19:02 +0000 Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id oAUHJx5J030488 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Tue, 30 Nov 2010 17:19:59 GMT Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [193.1.101.32] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cf532050001>; Tue, 30 Nov 2010 17:19:01 +0000 Received: from marshal5.ul.ie ( [193.1.100.135] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Tue, 30 Nov 2010 17:18:25 +0000 Received: from SRVADMEXCH03.v1.com (Not Verified [83.71.143.7] ) by marshal5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cf531e10000>; Tue, 30 Nov 2010 17:18:25 +0000 Received: from srvadmexch01.V1.COM (192.168.122.132) by mx0.version1.com (172.19.131.26) with Microsoft SMTP Server (TLS) id 8.1.436.0; Tue, 30 Nov 2010 17:19:21 +0000 Received: from srvadmexch01.V1.COM ( [192.168.122.132] ) by srvadmexch01.V1.COM ( [192.168.122.132] ) with mapi; Tue, 30 Nov 2010 17:19:21 +0000 To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie> CC: "chinca.al@tbcam.com" <chinca.al@tbcam.com>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, "Tom Henderson" <th4@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu> Date: Tue, 30 Nov 2010 17:18:17 +0000 Thread-Topic: [qv] 05.05.024 Thread-Index: AQHLkLK5dD/bvOpoyUmAq9ZOuROITwMessage-ID: <B934E39ABDD3B145B6E31161FB0920B003E6F1D777@srvadmexch01.V1.COM> Accept-Language: en-US Content-Language: en-GB X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: acceptlanguage: en-US Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable MIME-Version: 1.0 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 30 Nov 2010 17:18:25.0595 (UTC) FILETIME= [990410B0:01CB90B2]

Harvey : [Angrily, spraying food from this mouth] Just who the hell do you think you are sir! We neither have use nor need for you!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.024

Alice: It's okay, Dur, people are allowed to insult you!

05.05.025

Titus: Of course you have no use for me. I saw how well you handled the religious freak that burned down your carriage. And of course, you would not need an arcanist. And who the hell I am? Titus Opius, at your service, SIR! [winks at the military man]

05.05.025

Austin : [To Titus] Well I'd rather be a weasel than a pompous ass like like you.

05.05.026

Alice: [Whispers to the others] Is he trying to hit on Uncle Harvey?

05.05.026

Clint: [To Alice] Yes. So he and the lawyer really should get along a lot better! [Gnaws on some curried snake's feet.] Guys, can we hold the arguing until after I've had my breakfast?

05.05.026

Titus: [to Austin, in a serious tone] At least, we both know who you REALLY are .....

05.05.027

Alice: But we don't really know who you are, Titus, other than the fact that you seem to hate everything and everyone.

05.05.028

Titus: [to Alice, then the group in a very grave and serious voice] This is a very good question. I do not hate everything and everybody. I just have no patience for authority, hierarchy, religion and law. I have seen so many crimes committed in the names of these ideas that it makes me sick. I have seen so many poor innocents suffering by the hand of the military, the clergy, the police and the law that I have no room for it in my heart. I love liberty, love, freedom, peace and kindness. I love the smile of a mother to her child. I love the taste of coffee after a good night of love. I love the smell of a cigarette after a job well done. And I love the sound of religious fanatics being eaten by lions ..... [soft smiles .....]

05.05.029

Alice: [After leaning her head to one side and pretending to be asleep, before jolting awake] Well. I'm glad we got that cleared up!

05.05.030

Clint: Yeah, who knew he's actually a peace-loving tree-hugging weirdo? [Starts to pack away supplies for the trip.] Say, Ferry, you got any cigars around here?

05.05.031

Harvey : Good grief [to Titus] , you're not going to start dancing around inthe nip, badly singing terrible songs about peace and goodwill, and suchli= ke, are you?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.031

Ferry: Sure do, Clint. You're more than welcome to take some -- last smoke for the condemned man and all that!

05.05.032

Titus: [winks at Ferry and pulls out a pack of smokes and offer one to Clint] The last cigarette .....

05.05.032

Titus: [to Harvey] No. I only get in the buff to honor a lady or take a shower. And I cannot sign for my life. [to Clint] Thanks for the cigar. I will keep this to celebrate a victory!

05.05.032

Austin : I don't think so Colonel, he's more of the throwing innocent people to lion type.

05.05.033

Ferry: Well then! If that's everything, just take whatever you need and don't forget your flasks of hot coffee -- very important in a climate like this.

[There is plenty of equipment, so people can get anything they want -- within reason!]

05.05.033

Clint: Hey, you're not so bad, Titus! But a real man smokes these! [Locates the cigars in the pile of equipment and stashes several away, offering one to Titus.] The cheaper the better, too!


;;; Because it helps mask the smell, no doubt!

05.05.034

Austin : [Finds a rather fine slingshot, a bag of bullets and a selection of throwing knives and daggers. To Ferry] Most kind. [Takes a flask of hot coffee]

05.05.035

Harvey : [Scoops up a pocketful of honeyed locusts and takes a sword from the pile] I suppose a freshly laundered crisp white starched shirt would be = out of the question?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.036

Austin : [Quickly flits over the equipment and pulls out 3 ropes with grapples, and hands one to Alice Clint and Titus] I expect that we will need these. [Takes a honeyed locust and nibbles on the head]

05.05.037

Alice: [Expertly feeling the rope] Hm, double twisted half-inch cotton/silk blend, very nice, although a relatively high chafing probability.

Ferry: [Produces a freshly starched shirt than shines whiter even than his teeth] Here y'go. [Puts it on the table where it stands on its own, such is the amount of starch]

05.05.038

Austin : [Gets himself some warm looking gloves and a hat, crampons and snow shoes, then stops dead in his search. To Ferry] Not the greatest slection of footwear, you don't happend to have anything by Hugio Sucksozi do you? In a size 43, Realm Size of course.

05.05.039

Ferry: I'm afraid not, my friend, not much call for them up here.

[Before long the party are ready, and head off into the snow, waved off by a cheering crowd. It is bitterly cold, and the party trudge on in silence for a good twenty minutes, heading upwards, following the map. Eventually the wind and snow dies down, but it is still freezing.]

Alice: You know, I've been thinking. Maybe we-

[Splat. ALICE gets hit in the back of a head with a snowball.]

Alice: Ow! Hey! That really hurt!

05.05.040

Austin : [Ducks] Are we under attack? Who was that?

05.05.041

Charlie: [Hurriedly makes a snowball and looks around for the attacker] Arm yourselves, group!

05.05.042

Alice: I don't know! [Feels the back of her head, and shows that there is blood on her hand] Hey! That thing cut me!


;;; Lose 6hp Alice

[Two more snowballs come, this time from the opposite direction, one hitting TITUS and the other narrowly missing CHARLIE.]

;; Lose 5hp

Alice: [Pointing to a figure ducking behind a snow drift] Over there!

05.05.043

Charlie: [Approaches the figure, staying low to the ground] Stop pelting us with your deadly snowballs at once! [Draws her sword]

05.05.044

Austin : [Readys his sling shot to shoot at the next opportunity] We surrender!

05.05.045

Wesurrender!

Titus: [bleeding from the deadly snowball] You want to play that game? Let's use MY rules [whispers a few arcane words and energy darts shoot out of his fingers and hit the figure (cast Magic Missiles)]

05.05.046

[The figure, which is easily nine feet tall, leaps up and roars at the party. This is BROSTY THE SNOWMAN. Both AUSTIN and TITUS hit him with their respective missiles, but they simply pass right through.]

Brosty: [Gives an evil cackle] Prepare to meet your doom! [Throws a snowball at Austin that hits him and knocks him down]


;;; Lose 6hp Austin

05.05.047

Harvey : What manner of foul fiend is this? Did anyone think to bring a torch? Or matches?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.048

Charlie: [Thrilled, sheathes her sword and pulls out her notebook instead] Oh, please try and avoid melting it until I can ask it just a few questions. This will make a fascinating paper for the next New Discoveries in Cryptozoology conference! [To Brosty] Hello, there! Might I have a word with you about your reproductive practices?

05.05.048

Austin : [Reeling from the attack ducks behind Alice] I believe that Mr Scar may have a lighter, and perhaps Alice has a perfume spray, you could improvise a flame thrower!

05.05.049

Brosty: [Growls at Charlie] It's the cold! It makes it look small! [Fires a snowball at her, hitting her full in the face]


;;; Charlie lose 8hp

[Another snowman appears at the other side, and hits CLINT with a snowball. This is CROSTY.]

Clint: Ow! What the hell? [Draws his sword]


;;; Clint lose 7hp


;;; You can see the current hitpoints here:

<P><A href=http://queens-view.com/hp.php>Hit Points</A>

05.05.050

Alice: [Turning to look at Austin] I do, but even though the wind has died down, we'll never get that lighter going!

[The snowmen are closing in, and let loose more snowballs, hitting each of CLINT and HARVEY.]

Clint: Right! Enough's enough! [Slices right through Crosty, apparently doing no harm] Oh.


;;; Harvey lose 9hp, Clint lose 10hp

05.05.051

Titus: [moving away to have proper shooting distance] Let's try this. [unleash a fireball spell with the center of the hit behind the snowpeople to avoid burning any team members]

05.05.052

[The fireball explodes behind CROSTY (he is at the opposite side of the party to BROSTY), and he screams in pain, as BROSTY fires a particularly large snowball at TITUS, knocking him to the ground.]


;;; Crosty lose 20hp, Titus lose 12hp

Alice: Holy crap! We need to melt these guys quickly!

05.05.053

Dur: How do we do that? Pee on it?=20

05.05.053

Titus: [letting a scream of pain as the snow ball hit him real hard] I will not survive another hit like this. But I will go down in flame ..... [shoot another fireball at CROSTY] This should help with your shrinkage issue.

05.05.054

Alice: Dur! We want to melt them, not write our names in them!

05.05.055

Charlie: [Sputters angrily] Fine, then see how you like it when your kind remains a mere urban legend! [Digs through her knapsack] Quickly, light your torches! [Tries to light a torch]

05.05.056

[Alas the wind is too strong. BROSTY and CROSTY close in, with each of CHARLIE and DUR taking a close range smack of a snowball.]


;;; Charlie lose 13hp, Dur lose 15hp

05.05.057

Dur: [Yelling over the wind] Perhaps we could start a landslide and seek shelter? Maybe knock these crusty old snow folk off the mountain? Titus, try = blasting above us!

05.05.057

Austin : [Taking the lid off his flask, throws the coffee over Brosty] Use your coffee!

05.05.058

Charlie: [Starts wildly flinging coffee on Crosty] I don't think we have enough coffee for this!

05.05.059

[Both BROSTY and CROSTY start screaming in agony, which just gets worse as the rest of the party throw their coffee on. Soon there is little more than some carrots and coal left.]

Alice: Phew! That was close! [Looks around] I sure hope we're nearly there!

05.05.060

Harvey : By the saints, troop, I've never seen the like! Let's move fast before more of those creatures arrive!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.061

Alice: Just let me finish my coffee first. [Sips some coffee] Mm.

05.05.062

Harvey : [Munching on a carrot] Mm. [To Alice] Save some coffee for later, dear niece. There may be more of those things about!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.063

Alice: They'd better not get between me and my coffee!

[The party trudge further along and eventually approach what appears to be the entrance to the cave that FERRY told them about. Standing outside is yet another snowman, TROSTY. Although he is facing in the rough direction that the party are coming from, he doesn't seem to have seen them.]

05.05.063

Charlie: Was this what the villagers meant about bringing lots of coffee?! You'd think they might have warned us!

05.05.064

Harvey : Agreed! Who has any coffee left?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.065

[Everyone but ALICE has exhausted their coffee supplies. The snowman still hasn't noticed the party.]

Alice: [Pours out a cup and hands it to Harvey] Here, it's my last one.

05.05.066

Clint: [Pondering the situation.] Do you think this freak is friendly? He's smiling, anyway...


;;; I don't suppose anyone happened to grab, say, some napalm on the way out?

05.05.067

Harvey : Perhaps if one of us are quick enough, they could dash up there and steal it's eyes, while the rest of the troop distract it!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.068

Alice: Good idea, Harvey. Now, who's the fastest at running through two foot deep snow. I'd do it, but [pulls one of her legs out of a massive snow drift to show off her six inch heels] these are less practical than you might imagine.

05.05.069

Austin : [Looking at the heals. Deadpan] Really. [Looking at the snowman] He does look quite smiley and nice that one. Perhaps he will help us?

05.05.070

Alice: Why don't you ask? He still doesn't seem to have noticed us!

05.05.070

Charlie: [Bleeding profusely] Perhaps, but is any of us in good enough shape to risk being wrong? Perhaps we could just slink on and try not to attract its attention? We really must see to our wounds.

05.05.071

Austin : Why don't you ask?

05.05.072

Last from Dom 71

Alice: I'm too busy having you hide behind me.

05.05.073

Charlie: [Still bleeding] Again, I say, let us try and sneak away rather than confront this snow-creature!

05.05.074

Austin : [Sighsd] He is standing in the entrance to the cave, how on earth are you lot going to sneak past him? [Tuts] Do I have to do everything myself! [Stands up and waves to the snowman] Hello there friend! Perhaps you would be so good as to help us?

05.05.075

Harvey : By the saints, coffee at the ready!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.076

Alice: Thank God! I'm dying for a cup!

[TROSTY's look doesn't flicker.]

05.05.077

Dur: Hmmmmm. Perhaps I can patch someone up enough that they could investigate further? [Jingles his medical bag and casts cure on whoever took the mo= st damage]

05.05.078


;;; Charlie gain 13hp

Alice: [To Trosty] Hello? Hey! We're talking here!

[TROSTY stays quiet, not even looking at the party.]

05.05.079

Harvey : Hmm, perhaps this chap is just an actual normal snowman!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.080

Charlie: [To Dur] Why, thank you! Right, here goes nothing! [Attempts to get past Trosty, moving very slowly] =

05.05.081

Dur: [Watching Charlie go] Or maybe it's a clever ruse!From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.75.205 with HTTP; Thu, 2 Dec 2010 07:31:53 -0800 (PST) Date: Thu, 2 Dec 2010 15:31:53 +0000 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: RPpNJRu9bAxUBn5cHw6YFI1-n8k Message-ID: <AANLkTi=0dVQ8JfqwFOv0u9DXyy_y0RPrdX5nnktC-vcZ@mail.gmail.com> To: Heather Goggans <heather.goggans@gmail.com> Cc: Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, "chinca.al@tbcam.com" <chinca.al@tbcam.com>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

[Everyone follows close behind, also inching along. TROSTY doesn't make a move.]

Alice: Hey! He's just a plain snowman! [Walks up to him] Hi, Mr. Snowman!

Trosty: Boo!

Alice: [Jumps back in shock] Help!

05.05.081

Titus: [weak and badly hurt, follows the group. As Dur cures Charlie] I could use some healing, Padre

05.05.082


;;; Oops, sorry about that, Alain, Kevin said he wanted to heal the

weakest person.

;;; My mistake -- let's hope poor old Titus doesn't get killed!!

Trosty: [Jovially] Don't worry, there's [with emphasis and a rather disturbing wink] snow need to be afraid!

05.05.083

Charlie: [Laughs hysterically] Wonderfully amusing! I wonder if you might be willing to chat with me about your anatomy? [Modestly] I am a world-renowned scientist and would like very much to study your kind. [Casually, to the party] You can go on ahead, and I will be along shortly!

05.05.084

Harvey : No. We are leaving no member of the troop behind! Research or no.

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.084

Trosty: About my anatomy? Oh! Oh, I get your [cheesily] drift! Better not delay, though. There are other snowmen around, and they would kill you without a second [huge emphasis] thawed!

Alice: [To the party] Oh my god, he's so annoying. Let's kill him now! It's a pity, because I thought this one was all white. [Thinks for a moment] Hey! That's actually good fun!

05.05.085

Trosty: [Nods] It's like the mother penguin always says, beak careful!

05.05.085

Titus: [smiles at Charlie's research subject] Each his own kink, I guess. [to Trosty] Why are you nice instead of trying to kill us like the other two?

05.05.086

Harvey : [Laughs long and loud] Oh, oh, I have one! Why are snowmen rubbishin a fight. Because they have no balls! [Laughs loudly before stopping] Er= , I mean, snow balls!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.087

Trosty: [Defensively] Hey! It's the cold that does that! [To Titus] Because unlike my ex-comrades, I'm not filled with rage. I stay here to warn people coming out of the cave to be wary of them. Unfortunately, the other snowmen often try to chase me off.

05.05.088

Austin : Do many people come out of the cave?

05.05.089

Harvey : Good question private! [To Trosty] Also, how long have you been here?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.090

Charlie: [Excited, flips out her notebook] Also, do you have a need to eat? Sleep?

05.05.091

Austin : [To Charlie] I believe that he was far more interested in your request to examine his specie's reproductive mechanism.

05.05.092

Trosty: I've never seen anyone come out, and I never eat or sleep. I've been here for about fifty years.

Alice: And have you ever attempted to reproduce in that time?

Trosty: [Head drops] No.

Alice: Wow, you get almost as little sex as Dur!

05.05.093

Harvey : Fifty years? Fifty years? No one has come out. How many have gone in?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.094

Trosty: Three hundred and fifty seven. Now, twenty seven of them did come running out screaming, but all of them either died from exposure, were killed by snowmen or were inadvertently given a heart attack by a well meaning snowman.

05.05.095

Austin : [Sympathetically] Aww, poor well meaning snowman, that must have been horrible.

05.05.096

Harvey : [Laughs long and loud] However, I dare say you can't lose something you never had, what!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.096

Trosty: [Sadly] Yes, it wa-- I mean, yes, I'm sure it was.

05.05.096

Titus: [to Charlie] May be you could inspect his reproductive system and make sure it is still working. After a while, things stops working if you do not use them. I'll promise I make sure everyone will look the other way, Lady Godiva

05.05.097

Dur: What?! You lose things that you don't use? Is that what happened to your manners?

05.05.097

Trosty: There's nothing I can tell you. There used to be an automatically triggered spell that turned people into abominable snow men, which is what happened to me and the others. I vowed to stay here to warn people about it, although most wouldn't listen to me. Eventually someone did, and disarmed the trap. Other than that, all I know is that there are other traps further in.

05.05.097

Austin : So what can you tell us about the dangers that lay within the cave?

05.05.098

Harvey : A tragic tale indeed. Were women turned into snowmen also?

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05.05.098

Charlie: Yes, and I'd also be very interested to hear about any creation myths, etc. that have been passed down as part of your cultural oral history an= d so forth!From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.75.205 with SMTP id z13cs53181faj; Fri, 3 Dec 2010 06:16:22 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.213.32.195 with SMTP id e3mr2502667ebd.78.1291385781471; Fri, 03 Dec 2010 06:16:21 -0800 (PST) Return-Path: <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id t51si4578100eeh.42.2010.12.03.06.16.20; Fri, 03 Dec 2010 06:16:20 -0800 (PST) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of djmalzie@googlemail.com) client-ip=193.1.100.137; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of djmalzie@googlemail.com) smtp.mail=djmalzie@googlemail.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@googlemail.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [193.1.97.39] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cf8fb720001>; Fri, 03 Dec 2010 14:15:14 +0000 Received: from Marshal4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id oB3EGJUt012388 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Fri, 3 Dec 2010 14:16:19 GMT Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [193.1.101.32] ) by Marshal4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cf8fb720000>; Fri, 03 Dec 2010 14:15:14 +0000 Received: from marshal5.ul.ie ( [193.1.100.135] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Fri, 3 Dec 2010 14:15:13 +0000 Received: from mail-wy0-f181.google.com (Not Verified [74.125.82.181] ) by marshal5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4cf8fb710000>; Fri, 03 Dec 2010 14:15:13 +0000 Received: by wyf22 with SMTP id 22so10207922wyf.26 for <conor.ryan@ul.ie>; Fri, 03 Dec 2010 06:16:18 -0800 (PST) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=googlemail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:mime-version:received:received:date:message-id :subject:from:to:cc:content-type; bh=aDG7VKMif+CAyjS3G3hT5LTkbYMp9ZaioZpI/V+4gzQ=; b=v+9WNs38AtTGEj6qxN0IYu2S8bVw1zb4Q2zWkcc9GwaGFJ0I5iBScWFBgFEvdcnDvI RT1SJkdKtnbN/qH1VNRTXdqx74fnCTUGRF26DOskP4/Nv3Re2k4OH42PCtNdaNU6oTKM yJ0GOJJVaS/5cE8UkQESkKIW323ctkZMsNSCIDomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=googlemail.com; s=gamma; h=mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc:content-type; b=bSiRVhx8RpT0qMqKFWNonqkCyvZxqULqRJ2CY9jcbXrM1rm0RlE3DmSiu825VyJZrK zsQcyiaUxykbnGgApzIdseetlyTzjlM5jv3OcMFXY0gqIne+wMr9xcijItxmzNq1Tt/j 2PZXT0TxVtqNKcNKBH9PY/uMOF3w7oIVdlxM8MIME-Version: 1.0 Received: by 10.216.2.141 with SMTP id 13mr580766wef.84.1291385778460; Fri, 03 Dec 2010 06:16:18 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.216.244.65 with HTTP; Fri, 3 Dec 2010 06:16:18 -0800 (PST) Date: Fri, 3 Dec 2010 14:16:18 +0000 Message-ID: <AANLkTimTj2vO0O3mJ2-hAzLkSQopEX2e5ZpRZgrcnp2E@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: "chinca.al@tbcam.com" <chinca.al@tbcam.com>, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 03 Dec 2010 14:15:14.0066 (UTC) FILETIME= [80CB1720:01CB92F4]

Austin : [Smirking] Perhaps we should let the good snowman respond to our torrent of questions before Charlie examines his reproductive system in the oral tradition.

05.05.099

Trosty: I think so. Most of them ran screaming from the cave. I don't know what became of them, although there was talk about trying to destroy the coffee trade.

05.05.100

Charlie: [To Trosty] Well, you have been most helpful, I must say! Would you by any chance like to accompany us?

05.05.101

Trosty: Sure! That would be great! I've always hoped that someone would take me back to their home!

05.05.102

Harvey : Home? Er, we're actually going into the caves, what!

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05.05.103

Trosty: Oh. [Head drops] Well, maybe if any of you are left alive and are still sane after the experience, you could bring me home?

Alice: What makes you think we're sane now?

Trosty: Given that you're dead set on going into the caves, frankly, I'm beginning to wonder.

05.05.104

Harvey : Indeed, you must be quite keen to step indoors and put your feet up infront of a nice, roaring fire. [Looks thoughtful] Hmm, or not!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.05.105

Trosty: Oh! So you want to kill me? After all I did for you? [Looks at the hot coffee in Alice's hand] Heeeelp!

[Exit TROSTY, running down the mountain, only to trip and fall. However, he keeps rolling down.]

05.05.106

Titus: Nice. Not. You keep commenting on my manners but at least I do not threaten people who have tried to help us. I was thinking of doing a dispel magic spell to restore him but no, you had to scare him. Good job Admiral! Not.

05.05.107

Alice: Who's Admiral Knott?

05.05.108

Titus: [smiling at Alice] Your future ex-husband. Ever thought about trying to be a wizard given your natural intellectual abilities?

05.05.109

Alice: Sure did, but I failed the medical. They said I wasn't a big enough asshole.

05.05.110

Clint: Forget the squabbling, just think! We're going into a cave that not one person in 300 has returned from alive... I *like* those odds!

05.05.110

Titus: I hear you. I flunked wizard school too. Could not learn magic. It is just imbued in me. But they said I had a ego big enough for it and powerful superiority complex too. I did rank first of my class in asshology, if you can believe. But I cannot still read a spell book.

05.05.110

Titus: [looks at the group] Not a bad group to go inside a cave of death and perish with. If I die first, Alice gets my gold to allow her keeping her wardrobe standards.

05.05.111

Alice: [Nods at Titus' words] Yes, I can believe that. Don't worry about not being able to read, it's not all it's cracked up to be. All those crazy squiggles and shapes? Who can be bothered to remember them all! [To Clint] Hey, this is how we prepare!

05.05.111

Clint: Haw! Well, let's get this over with. [Pulls out his sword and heads for the cave entrance.]

05.05.112

Alice: Let's find some traps!

[Exit ALL, into the caves.]


;;; End of scene. Next one coming on THURSDAY, as we're away for a while

05.06.001

[Book VII, Act V, Scene VI. The Cave. ALICE, AUSTIN, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR, HARVEY and TITUS are here, having just entered. It is wide enough for three abreast, is surprisingly warm and dry inside.]

Alice: [Lighting a torch] Right, who's up front?


;;; Change of plans, so the game is back on!

05.06.002

Clint: [Steps forward.] Do you even have to ask, Bimbo? [Ponders propelling Dur to the front but decides against it.]


;;; [Mr Burns] Eeeeexcellent. [/Mr Burns]

05.06.003

Charlie: I shall follow behind you, Mr. Scar, but do try and keep your bodily expulsions in check!

05.06.004

Austin : [Raises a suprise eyebrow at Charlie] Either very very brave, or very very stupid. Perhaps both.


;;;; well my bus crashed on the way to work, yes we still have tons of

snow, and will have to walk home because my going home bus crashed

this morning too, with several others, so I might leave early (After

my lecture apparently)

05.06.005

Alice: [Wisely] Or maybe neither. [Nods her head sagely] Hey! Wait a minute! That doesn't make any sense at all!

[The party move on, with ALICE, CLINT and HARVEY in the front, followed by AUSTIN and CHARLIE, with DUR and TITUS taking up the rear. The passage goes on a good hundred feet before opening into a large cave, that's about 50' X 50'. The floor is covered with polished black and white tiles, each a foot square. The roof, which is covered in thick vines, is about twenty feet up.]

Alice: Huh. Well, I guess this is one of those traps we heard about. [Holds up the note that Ferry gave the party, which reads: "Take God's path; take the devil's path, and hide beneath the shade of night to enter the shimmering wall."]


;;; All we have is freezing fog and ice, enough to cancel our trip. Gah!

05.06.006

Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

Charlie: We're to take both God's and the devil's path? How extraordinary! Or does it mean we must choose? Perhaps we should try to = keep to the white tiles and see how we fare?=20 --Apple-Mail-1--202009220

05.06.007

Alice: And what about the night thing? Where does that fit in?

05.06.008

Harvey : Perhaps it's a combination. God is white, the devil is black. So we should start on White, then Black and so on.

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05.06.009

Alice: Maybe, but won't someone please think of the night thing?

05.06.009

Titus: [Shaking his head] I do not want to blow up your bubble about fairy tales such as god, the devil, santa claus or the tooth fairy but how do you know god is white? I know culture where white is the symbol of death.

05.06.010

Alice: [Nods] He's right. Things are rarely black and white.

05.06.011

Charlie: Well, they are in this case, and we must decide the meaning of it all! [Looks up at the ceiling] Are we under the shade of night due to those vines? Or could the shade of night refer to the black tiles?

05.06.012

Alice: [Looks up at the vines] Are we sure that there's only one trap? Maybe there are a few of them?

05.06.013

Austin : [Carefully examines the tiles looking got traps] I think that it would be most prudent to expect many, many traps. [Inspects the vines] Perhaps we could climb round to the other side on these vines, or swing across, avoiding the floor all together.

05.06.014

Harvey : What concerns me is what is lurking behind and within those vines!

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05.06.014

Alice: The vines certainly look thick enough to hold us, but it is a long way across. [Reads the note again] Take God's path; take the devil's path, and hide beneath the shade of night to enter the shimmering wall. Hm, could any part of that mean the vines?

05.06.015

Alice: Don't be silly, Uncle H! There's nothing scary there. Look. [Shakes one of the vines, and suddenly starts screaming] Help! Help! Spider! [Calmes down] Oh, it's okay, it's just my fingers.

05.06.016

Harvey : Can anyone see any difference in the vines? Two varieties of vine,perhaps?

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05.06.017

[Although not all the vines are the same thickness, they do seem to all be of the same variety.]

05.06.018

Harvey : [Holds onto a thick vine] Perhaps one of us should climb up to seewhats behind these vines? There might be a clue above the canopy!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.06.019

Alice: Maybe, but they seem attached to the roof, so I don't know if you'll be able to see anything.

05.06.021

Dur: Not only that, I was never good at rope climbing in Gym!From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.75.205 with HTTP; Mon, 6 Dec 2010 07:37:58 -0800 (PST) Date: Mon, 6 Dec 2010 15:37:58 +0000 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: V0u0fehOenN6zjtVWmh4hcQO8hY Message-ID: <AANLkTi=jJuBNXpTboEbHCGkaK-aP1irQjOhzSRVK=jmR@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu>, "chinca.al@tbcam.com" <chinca.al@tbcam.com>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Alice: Huh, rope tying was always my favourite class, but I was always very late home after it. [Thinks for a moment] Did you say climbing or tying?

05.06.022

Titus: I am afraid that any of this physical stuff is not something I am good at. Rope climbing or rope tying is too hard for me.

05.06.023

Alice: It might be the only way across. Let's see, "God's path"? Could that be the vines?

05.06.023

Austin : Perhaps we should try to swing across, I am sure everyone can manage that [Tries to free or cut the lower end of one of the vines to swing across the room]

05.06.024

Titus: God's path equals the vines? Explain your logic Alice. You lost me. [Looks for a stone or twig and if finds two throws one on a white tile and one on a black tile]

05.06.025

Alice: Sure. God is really good, right? Then it follows that he likes nice things, like gold, and wine and shoes and well tailored cardigans and properly maintained hair, true? So, in the absence of any gold, wine, shoes, well tailored cardigans and properly maintained hair outside of those brought in by us, then it follows that we should look for something related to those. Given that all we can see are tiles and vines, and vines are often associated with grapes, from which one can make wine, then it seems pretty straightforward that we should use the vines.

[While ALICE is talking, TITUS throws a stone onto each of a black and a white tile. Nothing happens in either case.]

05.06.025

Charlie: Presumably, she means that the "high road," if you will, is the one in closer proximity to the heavens. Let us try the vines, then! [Attempts to climb up a vine in order to cross]

05.06.026

Harvey : But dearest niece, wine also leads many a person to perform the devils work, and to stagger down the the devils path!

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05.06.026

Alice: Uh, yeah, that too.

[While AUSTIN cuts a vine, only to discover that the roof isn't high enough to be able to swing across, CHARLIE climbs up onto the vines, and starts to make her way across. She gets about halfway without any trouble.]

Alice: Looks like she's gonna make it. I sure hope they don't break!

05.06.027

Alice: True, but what about all that proximity to heaven stuff I said? That sounded really good!

[CHARLIE makes it to the other side, and jumps down to the ground on the far side of the tiles.]

05.06.028

Harvey : Well done that girl! Who's next? I'll go last and make sure no ne'erdowells sneak up on us from behind!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.06.029

Clint: How we gonna get Titus and Dur across? I can help one of 'em, but I'm not carrying people across this thing!


;;; So meanwhile, here it's a very unseasonable 15 degrees, warming back up to

;;; normal winter weather by the end of the week.

05.06.030

Alice: [Climbing onto the vines] Maybe they can climb across?

05.06.031

Dur: [Looks dubiously at the vines] I suppose we could give it a shot. What's the worst that could happen?

05.06.032

[Just on cue, ALICE's flask falls out of her backpack and hits the tiles. Almost immediately a hail of arrows shoot across where it hit.]

05.06.032

Charlie: That's the spirit, Dur! There's a shiny copper in it for you if you can make it across.

05.06.033

Harvey : By the saints, careful dear niece!


;;; Which coloured tile did the flask land on?

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05.06.034

Clint: Maybe we can set off all the traps from here and then walk across!

05.06.035

Alice: [Landing on the other side] Oh, come on, Stinky! Surely you can climb across?

[The flask seemed to hit both a black and a white tile.]

05.06.036

Harvey : Come on now, private Scar, chop chop! Onwards and upwards across the vines, what!

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05.06.036

Clint: Ha! I bet you have to walk on all white tiles all the way across, then the next person has to walk on all black tiles, and then I don't have any idea what the night stuff means, but screw it.

05.06.037

Clint: Sure thing, Harv. [Starts up the vines.]

05.06.038

Harvey : That's the spirit, private! [Keeps an eye on the rear of the cave]

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05.06.039

[CLINT makes it across without any trouble, and, after a short while, everyone else has crossed over.]

Alice: So, I guess that was God's path, being up high and all.

05.06.040

Austin : [Shrugs] We may never know. The riddles may be meaningless nonsense disseminated to confuse and delay the progress of any would be visitors.

05.06.041

Charlie: Yes, and that went splendidly! I expect we are to have no trouble whatsoever negotiating these caves. Let us continue! [Heads toward the corridor]

05.06.042

Alice: [Nods at Charlie's words] God himself couldn't stop us from getting through now. [To Austin] You might be right, they certainly look like nonsense. I mean, what the hell is that word? [Points at the word "the"]

05.06.043

Harvey : Right troop, lets not get complacent, what! I'm sure many a traveller got this far and left their guard down. And suddenly, boom, snowmen!

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05.06.043

Austin : Indeed, just another made up word. Although [emphasises] the definite article can be fairly useful [Smirks at his own joke]

05.06.044

Alice: That's right Harvey, we could be just strolling along, minding our own business and then we'd feel the chilly twig of death!

[The party walk along a winding corridor in the same order as before for another two minutes, before coming to a large cavern, about 24' square, which also has tiles. These ones are all plain stone, and each has a character carved into them. They are each around 3' X 3', and, when standing on one, it would be possible to step onto any of its (up to) eight neighbours.]

Alice: Huh, what the hell does this mean?

05.06.045

Austin : Well there are two ways across, if we were to stick to one symbol, we could choose either.

05.06.046

Alice: Are we sure that we should stick to one symbol?

05.06.047

Charlie: I wonder if we could replicate the prophecy using these tiles?! [Takes out her notes on the prophecy and examines the tiles]

05.06.048

Harvey : Well, the last was God's path, perhaps this time we should be looking for the Devil's path.


;;; Conor - can you send me on the image - can't access the site. Thanks.

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.06.049

Alice: That's certainly what the clue Ferry gave us says, but what is the devil's path?

05.06.050

Austin : Well, one of these symbols must represent the devil. Charlie, which one is it. Did you write that down?

05.06.051

Alice: Here's the original one. [Shows the party the prophecy]

05.06.052

Harvey : [Scratching at a sideburn] Well troop, if we are to follow the devils path, then surely that means there is only one symbol we can follow the= entire way across the floor. [Points to the one on the far top right] Thatone, for example, seems to be the only one that goes from this side to the= other side, uninterrupted

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05.06.052

Austin : [Glances at the prophecy] Excellent, that is one of the two paths. Let us take it. We should follow the symbol that is like a 'T' but with three horizontal bars instead of one. That one [Points that the devil path symbol] Mr Titus, would you care to go first?

05.06.053

Alice: You are the most badly wounded of everyone, after all, Titus!

05.06.054

Charlie: I shall volunteer, given my smashing success in the last task! [Attempts to follow the devil symbol across]

05.06.054

Austin : Yes, well I thought that he might stop winging for a moment if we gave him some jobs to do. Just trying to include him in the party, make him feel useful et cetera.

05.06.055

Alice: Maybe we should start with something smaller, like fetching us coffee and things?

[CHARLIE boldly strides across the tiles, using the symbol identified as the devil's symbol. Soon she is at the other side, unscathed.]

05.06.056

Charlie: [Delighted] Marvelous! Come along, group--it's really quite simple, though do be careful. [Modestly] No doubt I made it look easier than it is!

05.06.057

Austin : [Deadpan] Indeed Charlie, you could be a champion walker. [To Alice] Perhaps you would like to get next?

05.06.058

Titus: [Ignores Austin and Alice barbs and follows in silence to the other side]

05.06.059

Austin : [Sighs in relief] Ahh, there we go, and without a single winge or gripe. Told you so.

05.06.060

Alice: He's like a breath of fresh air!

05.06.061

Harvey : It's the most pleasant I've found him! [Crosses over the floor]

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.06.062


;;; Kevin's out today

Dur: [Crossing over] I like the shape of his skull.

05.06.063

Austin : [Crosses over. TO Dur] That is an oddly relieving comment, comming from you Mr Dur.

05.06.064

Titus: [Light up a cigarette and blows the smoke in the air]

05.06.065

[Soon everyone is over safely, and the party resume their marching order. They come to yet another large cavern. This one is about 60' in diameter, and doesn't appear to have any exits. There is, however, a lot of foliage and bushes here. Everyone can hear the sound of water rushing, but it seems to be coming from everywhere.]

05.06.066

Clint: Hey, maybe we can just hack our way through?

05.06.067

Alice: I hate gardening! What if they are poisonous?

05.06.068

Charlie: Well, this must be where we are to "hide beneath the shade of night to enter the shimmering wall"! [Looks around at the foliage] I wonder--would there be any "deadly nightshade" growing here?!

05.06.069

[On closer inspection, the party can see that there are a variety of bushes here, all of which are poisonous. One of them is, indeed, Belladonna.]

Alice: [Peering at it from a safe distance] That seems to be one, but look, it's leaves are pretty spiky, [looks up and down] and it's huge! I don't think we'll be able to cut it down.

05.06.070

Charlie: Perhaps we should crawl under it, then? [Tries to see if she can crawl under the Belladonna]

05.06.071

Harvey : Good thinking that girl. Climb under the shade of night!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.06.072

Alice: Huh! It certainly sounds right.

[It is possible to climb in under it, although it looks like it will be virtually impossible to avoid getting some scratches from the very thick bark and leaves.]

05.06.073

Austin : [I think you have to ingest it for it to be toxic, does anyone know more?

05.06.074

Titus: Can we try to burn it?

05.06.075

Alice: I think you're right Aus, but normally it doesn't have crazy thorns like that. [To Titus] Not a bad idea, Tites, but we'd need a lot of oil, and this cavern doesn't exactly have a chimney in it!

05.06.076

Harvey : Indeed, dear niece. Who knows the danger of breathing in the poison! We could wrap ourselves in our blankets to minimise the chance of cuts a= nd scrapes.

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.06.076

Austin : And if we did burn it we would not be able to hide under it [ponders]

05.06.077

Charlie: Perhaps we could dig a hole underneath the bushes, to facilitate hiding and minimize contact with the thorns?

05.06.078

Dur: Tut Tut! This is why you bring a trained Doctor with you at all times!Come on group, I'll take care of any wounds we sustain! ... Well most of t= hem anyway.From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.75.205 with HTTP; Wed, 8 Dec 2010 06:27:38 -0800 (PST) Date: Wed, 8 Dec 2010 14:27:38 +0000 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: 8BWymmCT7afaD07FaGXblmoov_8 Message-ID: <AANLkTikEsXyktTiKsozrwXFnOyZo-GiuAPXZXmh9P8+x@mail.gmail.com> To: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com> Cc: dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, chinca.al@tbcam.com, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Alice: Good idea, Charlie, as long as those roots aren't poisonous, of course!

05.06.079

Lat from Kevin and me #78

Alice: Take care of in the sense of making them better? Or causing them?

05.06.080

Dur: [Looks thoughtful] Whichever you prefer of course! So long as my bill gets paid...=

05.06.081

Harvey : I'll try first, troop! [Bends down and begins to move through the roots]

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.06.082

Clint: I guess I'll go next... [Waits to see if Harvey drops dead or something.]

05.06.083

Austin : [Wraps himself well in a blanket and slithers under the bush] This all seem to be a little too easy.

05.06.084

Harvey : Only because we had those hints from the village, private Sleaze!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.06.085

[Soon everyone is through, although, despite their best efforts, everyone has received at least a few scratches.]

Alice: Thank goodness for them, too, otherwise we could have been in real trouble. [Does a double take on Austin] Hey, is it just me or does Austin look like he has an octopus head?

[Strangely enough, it does appear as though AUSTIN's head has turned into an octopus.]


;;; Dom is out for the morning

Austin: Don't be ridiculous, Alice.

05.06.086

Harvey : By the saints, private Sleaze! My dear niece is quite correct!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.06.086

Charlie: She's quite right, Mr. Sleaze! I'm afraid you have turned octopus. [Comfortingly] On the bright side, perhaps you will eventually sprout eight appendages to aid you in your obsessive grooming habits, etc.

05.06.087

Austin: Very helpful, Charlie, thanks. You do know, of course, that both you and Alice now have cat heads?

[Incredibly this is also true.]

Alice: [Touching her face] Liar! It doesn't feel any different to me, Octo-head!

05.06.088

Charlie: [Looks at Alice and coos] Oh, how adorable! [Attempts to pet Alice's cat head]

05.06.089

Alice: [Leans back] Hey! Hands off! [Looks around at the others] What the hell is going on? You're all turning into animals [Points to each of the party in turn, starting with Harvey] A donkey, [Titus] a snake, [Clint] a monkey, [Dur] some sort of disgusting slug. Well, okay, you haven't changed much, but the others have!

05.06.090

Harvey : [Touches his head] What in the blue blazes is going on here? Skullduggery, heehaw!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.06.091

Austin : [Checking that his head is still normal, gets out his pocket mirror] Perhaps the poison in the scratches that we have received from this bush are hallucinogenic? Or maybe we are dying, and this is a sign of our brains melting under the toxins. [Looks verry worried. Then brightens up] But I feel fine. Everyone else okay?


;;;[sigh] go to a meeting and when I return I have an octopus head.

Can't leave you alone for a second!

05.06.092

Charlie: [Unreasonably excited] Ooooh, what sort of cat am I?! This could made a fascinating study for the next Science and Stuff conference!

05.06.093

Alice: [Now sweating profusely] I feel really, really, really great! Although, I'm a bit thirsty, and I think I need to fart, but can't be bothered making the effort. [To Charlie] An orange one.


;;; Alain is out today

Titus: I'm starting to feel very dizzy. [Looks around] Look! There's a waterfall.

[He's right, and this is clearly the source of the water sounds from before, as the party are now through the bush. Everyone is starting to feel a little weird now, with lights seeming a bit too bright, and finding it difficult to focus.]

05.06.094

feel >a little weird now, with lights seeming a bit too bright, and findingit difficult to focus.]

Dur: But how do we know it is real if we really are hallucinating from poison?

05.06.095

Alice: There's only one way to find out, Dur. We build a machine that can drive over there, scoop up some of the water, then drive back across the ceiling so the water falls down onto us. Then, if we get wet, we know that either we got wet or Clint gobbed up some spit. [Looks confused] What was the question again?

05.06.096

Harvey : Hold on, but who's going to guard the floor when we're on the ceiling! What if it's stolen dear niece! What then, eh? What then!

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05.06.097

Alice: We're going to be on the ceiling, so why should we care about the door?

05.06.098

Harvey : Even if it's the Shivering door, the one we are supposed to break on through?

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05.06.099

Titus: [Crawling across the floor] I'll go, even if it's just to get away from this conversation. [Sticks his head through the waterfall, before turning back to the party, hair soaking wet] Nope, it doesn't seem to be real. Although my hair is kind of wet.

05.06.099

Austin : Well, since I am an octopus I'll will be just fine in the water. But I am not so sure about orange cats, or slugs [Walks and swims into the waterfall if he can]

05.06.100

[AUSTIN walks across the ground unsteadily, and steps into the waterfall, which pours down into the rock, so he doesn't have to swim, and disappears through it.]

Alice: Woah! That was cool!

05.06.101

Harvey : [In a loud whisper to Alice] Let's wait for him [gestures towards Titus] to go through, then we can all turn around and go back home, what!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.06.102

Charlie: [Watching Austin] How splendid! [Starts to follow Austin's lead but hesitates] Though I shouldn't like to muss my lovely fur!

05.06.103

Titus: [To Harvey] Typical! Taking the coward's way out! [Crawls through the water]

Alice: Aw, don't worry about it Charlie, it's fairly unattractive.

05.06.104

Charlie: [To Alice] Whew, what a relief! [Enters the water]

05.06.105

[Enter ALL, into the waterfall.]


;;; End of scene, next one coming right up

05.07.001

[Book VII, Act V, Scene VII. The Train Tracks. ALICE, AUSTIN, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR, HARVEY and TITUS are here, slowly regaining consciousness. They are outside a huge walled monastery, lying on what appear to be train tracks.]

Train: [Approaching fairly quickly] Choo choo!

05.07.002

Charlie: [Pushes herself up off the tracks] Wake up, group! Move!

05.07.003

Alice: [Stirring] Huh? What the hell? [Leaps up] Let's get the others up!

05.07.004

Austin : I had the oddest dream, I dreamt that I had an octopus head and that I was lying on a railway track in front of an oncoming train. AAArrgh! [Gets up swiftly, leaping off the tracks]


;;; do we still have creature heads?

05.07.005


;;; No!

Alice: [Grabs Harvey's foot] Come on! Help me!

05.07.006

Austin : [Grabs Harvey's other foot and helps pull the colonel off the tracks] I think that we should help the colonel first!

05.07.007

Titus: [Gets up and jump of the tracks] Smack him hard on the face. That should wake up Military Man.

05.07.008

Alice: Just for that, Titus, you have to pull Dur off! [Realises that she and Austin are at either side of the tracks] Good grief, Austin! That train is going hit him right in the --

[ALICE is drowned out by the sudden screeching of brakes, as the train starts to slow down. Although there is enough time for she and AUSTIN to get HARVEY away, they wait for dramatic effect, and the train stops about a centimeter from HARVEY's crotch.]

Alice: [To Austin] That was cool! Like a Pames Jond movie!

05.07.009

Titus: [Moves away from the tracks] I am not touching Dur. I do not know the purify spell.

05.07.010

Alice: Just use a stick, like anyone else would! [Looks at the train] Is it just me? Or is that a really small train?

[The train is about a third of the size of a normal train.]

05.07.011

Charlie: Perhaps it is merely very far away? [Goes to touch the side of the train]

05.07.012

[The train is close and small. Suddenly, a man dressed in white robes leaps out, this is BANTAM ALPHA.]

Bantam: [Adopting a karate pose] Hah!

05.07.013

Dur: [Finally waking up] Don't laugh at me!

05.07.014

[Enter PICAYUNE BETA and DIMUNITY GAMMA, two similarly small men also wearing white robes, also leaping out from the train.]

Bantam: Prepare to die!


;;; Colin is out today

Harvey: [Waves up with a start] By the saints! [Looks at the train] By the saints! [Looks at the small karate men] By the saints!

05.07.015

Austin : [Shocked] Why on earth would you want to kill us? We are terribly nice people really. [Looks at Dur and Titus] Well, most of us are at any rate.

05.07.016

Titus: [Shakes his head] Don't listen to him. He is a liar and a coward. Truth is we have no idea where we are, how we got here and what we are supposed to do. We are the Clueless Wonders!

05.07.017

Alice: I thought we were at the Monastery at Ixi?

Bantam: Gasp! [To Titus] You are a liar! No one has vouched for you, you shall all die!

05.07.018

Titus: [To Bantam] News for you Karate Man! We are ALL going to die ultimately. The question is just when.

05.07.019

Bantam: For you, it is now!

[Everyone's attention is drawn to a fully grown man who clearly was sitting on top of the train. This is ADAM DAWSON.]

Adam: [Leaning back against the train] I can vouch for them.

05.07.020

Clint: [Shakes himself and comes to.] And a good thing for these little tykes it is, too!

05.07.021

Adam: Indeed. It would have been a shame for them to have blood spattered all over their uniforms.

05.07.022

Charlie: [To Adam] Thank you for your well-timed appearance! [In a low voice, to Adam] But how can you possibly vouch for us? We've never met! Indeed, we may be a pack of thieving murderers for all you know! [Adds brightly] But, of course, we are not! [Glances the party over nervously and adds] Well, perhaps that isn't entirely truthful, but honestly who hasn't gotten into a BIT of mischief in one's quest to save the world from total annihilation, etc?

05.07.023

Austin : One has to remain philosophical about such matters, as and when they arise.

05.07.024

Adam: I may have never met you, but I know all about you and your [with some amusement] mischief.

05.07.025

Harvey : How's that? Were you visited by an angel also?

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05.07.026

Adam: Actually, I read some graffiti about you on a bathroom wall.

05.07.026

Charlie: [Excited] Or are you an angel yourself?!

05.07.027

Adam: Sure!

05.07.028

Harvey : [Points to the priests] Are these wee men also blissed?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.07.029

Adam: They're more surly than blissed.

05.07.030

Charlie: Marvelous! Do tell us all about being an angel, won't you?

05.07.031

Adam: It's not so great. Lots of harp playing and hanging around in clouds. I'd give it an eight.

05.07.032

Harvey : Do you reside in the monastery also?


;;; Sorry email has been down all day

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.07.033

Adam: Nah, I'm way too evil.

05.07.034

Clint: You're just the man we've been looking for, then!

05.07.035

Harvey : [To Adam] So, what are you doing with the little chaps, then?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.07.036

Austin : I am not sure that I want to know the answer to that.

05.07.037

Adam: [Takes his hands out of his pockets] Sorry, they were a little itchy. Why don't we all hop aboard the 11.20 Express? [Gestures to the train] I'll tell you about it on the way. If you're really lucky, you can toot the horn.

05.07.038

Charlie: Marvelous, something to occupy Dur and Alice the entire way! [To the party] Come along, group!

05.07.039

Adam: Dur? Oh, he can toot the train's horn.

[Everyone sits up on top of a carriage, with ADAM at the front. He turns to talk to the party.]

Adam: So, this is what the new breed of Knight looks like? [Looks the party up and down] Interesting.

05.07.040

Austin : [Curious] New? I thought we were practically veterans at this, in mind and spirit of course. Have you encountered many knights before?

05.07.041

Adam: Nah, you're just whippersnappers compared to some of us. And yes, I've met enough Knights to know to do my best to avoid them if at all possible. In general, they're very, very annoying. Present company excepted, of course. So-

[ADAM's words are drowned out by ALICE's constant and irritating tooting of the train whistle.]

Adam: ... very important that ...

[More tooting.]

Adam: .. or you'd be killed.

[More tooting, which is interrupted by a man looking out from the train engine. This is GIM ATTI, who's a normal sized man, who is somehow crammed into the engine.]

Gim: Hey! You want to stop doing that? That whistle is really close to my head.

[ALICE gives two toots on the whistle.]

Gim: Ow! What the hell is wrong with you?

Alice: Sorry! I was just giving you a toot-toot to tell you I understood.

Gim: Really?

Alice: [Pulls the whistle] Toot-toot! [To the party] This is fun!

05.07.042

Harvey : [Shouting over the tooting, to Adam] I'm sorry, could you repeat that?

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05.07.043

Adam: So very important that, or you'd be killed.

[The train starts moving towards the monastery, picking up speed and moving surprisingingly quickly]

05.07.044

Charlie: [Hands Adams a notebook and pencil] Perhaps best to write it down?!

05.07.045

Adam: No problem. [Writes down "So very important that, or you'd be killed."]

05.07.046

Austin : [Frowns] But what is very important? We don't want to be killed!

05.07.047

Dur: Yeah! Austin's already gone through it once!

05.07.048

Adam: [To Austin] That you don't go into the virgin room.

Alice: If we're not virgins?

Adam: Especially if you're not virgins!

05.07.048

Austin : Thrice! [Ponders] Or is it more, there was that time in Hell, then the last time that I died, when I killed Philli, briefly, then hmm, well things get a little fuzzy when you die alot.

05.07.049

Austin : [Sniggers] Is the room itself virginal, or is it simply a room full of virgins?

05.07.050

Adam: It's almost full of virgins.

05.07.051

Charlie: Why on earth are they dangerous? Really irritable, perhaps?

05.07.052

Adam: They're not dangerous, but they're easily tempted, and particularly attracted to rugged adventuring types. It would be awful if you were expelled before you got to ask your question.


;;; What question? The party are here to get help with the translation

05.07.053

Charlie: [Scoffs] I shouldn't think that would be a problem, as I am hardly rugged! And what do you mean? We are not here to ask a question, rather to get help with a translation!

05.07.053

Austin : [To Charlie] Did you get that, questions first, virgins later.

05.07.054

Adam: Then maybe your question should be "Who should I ask for help with a translation?"?

[The gates open, revealing a complex of four or five buildings, each of which is served by one or more sets of tracks.]

05.07.055

Harvey : Is there somewhere we can get something to eat? Train journeys always make me famished!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.07.056

Gim: [Still squashed into the engine] There are some stale sandwiches and overprices crisps in the dining car, which you're sitting on.

05.07.057

Clint: Shouldn't our question be what the translation is, not how we can figure out what the translation is? [Shrugs.] Or does this count as our question?

05.07.058

Harvey : Or did your second question about whether it counts as our question, count as our question, private Scar?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.07.059

Adam: That depends on who you ask the question of. I'm only here to advise you.

Alice: Like a spunky but ultimately useless sidekick?

Adam: Sure, you can be my sidekick.

Alice: No! I meant are you like our spunky but ultimately useless sidekick.

Adam: I prefer to think of myself as a slightly seedy, lecherous mentor type.

05.07.060

Charlie: [To Adam] What other advice can you offer?

05.07.061

Adam: Stay on your guard, you're probably not the only people who want that translation. Oh, and try not to say anything about the translator's eyes.

05.07.062

Charlie: [Excited] Why, what is unusual about her eyes?!

05.07.063

Dur: Telling me not to do it makes me WANT to do it even more!

05.07.064

Adam: She doesn't have any. [To Dur] Don't jump off the train.

05.07.065

Harvey : Why, what happens if someone jumps off the train?

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05.07.065

Austin : [To Dur] Yes, please don't.


;;;; sorry busy day

05.07.066

Austin : [Blinks in disbelief, looks at Harvey, then back to Adam] The stage is yours.

05.07.067

Clint: And what would happen if we commented on the one translator not having any eyes?

05.07.068

Austin : With you around mR Scar, it is a pitty that she has no nose.

05.07.069

Charlie: [To Austin] Or no ears, so she would not be forced to hear your cruel comments!

05.07.070

Austin : I suppose some people do not need eyes to see, just as some people have eyes but see nothing. [Sighs]

05.07.071

Dur: Sounds like a serious medical condition. Perhaps I should do some studying on a cure...

05.07.072

Harvey : A cure for no eyes? That would indeed be a cure to bring a tear ofjoy to the eye, what!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.07.073

Austin : [To Adam] So how can she read if she has no eyes?

05.07.074

Adam: There's a lot of guesswork involved.

Alice: Is it Marasmus?

Adam: It is.


;;; The party have encountered her many times, particularly way back

in the past.

;;; She had her eyes plucked out by Pestilence in Book 3, Act 4.

05.07.075

Charlie: [Uneasily] Er, yes, the Council has a file on her. [To the party, overly casual] Let's not mention our rather tenuous and temporary past allegiance with you-know-who, shall we? Wouldn't want to rub salt in old wounds and so forth!

05.07.076

Adam: You mean your rather seedy but strangely alluring relationship with Pestilence?

05.07.077

Austin : Yes, I believe she means that it may be wise not to mention the fact that she is bonking the guy who pulled Marasmus's eyes out. [Looks grimly at Charlie] Even though I am quite sure that she is doing it for the greater good.

05.07.078

Adam: It's okay, we've tried to keep it quiet.

[Just as the train looks like it's about to hit the door into one of the buildings, it swings open, and GIM and be seen frantically pulling at a brake. Standing off to one side is a large, stern looking man, who flips a points switch, so the train changes rail to a dead end right in front of him. This is TOPHAM HATTINGTON. He is holding a bowl of ice cubes, one of which he takes a drops down inside the back of his shirt.]

Topham: [Gives a big shiver] Ooooooh! So, you're the ones having sex with Pestilence?

05.07.079

Harvey: I say, most certainly not, what!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.07.080

Topham: Well then. In that case, you better turn your train around and get the hell out of here!

05.07.081

Charlie: [To Topham, carefully] Why are you so eager to meet those who may or may not be involved in a physical and entirely fleeting sense with Pestilence?

05.07.081

Austin : [To Topham] It is only Charlie that is engaging in sexual intercourse with Pestillence, and it is only for the greater good, of course, is that not correct Charlie?

05.07.082

Topham: Oh really? [To Charlie] Because only the real Queens View Party would be reckless and foolhardy enough to seek the help of someone who was blinded by one of their allies.

Alice: We've done way stupider things!

05.07.083

Harvey : My niece of course, is quite right. This is quite a sane act compared to some of our previous exploits!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.07.084

Alice: Clint once put a piece of cow-dung the size of his fist into his mouth!

05.07.085

Charlie: [To Topham] Right, well, we should very much like to speak to someone about a translation, so we will be on our way! [Tries to get past Topham]

05.07.086

Topham: [Shifts to the side to block her] You'll get to see her when I say you can. [Pause one second] You can see her now. [Gestures to two double doors behind him]

05.07.087

Titus: [Nods at Topham in silence. He feels like a stranger in a strange world]

05.07.088

Topham: [Glares at Titus] What?

05.07.089

Titus: [Looks away] Nothing.

05.07.090

Dur: [Looks from Topham to Titus] Awwwwwwwkwaaaarrddddd!

05.07.091

Topham: Is he sleeping with Pestilence too?

05.07.092

Harvey : Only he can answer that!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.07.093

Dur: I'd rather not say!

05.07.094

Alice: We'd all prefer you not say. [Clearly struggles with something for a moment] Really? Are you? Wow!

05.07.095

Titus: Sorry to disappoint you I only do women! No interest in dudes!

05.07.096

Alice: Hey! I AM a woman!

05.07.096

Titus: [Looks at Alice from her to toes] Really? Wow! Never expected it! [[Looks at Harvey] Admiral, who is Pestilence other than Charlotte's lover and Marasmus' eye puller?

05.07.097

Charlie: [To Titus] First, it has never been proven that any member of this party has engaged in carnal relations with Pestilence. Rumors and hearsay scarcely count as evidence, am I correct, Mr. Sleaze? [Not pausing for Austin to answer] Good! Second, Pestilence is a rather complex figure. True, he has generally shown himself to be a psychopathic murderer. And yet at times he has [hesitates] er, committed horrific crimes to serve the greater good, in a sense aligning with us against shared enemies and such. [Brightly] So he isn't ALL bad, really!

05.07.098

Alice: If you don't count the half dozen party members he's killed over the years, several of whom were burnt to death, nor the times he tried to kill us, or that time he tried to cut a fetus out of me. Oh, and he didn't pull her eyes out, he pushed them in. [Thinks] You know, when I hear it like that, it doesn't make him sound all that good, but we think he was an angel who turned evil and is now trying to be good again.

05.07.098

Titus: {Looking unconvinced at Charlotte] So he is major bad news, psychotic evil kind. OK. So did you bang him, yes or no? And was it as good as you though?

05.07.098

Titus: [To Alice looking shocked beyond belief] OF all the things, you said I cannot believe .... [Pauses] You, ..... a mom? I need a drink. [He lights up a smoke]

05.07.099

Alice: First of all, that's not a drink, it's a smoke, and sure, I may have starved the occasional rabbit to death, and yes, I have been known to inadvertently let my goldfish escape, and granted, Daddy told me that the only time he'd ever let me in charge of another pet was in the event of him wanting it killed in a painful fashion, but that doesn't mean that I would be a great mother. I'd have the best nannies money could buy. And no, I don't have any children, despite what Pestilence was trying to do. At least, none that I know about!

05.07.100

Titus: [Offering a smoke to Alice] So if you do not have any children, what happened to your fetus? And who was the father? [Looks at Alice is he doubts she knows the answer]

05.07.101

Alice: [Takes the smoke and shrugs] Idunno. It turned out it wasn't a fetus after all, which was a big relief.

05.07.102

Titus: [Lights up Alice's smoke] So if it was a foetus, what was it?

05.07.103

Alice: Some sort of soul sanctuary, although, in my defence, it was planted in there during an orgy, so it's a reasonable mistake to have made!

05.07.104

Austin : [Checks his finger nails briefly. Nods] Perfectly reasonable. [Sighs] Unlike Pestillence who destroyed Masrasmus's eyes and murdered Lucy.

05.07.105

Charlie: [Defensively] Maybe that wasn't him! According to my files, that was never proven!

05.07.106

Alice: Although, he was found beside the body making smart ass remarks! [To Titus] Lucy was engaged to Austin, and was killed by Jerome on their wedding day. A few years later -- just a few months ago, in fact -- she was resurrected by someone unknown, but, before we got to speak to her, she was killed again, in almost the exact same way, right down to the fact that she was wearing a wedding dress.


;;; Charlie is right. Lucy was found dead, but Pestilence claimed in a

;;; roundabout way that he didn't do it and that she "wasn't innocent".

;;; The way she was killed was exactly the same way Jerome killed

;;; her the first time around.

05.07.106

Austin : [To Charlie] Not true, he himself admitted that he was responsible for her death, and we caught him as he was killing her, drenched in her blood.

05.07.107

Alice: I don't know, Aus, it did look pretty bleak for him, but we didn't actually see him do it. And I don't think he admitted it, although he probably enjoyed making you think he did. He is very evil, after all. [To Charlie] No offence.

05.07.108

Titus: If he is so evil, why didn't you take him down? [To Charlie] So evil turns you on?

05.07.108

Austin : [Flips open his note book] I shall quote Pestillence: "Fair enough. I mean, I am the one responsible for this, after all." [Sighs] Fairly conclusive I believe.

05.07.109

Harvey : Indeed, it does sound like Pestilence admitted to the foul deed, what!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.07.110

Alice: [Disappointed] And he seemed like such a nice evil demon too.

05.07.110

Austin : Well, he freely admitted responsibility, so even if he himself did not stab Lucy to death, he is still guilty of murder. [To the Party] The last thing that Lucy asked me to do was to stop Clementine. [Sighs] Lucy had obviously found out what was going on, and that is probably why she was murdered.

05.07.111

Charlie: [Hopefully] Maybe he lied about it! He is dreadfully deceitful, after all, and it would be such a feather in his cap to have committed the murder. [Ponders] Though that actually isn't a very nice possibility either, come to think of it. [Looks crestfallen]

05.07.112

Alice: Oh no, Titus, it's not that bad at all. She's banging the guy who killed her after she had been killed on their wedding day. She was killed by Jerome, who everyone thought had made me pregnant. Hm, that doesn't sound great either. The point is, we're together to save the world, and it's not like any of us committed the murder, nor is it the case that Aussie and Pesty are best buds. [To Austin] You're not sleeping with him too, or anything, are you?

05.07.113

Titus: [Shaking his head in disbelief] Sorry if I seems a little dense but let me test my understanding: Jerome banged Alice during an orgy (Way to go girl!) and killed Austin's fiancee on their wedding day. Later, Lucy comes back and get killed by Pestilence who is banging Charlie. [He suddenly stops and shakes his head again] Wait, are you saying that Austin does men too? [His jaws drop as an incredulous look appears on his face]

05.07.114

Austin : [To Alice] That is, at best, deeply offensive. [Looks seriously pissed off]

05.07.115

Alice: Sorry, Aus, I didn't know it was a secret.


;;; Hey! He did admit to being bi years ago!!

05.07.116

Austin : [Really anoyed] I was not talking about my sexulality! I was refering to the deeply offensive suggestion that I may have had carnal relations with the fiend that murdered my fiancee!

05.07.117

Titus: [To Austin] Glad I know. I have no problem with who you like to bang as long as you are open about it. My issue with you is why don't you take revenge on the man that killed your girl a second time? And why do you associate with his lover?

05.07.118

Austin : [To Titus] Firstly Pestillence is exceptionally powerful, and he would likely as not simply torture me for his personal amusement, should I try to harm him. Secondly, I am not in command of the party, the conlonel is, and it is he that decided that Charlie should be allowed to work with us. Lastly, Charlie has not been the cause of any harm that I have endured, why should I bear a grudge against her? Alice and Trindle had a thing for each other at one time, and Trindle murdered Lucy, the first time round at least. I bear no grudge against Alice [Looks throughly fed up with the whole mess]

05.07.120

Charlie: [Looks relieved] Right, now that that's settled, let us go and see Marasmus about the translation!

05.07.121

Topham: [To Adam] They certainly bicker and argue a lot.

Adam: That's how you know they're the right people for the job.

[TOPHAM opens the door, revealing a large and nicely furnished room. Sitting at a desk, wearing dark glasses, is MARASMUS. She looks up when the door opens.]

Marasmus: [Gives a warm smile] Ah! They're here. I thought that they might have spent more time arguing between themselves.

05.07.122

Austin : [Cheers up] Marasmus! Good to see you alice and well!

05.07.123

Dur: And alive!From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.96.204 with SMTP id i12cs83927fan; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 06:57:03 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.204.85.26 with SMTP id m26mr3531832bkl.137.1292857023014; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 06:57:03 -0800 (PST) Return-Path: <chinca.al@tbcam.com> Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id u9si5901466wes.41.2010.12.20.06.57.02; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 06:57:02 -0800 (PST) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of chinca.al@tbcam.com) client-ip=193.1.100.137; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of chinca.al@tbcam.com) smtp.mail=chinca.al@tbcam.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [193.1.97.39] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4d0f6e830001>; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 14:56:03 +0000 Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id oBKEv2je019587 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 14:57:02 GMT Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [193.1.101.32] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4d0f6e830000>; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 14:56:03 +0000 Received: from marshal5.ul.ie ( [193.1.100.135] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Mon, 20 Dec 2010 14:56:03 +0000 Received: from mail202.messagelabs.com (Not Verified [216.82.254.227] ) by marshal5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4d0f6e820001>; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 14:56:02 +0000 X-VirusChecked: Checked X-Env-Sender: chinca.al@tbcam.com X-Msg-Ref: server-12.tower-202.messagelabs.com!1292856982!79997821!36 X-StarScan-Version: 6.2.9; banners=-,-,- X-Originating-IP: [160.254.180.13] Received: (qmail 1706 invoked from network); 20 Dec 2010 14:57:00 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO wtpcpapgtw19.bnymellon.com) (160.254.180.13) by server-12.tower-202.messagelabs.com with DHE-RSA-AES256-SHA encrypted SMTP; 20 Dec 2010 14:57:00 -0000 X-Processed-DLP: gateway X-AuditID: a0fe03ac-b7b11ae000002483-20-4d0f8a05ec4e Received: from WTPCLDMGTW12.bnymellon.net (Unknown_Domain [160.254.193.35] ) by wtpcpapgtw19.bnymellon.com (Symantec Maill Gateway) with SMTP id 5A.44.09347.50A8F0D4; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 11:53:25 -0500 (EST) In-Reply-To: <AANLkTimOaQOoqPSzLZ6t9e6qFk1UbXdLUJRMtMypxf+e@mail.gmail.com> References: <AANLkTimOaQOoqPSzLZ6t9e6qFk1UbXdLUJRMtMypxf+e@mail.gmail.com> To: dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com> Cc: Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu> MIME-Version: 1.0 X-KeepSent: 8AA4C9C6:CC04145A-852577FF:005206B4; type=4; name=$KeepSent X-Mailer: Lotus Notes Release 8.5.1 FP1 January 06, 2010 Message-ID: <OF8AA4C9C6.CC04145A-ON852577FF.005206B4-852577FF.00521EED@bnymellon.com> Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2010 09:56:57 -0500 X-MIMETrack: Serialize by Router on TPCGTW12P/GW/US/BNYMellon(Release 8.5.1|September 28, 2009) at 12/20/2010 09:57:32 AM, Serialize complete at 12/20/2010 09:57:32 AM Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII" X-CFilter-Loop: Reflected X-Brightmail-Tracker: AAAAAAX-OriginalArrivalTime: 20 Dec 2010 14:56:03.0564 (UTC) FILETIME= [05D492C0:01CBA056]

Titus: [Not knowing Marasmus, Titus nods his head to the woman] Madam!

05.07.124

Marasmus: It's wonderful to see you again. Of course, there are some here I haven't met yet. Dur, Charlie and Titus, it is a pleasure to meet you, I knew that you and the others would find your way here.

05.07.125

Titus: [To Marasmus] Madam, I do not mean to be rude but how do you know our name if we never met you?

05.07.126

Marasmus: An angel told me. [Gives a big smile] Yeah, yeah, I know, you probably think that makes me crazy, but I know all about you, Titus, and the others too, of course. You're in good company, and you will find the peace that you need so much, even if you don't yet realise you need it or what form it will take.

05.07.127

Charlie: [To Marasmus, hesitantly] Er, thank you. [Vaguely] Someone told us you might be able to offer help in translating a rather difficult language?

05.07.127

Titus: {Respectfully] No offense Madam, but I do not believe in fairy tales. This company is as good as any I have been associated with in term of entertainment value. I have given up on peace a long time ago. I have enough personal demons and nightmares to haunt me through 20 resurrections .....

05.07.128

Marasmus: Then it will be all the better when it comes, Titus, but the more you resist peace, the harder it will be to find. [Looks to Charlie] Certainly! [Conversationally] Who sent you?

05.07.129

Charlie: [With extremely unconvincing forced cheeriness] Exactly! Would you like to see the document? [Not pausing to hear her answer] Marvelous! [Begins determinedly digging through her knapsack for the prophecy, avoiding eye contact with Marasmus]

05.07.130

Marasmus: I'd love to, but unfortunately, I don't have any eyes. So, who sent you?

05.07.131

Dur: [Fidgeting uncomfortably] Ummmm... God?From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.96.204 with SMTP id i12cs86568fan; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 07:54:46 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.213.29.200 with SMTP id r8mr3888283ebc.75.1292860486507; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 07:54:46 -0800 (PST) Return-Path: <heather.goggans@gmail.com> Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id k50si10318095eei.97.2010.12.20.07.54.45; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 07:54:45 -0800 (PST) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of heather.goggans@gmail.com) client-ip=193.1.100.137; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of heather.goggans@gmail.com) smtp.mail=heather.goggans@gmail.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@gmail.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [193.1.97.39] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4d0f7c0a0001>; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 15:53:46 +0000 Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id oBKFsivG019739 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 15:54:44 GMT Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [193.1.101.32] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4d0f7c0a0000>; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 15:53:46 +0000 Received: from marshal5.ul.ie ( [193.1.100.135] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Mon, 20 Dec 2010 15:53:45 +0000 Received: from mail-ww0-f45.google.com (Not Verified [74.125.82.45] ) by marshal5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,3,9481) id <B4d0f7c090000>; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 15:53:45 +0000 Received: by wwb29 with SMTP id 29so3218239wwb.14 for <conor.ryan@ul.ie>; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 07:54:43 -0800 (PST) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:mime-version:received:received:date:message-id :subject:from:to:cc:content-type; bh=lS00vg+5f/0gbgySveIAkSVyvwKn4wPzeOwln493POA=; b=ZC2Nd3BUS0K5ySSyE6HsVD3NULLpdkTItCi5zTg5GbJvXpj8XEkebrC5FetJjq3HwL iv9NCu80A32QbqdTXWJLYoTO4WvqP7+2uRMBG07+7rE1RWzQNWdUH9yEisuwFilyhDkE l5k3NrhNfpB8KDxzfuUcJmjQIhxkx6qeI3j5oDomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=mime-version:date:message-id:subject:from:to:cc:content-type; b=raRes6jU6KxxS7wZcFBPqNvlZtGoNA5p42uQFDiR9Yu/4XEn+jDxjCwGT+Hovi4kC0 uqfh2b4tPLSz2qKJHQPF2o6qjKgFp07yOeE1LZY2yR8XhyoRb7o8HIZwtCgn1yvsxDw5 tK2xKdauiOBEdkmlys/ffMH2SNXN2GcyMdOdQMIME-Version: 1.0 Received: by 10.216.13.194 with SMTP id b44mr4790341web.68.1292860483667; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 07:54:43 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.216.6.201 with HTTP; Mon, 20 Dec 2010 07:54:43 -0800 (PST) Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2010 15:54:43 +0000 Message-ID: <AANLkTi=9dgtsjJoc+MJ8uyU030L7Y9UfOZJC6X+FsOEC@mail.gmail.com> To: Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie> Cc: chinca.al@tbcam.com, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 20 Dec 2010 15:53:46.0124 (UTC) FILETIME= [15AD4CC0:01CBA05E]

Charlie: [Keeping up the forced cheeriness] Wonderful! Perhaps I could describe the characters to you?

05.07.132

Marasmus: That's okay, Charlie, Topham will do that for me. [Looks at Dur] Really? I thought it was Pestilence.


;;; It was a combination of Pestilence and Darius that sent the party here.

05.07.132

Titus: [Shakes his head] Fairy tales again! I was lost, they were lost, we hooked up in a town full of resuscitated dead, went into a cave and ended up here. I am clueless about who, what and where and I think the rest of the group is. So it is easier to use a fairy tale to explain instead of telling the truth. [Stops, pulls out a flask from his backpack and takes a sip, before putting it back. Lights up another smoke]

05.07.133

Titus: [Looks at Charlotte] Oh really! I feel really good about it! Evil Boyfriend sent us! Great! Boy, do I need a drink [Takes another sip]

05.07.134

Charlie: [To Marasmus] Yes, technically, Pestilence did play a small, quite nearly negligible role in suggesting we seek your help. Given your past [delicately] experiences with him, we thought it best not to dwell on that aspect of the situation. [Weakly] I do hope you will still help us? We should be ever so grateful!

05.07.135

Marasmus: [Smiles broadly] That's okay, Charlie, I don't harbour any ill feelings towards Pestilence. You of all people know that it was his past that turned him into the demon that blinded me. I'd be more than happy to help. Why don't you leave the prophecy with Topham? You can take a look around the monastery. Anywhere, that is, of course, except the Virgin Room.

05.07.135

Titus: [To Marasmus] With all respect Madam, why should we stay away from the Virgin room? Are you afraid that the non-virgin among us will desecrate it or are you worried that some of the virgins in that room might become unqualified after meeting some of us? [Looks at Alice as he takes a puff of smoke]

05.07.136

Marasmus: It's a bit of both, really.

05.07.137

Titus: That is mighty tempting but don't worry about me. Ask the group. I have such a pleasant personality that I repulse even the unrepulsable. I could not make a virgin lose her vow even if I spent eternity. Anyway, anyplace I can get healed? [continues to smoke and takes another sip]

05.07.138

Harvey : [Bows deeply to Marasmus] Dear girl, it does this old soldiers heart good, to see you again! We of course, will not wander anywhere near the = virgin room!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.07.139

Austin : [Sighs] I suspect a certain inevitability with respect to our wanderings in the near future.

05.07.140

Marasmus: It is wonderful to meet you too, Colonel. Now please, make yourselves comfortable and someone will see to Titus' wounds.

[CHARLIE hands the prophecy over to TOPHAM.]

Alice: [To Austin] Aw, come on, Aus! They've told us several times not to go in there, so I think we can say with absolute certainty that we will never, ever, ever, go into the Virgin Room.


;;; End of scene, next one coming up

05.08.001

[Book VII, Act V, Scene VIII. The Main Hallway. ALICE, AUSTIN, CHARLIE, CLINT, DUR, HARVEY and TITUS are here, along with ADAM, having just left MARASMUS' room.]

Alice: Let's go to the Virgin Room!

05.08.002

Austin : [To Alice] Why? There can be nothing there except for temptation. Contravening the no go area under discussion is probably what got Darius mindwiped and thrown out of IxI.

05.08.003

Adam: That and stabbing Pestilence in the eye.

05.08.003

Charlie: Indeed, that does sound like the sort of nonsense to which he might fall prey. No, let us sit quietly and wait for the prophecy to be translated.

05.08.004

Adam: Or, you could try and figure out what in Ixi is so valuable and so secret that Pestilence and Darius would team up together to find it.

[Enter MARY ANDERSON, a woman in her early twenties, dressed all in white.]

Mary: I believe there are some here who need aid.

05.08.004

Charlie: [Enraged] What?! Why would Pestilence seek out the Virgin Room?! [Quickly composes herself] Er, I mean, why on earth WAS Pestilence here, come to think of it??

05.08.005

Adam: I don't know, but it was important enough for him and Darius to work together, and you know how difficult Darius is.

[MARY begins to quietly tend to TITUS' wounds.]

05.08.006

Harvey : We should search this place from top to bottom. Leave no stone unturned, what!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.08.006

Austin : One would hypothesise that there is something of incredible importance in the virgin room. [Sighs, checks his nail briefly] Unfortunately.

05.08.007

Mary: [Finishing with Titus, who's now back up to full HP] Really? You're going to search our sacred buildings? While we're trying to help you?

05.08.008

Harvey : We are really looking forward to sight seeing and admiring the architecture of this wonderful place!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.08.008

Austin : [To Mary] Indeed good lady, it would be most ungrateful of us to do such a thing. Colonel, I suggest that we stick to our mission to get the prophecy translated, and not be ungrateful guests.

05.08.009

Mary: [Fixes Harvey with a steely gaze] Really?

05.08.010

Mary: That sounds like a good idea. Now, in the meantime, would you like to make yourself comfortable in the Virgin Room?

05.08.011

Austin : [Looks surprised] Errm, well we accept your most gracious offer, of course, but I must say that we have been asked by your colleagues several times not to enter the virgin room. Will they mind?

05.08.012

Mary: Hah! Well done. That was a test. Come on, I'll show you to a room that you can wait in.

[MARY brings the party to a comfortable looking room.]

Mary: Why don't you make yourselves comfortable? I'll come and get you when she's finished. [To Adam] Can I have a word with you before you join them?

Adam: Will it be in the Virgin Room?

Mary: No.

Adam: [Sigh] Well, okay then.

[The party enter the room and the door is closed behind them.]

Alice: Well, I'd certainly like to know what Darius and Pestilence were up to, and what happened, but I guess it would be bad form to search the virgins?

05.08.013

Titus: [While being healed by Mary] Thank you so much my kind Lady. It is so nice to be healed by such wonderful hands considering the alternative was Dur. [During the Virgin Room discussion] Lady Mary, I can guarantee you that we, at least I will not enter the Virgin room. There is nothing in the world that would make me want to insult such nice hospitality. [Later to the group] Who in the realm is Darius? And anyone interested in running a pool in who will be the first idiot to enter the Virgin Room? I vote Alice.

05.08.013

Austin : It would be bad form to get *caught* searching anything. If we get the prophecy translated first, there will perhaps be an opportunity afterwards to find out what Darius and Pestillence were doing here.

05.08.014

Dur: So Darius and Pestilence were looking for something... Possibly someone? Who may have been IN the virgin room?=

05.08.014

Alice: [Nods] Yes, I'd vote Alice too. Darius is a Hierophantic Knight, a super secret organisation of people who seem to mostly work for good in the Realms, although he often seems to benefit personally from pretty much anything he does.

05.08.014

Charlie: Indeed! We mustn't let anything jeopardize the translation process, so we must be especially careful now. Perhaps there are others here we could question?

05.08.015

Titus: [To Alice] Alice, you cannot vote for yourself in a pool. It makes it too easy to win. So Darius is a good guy? Did any of you had intimate relations with him? How do you know about this Super Secret Organization?

05.08.016

Alice: [To Charlie] Maybe we could ask Adam? He seems smug enough to be a friend of Darius'. If they were here together, they were definitely looking for something or someone. [To Titus] We're part of it!

05.08.017

Titus: [To Alice] Wait! If this is a super secret organization, why are you telling me? And why did you join?

05.08.018

Alice: I can't tell you that, it's a secret.

05.08.018

Titus: [To Alice] Oh. Make sense. Not. This is getting better by the second. Between the sexcapades, the murders and the secret organizations and the knighthoods, this group is a walking entertainment complex!

05.08.019

Austin : We have done some rather fine circus performances too, traveled in time, and even spent some time in Hell, so hang around and things might eventually get exciting.

05.08.020

Titus: [To Austin] I am not much of a performer although I do know the prestidigitation spell. Every day of my life is a trip in Hell so I would have felt at home. Time travel is actually quite interesting. I would love to go back and change a thing or two. So, I really feel things will get interesting at one point or the others.

05.08.021

Harvey : Oh dear, one of the worst things possible is to travel back in time and change anything, sir! The consequences can be quite consequential!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.08.021

Alice: Your act is that you press your fingers? That doesn't seem that entertaining!

[Enter ADAM, holding a bloody sword and looking quite disheveled.]

Adam: [Nonchalantly] Everything okay? They looking after you alright?

05.08.022
05.08.022

Titus: [To Alice] Yeah, something like that. You are priceless. [Jumps as Adam enters with the bloody sword] Who did you slaughter? [Slowly pulls down his flask and smoke]

05.08.023

Adam: The monastery is being over run by a crazed mob. Some of them were looking for you guys.

05.08.024

Austin : [Looks alarmed] Is Marasmus okay?


;;;; byeeee, that's me off for chrimbo

;;; Merry Christmas everyone!

05.08.025

Charlie: [Pulls out her sword] Group, prepare to fight! [To Adam] I don't suppose this mob articulated its aims to you, by any chance?


;;;Merry Christmas, Dom!

05.08.025

Titus: [To the group] What did you do now? Any specific details I should know about the reasons for a mob to attack a peaceful monastery?

05.08.026

Adam: Actually, they did. They issued a ten page manifesto describing them in detail, but the one that seems most relevant to you is here, on page 7. [Shows it to the party]

Alice: [Reading the aim] We demand the enforcement of the rights of kittens to be adorable? Well, that doesn't sound so bad, I suppose.

Adam: No, the one below it.

Alice: [Reads] We demand the slaughter, in the most painful way possible, Alice Bassett-Short and anyone associated with her. [Thinks for a moment] Well, I like their stance on kitten cuteness, but, I must admit, I'm not a hundred per cent behind their position on the whole killing of me thing.

Adam: [To Austin] I don't know, but I suggest we fight our way towards her.

05.08.027

Charlie: [To the party] Let us do just that, though I suggest Alice remain protected and out of sight? Perhaps a quick disguise couldn't hurt?

05.08.028

Alice: I could disguise myself as a virgin! Hang on a sec, just let me put on some extra make up. [Adds to her already dangerously-near-whorish make up]

Adam: Best not to. Check out aim #13 on page 2.

Alice: [Reading] We will carry out a systematic defilement of all virgins over the age of 16. Well, that's really disappointing. I'm down there on page seven while those damned virgins are right up there on page two! What the hell have they ever done for anyone?

05.08.029

Titus: Crazy mob! Who is behind them? Who is their leader? Let's takes them out, that usually calm the mob. We need to protect the virgins. They should be the ones deciding wen and with whom their lose their virginity, not being gang raped but a crazy mob. And protect Marasmus too. Would a few pointed fireballs at the leader do the trick of cooling off that mad crowd? Or we could give them Alice as a tease to calm it down and gain time to evacuate the virgins and Marasmus.

05.08.030

Harvey : [Angrily to Titus] Damn your blasted hide sir! Never suggest that we give up my dear niece, again, what! [Draws his sword and turns to the gr= oup] Right then, let us meet this cute kitten loving mob head on!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.08.030

Clint: We could dress Alice up as a dude. That'd stop the mob from killing her OR... uh... defiling her.


;;; So I'm finally connected to the interweb back in Seattle, and I've even

;;; read all 100 messages I missed! Merry Christmas, Dom!

05.08.031

Alice: [To Clint] Or we could disguise Titus as a man!

Adam: [Ready to pull the door open] Right! Marasmus' room is down the hall on the left. It's very important to get to her before the others do.

05.08.032

Clint: Don't tell me - she's on the list, too? [Gets ready to crack some heads.]

05.08.033

Adam: Okay, I won't. Right, ready to go? Go! [Pulls the door open]

05.08.034

Clint: Right. Angry mob, beware! [Spills out the door all Rambo-like.]

05.08.035

[The party charge out, swords blazing, and find at least thirty hooded mean rampaging around. These are INTERFERONS. Also here is DAYNIEL DANLEWIS, last seen by the party plunging over the side of a cliff.]

Dayniel: [Spots the party and gives a big grin] Too late!

05.08.036

Titus: [To Danyiel with anger and hatred in his eyes] YOU! [To the party] Step back! [Unleashes a fireball to engulf as many interferons as possible and Dayniel if possible while avoiding team members]

05.08.037

[A huge fireball shoots out, catching six or seven INTERFERONS, who seem nicely flammable.]

Dayniel: [Ducking to avoid the fireball, before popping up again] Hey, thanks for showing us how to get to Ixi, you guys are just great!


;;; Heather is afk

Charlie: Don't be sidetracked by his taunting, Group, don't forget our mission!

05.08.038

Titus: [To the group] Go get Marasmus. I'll delay that group by thinning out the herd. [Fires another fireball at the interferons, hoping to get as many as possible.]

05.08.039

Alice: Hey, Adam, why- [looks around] Hey! He just shut the door on us! Come on, Tites, let's all stick together!

05.08.040

Charlie: Indeed, Titus, we must stay together at all costs. Come, group, we must help Marasmus. She is most vulnerable!

05.08.041

[The party slash their way towards the door, beating a path through the burning INTERFERONS, but they keep pouring in through the main door. Just as they get to MARASMUS' door, it swings open from the outside. Standing just inside is TOPHAM, who stares straight at the party.]

05.08.043

Dur: [Crashes to a halt] Ummm... Can Marasmus come out an play?From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.96.204 with HTTP; Wed, 22 Dec 2010 07:17:18 -0800 (PST) Date: Wed, 22 Dec 2010 15:17:18 +0000 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: TWT7NyWr3HOMZTF9tEp-9B7t1aI Message-ID: <AANLkTikNemeSH=mDKNNWtCyMGPChgEUWTn19Su2X3uTk@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, "chinca.al@tbcam.com" <chinca.al@tbcam.com>, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

[TOPHAM keels over face first, revealing that he has been stabbed in the back by an INTERFERON. In the background, the party can see MARASMUS slumped on the floor, covered in blood.]

Interferon: Too late!


;;; And there we will pause for Christmas.

;;; We'll start again Jan 5.

05.08.044

Alice: You bastard!

Interferon: [Apparently chewing on someone's finger] Yes, and I'm a bastard with a translation of the Prophecy! [Waves a blood stained piece of paper in front of the party in an extremely irritating and smug fashion]

05.08.045

Titus: [if interferon is down, will grab the translation. If not, will shoot magic missiles] Not for long, trust me!

05.08.045

Austin : [Shoots the interferon with his sling] Grab the translation!


;;; happy new year!

05.08.046

[The INTERFERON staggers, but doesn't fall. However, TITUS does grab the translation.]

Alice: [As Titus snatches it] Yoink!

Interferon: [Keeping a firm hold of one of the translation, causing it to rip in half] Hey! Now that's just rude!

[Several more INTERFERONS come up behind the party.]

05.08.047

Charlie: [Tries to hack off the prophecy-holding interferon's hand] prepare to retreat, group!!=

05.08.049

Dur: [To the INTERFERON] Well, we tried asking nicely for it!From qvblogger Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.96.204 with SMTP id i12cs133711fan; Thu, 6 Jan 2011 06:48:32 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.213.15.3 with SMTP id i3mr3256243eba.81.1294325311882; Thu, 06 Jan 2011 06:48:31 -0800 (PST) Return-Path: <Colin.Dinan@version1.com> Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by mx.google.com with ESMTP id s42si4317851eeh.15.2011.01.06.06.48.31; Thu, 06 Jan 2011 06:48:31 -0800 (PST) Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of Colin.Dinan@version1.com) client-ip=193.1.100.137; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=neutral (google.com: 193.1.100.137 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of Colin.Dinan@version1.com) smtp.mail=Colin.Dinan@version1.com Received: from garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (Not Verified [193.1.97.39] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4d25d5d50001>; Thu, 06 Jan 2011 14:46:45 +0000 Received: from MARSHAL4.ul.ie (marshal4.ul.ie [193.1.100.137] ) by garryowen.csisdmz.ul.ie (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id p06EmUuB017439 for <conor@mail.csisdmz.ul.ie>; Thu, 6 Jan 2011 14:48:30 GMT Received: from staffexchange7.ul.campus (Not Verified [193.1.101.32] ) by MARSHAL4.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4d25d5d50000>; Thu, 06 Jan 2011 14:46:45 +0000 Received: from MARSHAL5.ul.ie ( [193.1.100.135] ) by staffexchange7.ul.campus with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.4675); Thu, 6 Jan 2011 14:46:44 +0000 Received: from SRVADMEXCH03.v1.com (Not Verified [83.71.143.7] ) by MARSHAL5.ul.ie with MailMarshal (v6,8,4,9558) id <B4d25e2dd03fc>; Thu, 06 Jan 2011 14:46:44 +0000 Received: from srvadmexch01.V1.COM (192.168.122.132) by mx0.version1.com (172.19.131.26) with Microsoft SMTP Server (TLS) id 8.3.137.0; Thu, 6 Jan 2011 14:48:23 +0000 Received: from srvadmexch01.V1.COM ( [192.168.122.132] ) by srvadmexch01.V1.COM ( [192.168.122.132] ) with mapi; Thu, 6 Jan 2011 14:48:22 +0000 To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz>, Heather Goggans <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, Conor Ryan <conor.ryan@ul.ie> CC: "chinca.al@tbcam.com" <chinca.al@tbcam.com>, dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, TomHenderson <th4@rice.edu>, Tom Henderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu> Date: Thu, 6 Jan 2011 14:46:42 +0000 Thread-Topic: [qv] 05.08.049 Thread-Index: AQHLrbDEMcYxhva0r0iLouz/CJsnAwMessage-ID: <B934E39ABDD3B145B6E31161FB0920B003F3E1778B@srvadmexch01.V1.COM> Accept-Language: en-US Content-Language: en-GB X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: acceptlanguage: en-US Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable MIME-Version: 1.0 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 06 Jan 2011 14:46:44.0900 (UTC) FILETIME= [89DCF640:01CBADB0]

Harvey : [Also swings at the INTERFERONs arm]

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05.08.050

[The party swing and hack, but the INTERFERON is too quick, and soon the party are engulfed in reinforcements.]

Alice: [Getting punched in the face by one] Ow! Holy crap! There are hundreds of them here -- and they all look the same! Keep an eye on him!

[The INTERFERON with the prophecy is heading towards the train that the party came in on.]

05.08.051

Titus: [Trying to escape the interferons to fire one of his last few remaining spells] Let's blow out the train before he escapes! [Will shoot a fireball at the engine if he can do it safely]

05.08.052

Austin : I wish Sven was here, he'd beat these cretins to a pulp [Shots another Interferon]

05.08.053

Titus: Who is Sven? Why isn't here?

05.08.054

Alice: [Trying to push an Interferon out of the way] Marasmus' husband, and he's dead, but he comes back to earth every so often. Maybe if we close our eyes and wish really hard, he'll come back? [Closes her eyes and concentrates.]

[Bam. ALICE gets punched in the face by an INTERFERON as TITUS fires another fireball, but, although it strikes the train, it doesn't stop the INTERFERON with the other piece of the prophecy getting on it.]

Interferon: [Starting up the train] So long, losers!

05.08.054

Charlie: Sven is a well-muscled ally, though he does not often travel with us. Not to worry, though, we have this situation well in hand!=

05.08.055

Alice: Not if he gets away on that train we won't!

[Choo choo! The trains starts to pull away.]

05.08.056

Austin : [Shoots the Interferon on the train] Come back with our prophecy!

05.08.057

prophecy!

Titus: {Fires at the Interferon on the train] Do what Austin tell you to do or suffer our wrath!

05.08.058

Dur: Wow. You sure told him Titus! [Attempts to cast stone shape *http://dungeons.wikia.com/wiki/SRD:Stone_Shape* to form a road block just in front o= f the train or even directly beneath it so that it can not move.]

05.08.059

Inteferon: How very scary.

[DAYNIEL has cast some sort of spell that splashes the party with a thick bluish liquid, which doesn't have any immediate effect, however, DUR's spell fails.]

Alice: We need to catch that train!

[The train is still close enough and moving slowly enough to leap on board.]

05.08.060

Clint: Screw the train, we need to catch that Interferon! [Dashes for the train, pausing only to pull a Terrible Terry Tate on any Interferon that gets in his way.]


;;; Happy 2011, I think!

05.08.061

Austin : [Gasp at the blue goo] He is going to die horribly! [Tries to jump on the train]

05.08.062

Harvey : [Puffs after the train] Come troop, all aboard who's going aboard!

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05.08.063

[AUSTIN clambers aboard the train, followed by HARVEY.]

Alice: Me too! [Scrambles onto the last carriage with AUSTIN and HARVEY.]


;;; Remember, the train is very small, so the party are ON the train rather

;;; than in it.

05.08.063

aboard!

Titus: [Jumps on the train and tries to pummel the interferon to a pulp with his staff] But, but what about the virgins .....

05.08.064

Austin : [To Titus] You can come too. [Tries to shoot an Interferon that is holding a piece of the prophecy]

05.08.065

Alice: [As Titus pokes an Interferon in the stomach, pushing him off the train] And Dur, of course, we don't have any problem with virgins here!

05.08.066

Charlie: [Jumps onto the train] Do stop obsessing about the private lives ofthe party! We must have the rest of the prophecy!=

05.08.067

[CHARLIE leaps aboard, followed by CLINT, just as the train starts pulling away. Two other INTERFERONS are also on board, on top of the engine.]


;;; For clarity, we'll call those two InterferonA and InterferonB

Interferon: [As the train gets even faster] You fools! You'll never catch us!

05.08.067

Titus: [To Alice while whacking another Interferon] Want to get some community services credits and repop my cherry?

05.08.068

Alice: [Struggling to hold on to the now speeding train] Titus, if you can't eat your cherry in a room full of virgins, then I think it'll never be repopped.

05.08.069

Dur: Wait... Are we chasing bad guys or stopping for lunch? Stop sending mixed signals!=

05.08.069

Clint: Never mind your sex lives, we've got asses to kick! Chaaaaaarge! [Advances as rapidly as he can manage on the moving train and wonders why he's never gotten around to buying a crossbow or something useful like that.]


;;; So I've got this awful case of insomnia, which means I'm posting at a

;;; human hour. The horror!

05.08.069

Titus: [To Alice, still in whacking the interferons mode] They are supposed to stay virgins! And we did not get to the room!

05.08.070

[The party advance unsteadily across the top of the carriages, while INTERERONA and INTEFERONB, now wearing cowboy hats move towards them. INTERFERONA's hat flies off with the wind.]

InterferonA: My hat! Oh no! My mother's going to kill me!

05.08.071

Charlie: Give us the prophecy, and we won't say a thing to your mother, we swear!

05.08.071

Clint: She's not gonna get the chance, scumbag! [Tries to look menacing and most likely ends up just looking smelly.]

05.08.072

Alice: Because we'll be too busy doing her! [Makes a squeaky bed spring sound] Ee-ee-ee!

InterferonA: Hey! That's not the noise she makes when she's having sex!

[INTEFERONA and INTERFERONB climb unsteadily onto the carriage behind the engine, while the party advance towards them. The train has left the main building, and is zooming around the main monastery enclosure. It is now quite difficult to hang on.]

05.08.073

Harvey : [To InterferonA] Good god man, no one wants to hear the like, what! What sound does she make when she slaps you across the backside for losi= ng your hat?

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.08.074

Dur: [Raises an eyebrow at Harvey] Colonel! This is hardly time to ask for details to satisfy whatever crazy fetish you have with spankings, we have a= prophecy to obtain!

05.08.075

Alice: [Sighs sadly] There's almost never a good time to ask for details about spankings.

[Both groups advance, with CHARLIE, CLINT and HARVEY engaging with INTEFERONA and INTERFERONB, all balancing precariously on the increasingly speeding train.]


;;; Heather is afk

Charlie: Quickly, Group, let us dispose of them, we can discuss spanking afterwards!


;;; The train map now has all the rails and buildings on it.

;;; The internals of buildings are NOT shown, so a track that stops at

;;; a building actually goes into it. Dead ends are where the track

;;; stops

05.08.076

Clint: Yeah, like we can't do both! [Attempts to force InterferonA off the train.] Although I'd rather kick ass than paddle it.

05.08.077

[With a lot of pushing and shoving, CLINT, HARVEY and CHARLIE manage to bundle INTERFERONA off the train, leaving just INTEFERONB between them and the engine, where the INTEFERON with the prophecy is.]

Alice: Alright! God himself couldn't stop us from getting the prophecy now!

[INTFERONB suddenly begins to glow blue, and starts to grow in size.]

05.08.078

Austin : [To Alice, alarmed at the changes in InterferonB ] Why on earth would any real god be concerned with mere mortals like us? [Looking at interferonB, very worried] That looks like a very very bad thing.

05.08.079

Clint: [Sizes up InterferonB.] Huh. Looks sort of like someone ate Dur's chili. This is gonna hurt... [Tries to stab InterferonB in the foot.]

05.08.080

Austin : [Shoots at interferonB hoping that it will pop] I do hope that is just gas from the chilli!

05.08.081

Titus: Note to self. Don't eat Dur's chili. [Hit the interferon on the foot] Something this big will have trouble staying up on something as small as that train.

05.08.082

Charlie: [also tries to knock interferonB off his feet] Good thinking!

05.08.083

Alice: Hey! There was chili? How come I didn't get any chili?

[Everyone manages to get a hit in on INTERFERONB, but their blows, including AUSTIN's shot, simply bounce off. The train continues, heading towards one of the buildings.]

InterferonB: [Face contorted with rage] And now you will die! [Gives the classic evil maniac laugh, followed by a geeky snort] A-ha ha ha ha ha - snort!

[The party can see that there is a tunnel in the building that the train is about to go through, which allows people in the building to cross over the tracks.]

05.08.084

Dur: [Trying to stall] Could you perhaps give us a moment to ponder our imminent demise?

05.08.085

InterferonB: Never!

Alice: Aw, come on!

InteferonB: Hm, let me think about it for a moment. [Ponders]

05.08.086

Charlie: [to the party, stalling for time] I think what I shall miss most israinbows on a warm summer's afternoon.=

05.08.087

Alice: What I'll miss is getting to see this idiot being knocked down by the tunnel, because that would be really funny.

InteferonB: [Having considered the matter] No! There shall be no time to ponder!

[Thunk. INTEFERONB is knocked off the train as it speeds through the tunnel. All the party duck and cling to the roof of the train as they are suddenly engulfed in darkness. When they emerge, INTEFERONB is gone, and it is just the party and the INTEFERON with the prophecy left.]

Alice: Let's get him! [Suddenly realises she's wearing Dur's shirt] Hey! What just happened in there?

[ALICE is wearing DUR's shirt, TITUS has CHARLIE's, CLINT has HARVEY's, AUSTIN has ALICE's, DUR has CLINT'S and HARVEY has TITUS'.]

05.08.088

Harvey : [Looking down] I say, what the blue blazes just happened there?


;;;Sorry for the lack of posts - crazy day!

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05.08.088

Austin : [Sniffs his new shirt and grimaces] Eeew, cheap perfume and [sniffs again] eeww. [Takes the shirt off and looks around distressed] Who has my shirt? Who has it?

05.08.089

Alice: Hey! Be careful with that, Austin! Some that small and trashy costs a lot of money!

[CHARLIE has AUSTIN's shirt.]

Alice: And forget that, let's get the prophecy!

05.08.090

Alice: I don't know, Uncle Harvey, I think it suits you! Now, come on! Let's get us a prophecy!

05.08.091

Harvey : Indeed dear niece! [Starts advancing towards Interferon]

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.08.092

Titus: [ripping off Charlie's shirt] Sorry but I am not into cross-dressing. [Moves toward the interferon ready to smack him]

05.08.093

Alice: I don't know, Titus, it could open up a whole new world for you. The feeling of silk encasing your unmentionables could do wonders for your moody disposish!

[The party carefully clamber across the roof of the train only to see the INTERFERON detach the carriage from the engine.]

Inteferon: So long, suckers! [Reaches over and flips a railway siding switch just before a fork in the rail]

Alice: Oh no! We're going to head down that dead end!

[ALICE is right. The party's carriage will be sent down a dead end where the rail runs out, so will definitely crash. All that is there is a stack of unused train tracks and a bunch of tools.]

05.08.094

Charlie: [Gasps and covers herself with her arms] Let us jump for it, group!

05.08.095

Alice: No! We'll never make it alive, and they'll get away with the prophecy! [Points to the pile of tracks and tools beside the railway] Look! Let's grab them and build the track in front of us!

[CLINT and TITUS hang over the side of the carriage and grab the stack of tracks and the tools, while HARVEY and DUR climb down the front of the carriage and feverishly start building the track in front of the carriage, so it carries on, running alongside the main track.]

Interferon: [Shocked] Hey! That's cheating! [Starts throwing coal at Harvey and Dur, but fails to hit them]

<P><a href=http://queens-view.com/Resources/7.5.8/>Train update</A>

05.08.096

Clint: Harv, while we've still got a head of steam.... ramming speed!


;;; I've *always* wanted to do that.

05.08.097

Alice: If anything we're getting faster! Yeeeha! Let's get hi-ow! [Gets hit on the forehead by a piece of coal] Hey! That really hurt!

05.08.098

Harvey : Stop that coal throwing you swine! [Continues building the track]

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.08.099

Austin : [Shoots the interferon] Take that you wretch!

05.08.100

Titus: [Building the track with Harvey] Why do I have to do all the manual work around here?

05.08.101

Alice: Because you're the only one not wearing a shirt!

[AUSTIN hits the INTEFERON, causing him to slip, but he doesn't fall off. Incredibly, HARVEY and TITUS keep extending the track, and both the engine and the party's carriage keep increasing in speed, although the engine is pulling away.]

Alice: [Eyes up Dur] We need to lose some weight!

05.08.102

Dur: I could amputate a few of your limbs? Oh don't worry, I could re-attach them after we're done!

05.08.103

Austin : Why don't we simply disconnect the trailing carriages? Everyone to the front!

05.08.104

Alice: [Giving Dur the finger] You can start with this!

[AUSTIN disconnects the carriages, and the party pick up speed. Soon, they are almost level with the engine, but an INNOCENT BYSTANDER strays in front of them, and it is only through a miraculous change of direction by HARVEY and TITUS that their carriage avoids him. However, they are now heading straight towards a large sliding door in a building. Just as they are about to hit it, the door is opened by ADAM DAWSON.]

Adam: [Dead calm, even though there is murder and mayhem going on behind him in what appears to be the monastery laundry] Perhaps you should try to crash into them?

05.08.105

Charlie: Perhaps we haven't any choice! [Ducks and covers her head]

05.08.106

Austin : [Eyes light up at the sight of the laundry] Grab me a clean shirt if you see one! Thank you!

05.08.107

[The party zoom in, smashing INTERFERONs out of the way with the carriage.]

Alice: [Grabbing a super feminine pink frilly shirt] Here, Aus!

[The party are almost immediately covered in huge sheets, many with disgusting and improbable stains, but it is now very, very dark on the carriage.]

05.08.109

Dur: Great! How are we supposed to see where we are going?From qvblogger MIME-Version: 1.0 Sender: conor.r@gmail.com Received: by 10.223.96.204 with HTTP; Tue, 11 Jan 2011 08:50:15 -0800 (PST) Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2011 10:50:15 -0600 Delivered-To: conor.r@gmail.com X-Google-Sender-Auth: ZreYdshGJ40UQ3zsz5M2fIC5zdk Message-ID: <AANLkTik1ShX6qGaPHGqZU=et9MnoFv5+0JjHwi4xtpHX@mail.gmail.com> To: "Day, Kevin R. (Las Colinas) NA" <Kevin.Day@hanson.biz> Cc: dom <djmalzie@googlemail.com>, Heather <heather.goggans@gmail.com>, Colin Dinan <Colin.Dinan@version1.com>, Tom Henderson <th4@rice.edu>, "chinca.al@tbcam.com" <chinca.al@tbcam.com>, ColinDinan <dinancolin@googlemail.com>, MadamOlivam <mmeolivam@yahoo.com>, "qvblogger@gmail.com" <qvblogger@gmail.com>, TomHenderson <Thomas.Henderson@rice.edu> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Alice: If whoever is grabbing my left boob doesn't let go, they're going to get slapped. [Cue sound of slapping] Ow! Hey! Someone just slapped me!

[There is a tremendous crash, as the carriage bursts out through a floor to ceiling window. The party pull back the sheets to see that they are now very close to the engine.]

Alice: If only we had a rope to lasso this guy!

05.08.110

Charlie: Let us fashion a rope using sheets!

05.08.111

[The party get fashioning, and soon they have a good length of rope.]

Interferon: [Spots what's going on, and starts to climb onto the far side of the engine] Hah! You losers will never get me -- we're about to head back to the main building, which is bursting with Interferons!

[As if on cue, an INTEFERON is thrown out of a window from the main building.]

05.08.112

Charlie: So it would appear! It also seems your colleagues are under attack, rather conveniently! [tries to lasso the Interferon] =

05.08.113

Harvey : We could always angle the track towards the other train and smash into the cur, what! Derail, him!

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05.08.114

Clint: C'mon, guys, let's head him off at the pass. [To the unmannerly Interferon.] Hand over that prophecy and prepare to be boarded!


;;; Is the other train close enough that Clint can toss someone Alice or

Dur over to it?

05.08.115

[CHARLIE swings the lasso and catches the INTEFERON around the leg.]

Interferon: Hey! Let go!

05.08.116

Harvey : [Still building the track] Good on you girl! Now troop, give her ahand and pull the blighter off the train!

Version 1 Software Ltd, T/A Version 1, is a limited company registered in Ireland Registered Office: Jervis House, Jervis Street, Dublin 1, Ireland Tel: +353 1 865 7800 Cork Office: NSC Campus, Mahon, Cork, Ireland Tel: +353 21 435 0073 Belfast Office: The Mount Business Centre, 2 Woodstock Link, Belfast BT6 8DD Tel NI: +44 28 90 730156 Registration No: 257302

05.08.117

Austin : [Gives Alice a hand pulling the rope] Tug!

05.08.118

Clint: Hurry it up, guys! We're gonna run out of track sooner or later!

05.08.119

All: Heave!

[The INTEFERON is dragged off the engine, but his weight forces HARVEY and TITUS to keep building ever closer to the main track.]

Alice: What'll happen if we-

[Crash! A mighty explosion and fireball ensues.]


;;; End of act, next one coming right up